my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
CW: THE CURRENT WAR IN THE NEAR EAST
Yes, I'm still thinking about it. And the reasons for it. Said reasons are obvious to anyone sufficiently educated on the region & its history, as well as the consequences of the first two world wars. (Not everyone knows, as it's long & very complicated)
Maybe I should have more sympathy for the so-called Palestinians.* Sometimes I feel like I should...until I remember that when they held their first election in '06, they voted for Hamas in Gaza. At that point whatever sympathy I might've had evaporates, like cigarette smoke. Gaza isn't even the top priority...in my book, Judea & Samaria** should be part of Israel. If Arabs want to live there, fine. They should pay their taxes & obey Israel's laws. In other words, they can be citizens. If they don't like it, they can always go to one of the many countries of the Near East &/or northern Africa, where they would surely find a place that is sufficiently judenrein.°
Of course I've read a fair bit online in keeping up with the current war. There are always comment threads...Gonna leave one of the better comments right here:
*Though none admit it today, the majority of Palestinians are descended from what are now Jordanians. Depending on who you're dealing with there may be some Lebanese in their family trees as well.
**The more historically accurate name for what most people call "the West Bank".
°German word meaning "Jew-free".
I am not the only one in this situation.
Normally I'd say we're are all in the same boat, but a more accurate way to put it for us middle-aged loners is that we are all piloting our own boats in a wide endless sea. Because you are the only one on your boat, it's easy to forget there are others in a similar situation...but there are. Quite a few, in fact.
There's just one example here.
I don't have much in common with the guy in the video at first glance: I am not quite as healthy if his appearance is anything to go by, I've had more education (both formal & self-directed), & I'm definitely not black. But in a very basic way, his story is much like my own.
People like us live all across the developed world.... There has to be some way to connect with a few of these folks. At least some of them have to be basically decent people, due to statistical probability if nothing else.
"Lemme tell ya somethin': happiness is bulls**t. It's the great myth of the late 20th century. You think Picasso was happy?...think Hemingway was? Hendrix? They were miserable s**ts. No art worth a d**n was ever created outta happiness, I can tell ya that much. Ambition...narcissism, s.e.x, rage, those are the engines that drive every great artist, every great man.
"...a hole that can't be filled.
"That's why we're all such miserable a**holes."
- Ben Ryder (Ed Harris), Kodachrome
Some of my dreams are frightening or disturbing; others are just strange. I can't remember the last time I dreamed anything that was pleasant, or at least innocuous.
Guess that's what piled-up traumas do to one's mind...
Errrgh...
My congestion is a bit worse than usual today. I hope it's only allergies & does not turn into a cold, or flu.
Like every other part of me, my immune system has all the quality of some piece of plastic junk made in some godforsaken factory in Shenzen & put on the shelf in a Wal-Mart somewhere.
New year, but not a new me. That's why I don't do new year's resolutions...it takes more than what follows a vow made on one day to change a person, if anything follows at all. Self-improvement cannot just follow a resolution made on an arbitrary day; one must work at it all the days of one's life.
But I do have goals I want to achieve this year.
I was having a particularly active dream...in it, I rolled out of the way to keep from getting sucked into a very large machine (the kinda thing you might see at a sewage treatment plant)--& rolled off my bed onto the floor where I landed on my clothes iron, back first. That is how my day started. Since then I haven't eaten anything & had to run to the john three times because, well, IBS...my GI tract is possessed by Mohtecuzoma* again.
"Happy New Year" MY A.S.S. Literally. 😡
*a more accurate transliteration of the name of the Aztec leader commonly known as Montezuma.
And let's not forget the gas. When you have IBS & it flares up, you play those muffled baritone notes... My rectal sphincter has a lot to say this afternoon.
Yes, I know it's disgusting. Welcome to middle-aged life with chronic health issues.
@slowdecline48 I have to admit the way you described it made me laugh but I'm sure it's anything but funny that you suffer with it. Does anything help or does it have to sort of run it's course on its own?
@mytwistedsoul Nothing helps it...nothing I've tried so far, anyway. Am wondering if simethicone tablets should be a regular part of my diet now, kinda like a medical sacrament...
@slowdecline48 That really sucks that nothing helps. Have you tried chamomile or peppermint tea? From what I read it might help alittle but you know you better than I do lol. I hesitate to suggest it. Personally I can't stand chamomile tea myself but I looked online and it's supposed to help with gas and intestinal discomfort - might be worth giving it a try?
@mytwistedsoul I do drink tea regularly...had to give up coffee. It was a sacrifice. But I don't imbibe chamomile tea all the time. *shrug* It's worth a shot. At this point I'll take any suggestions short of "suck on a piece of depleted uranium for a week, then see if there's any improvement"...
@slowdecline48 Idk if you it's something you need to drink every day or just when there's a flare up of symptoms. It would be awesome if it could help you
@slowdecline48
Hi decline.
I started a bit to watch your threads, but I could not find the message you sent me yesterday about your age. You can help me find it if you want to.
In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.
A question, gentle reader:
Did you ever wish you could sleep in a regular pattern, like normal healthy people do?
@slowdecline48 Sleep? What is this mythical thing you speak of?
I do! People talk about how the got 8 -9-10 hours of sleep and I'm in awe! Sorry that you struggle with sleep too
