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- in the wonders of my mindš.
in the wonders of my mindš.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnāt look like meš§makes sense doesnāt itšsince there can only be one *me*āØone of a kind now arent Iš/sar. one out of 8118835999āØš·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youāre also one of a kindš sorrysorry haha :Pš¤im just messing around xDšalso itās 2am- but shush no snitchingš¤«Iāll sleep in a whilešwhen Iām feeling a bit more sane :>šš©·
wanted to have my own space.š for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.š
to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šplease dont lurk here.š©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šbut please be respectfulš©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pš yāall get crazy nosy haha- itās alright.šnothing too interesting will be here anywayšif you would like to come in and be supportive itās completely okiešbut please donāt make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšbecause Iād still like this to be just my space ^-^š)
in morel Ed there was a girl- which Iām not gonna refer to by anything rn. idk what was happening to her. maybe thatās rude-? just- I think it was hiccups but how dumb is that. she was just making a weird sound I guess. she covered her face but kept looking up to see everyone looking at her- I didnāt- because I didnāt want to make it worse since she could mostly see me covering her face. that annoying group of guys behind me were laughing a ton tho- shadow was behind me. they thought it was me which wtf? whatever. shadow told them to just not look at me but how do you not realize-.Ā
he leaned back with his chair and held on my table. which like Iām tryna work so no this isnāt wattpad or ***
we were meant to be fully silent cos our substitute is hella strict. so ofc he had to whisper right in my ear like really dude whatās next-
im sorry but I still just. I hate him so much.
not wasting my voice on him so I just looked up at the girl.Ā
I feel mean but I swear heās so damn irritating and annoying-
"oh itās (hername)?"
I just said yeah.Ā
nd it doesnāt even end. god help me-
2 girls in my lead said theyād pay me to tell them about sum drama Iām an apparent witness of.
and me trying to say in the nicest gentlest way possible that I was told I couldnāt tell anyone what I saw and know. :ā)
@yyeyiiLy
replying here if okiešsince the page the convo started in is starting to be pretty far back :0šhard to find it- :Pš©·
(Iām sorry if I seem off. Iām just like dead inside aushqahajajjajiajaj XDš¤)
:P I wish everyoneās pain upon myself :P./gen.šno one deserves it.š¤I know itās hard but I know Iām mentally strong and prepared enough to handle it.šif I was suffering knowing i was helping sum in any way possible Iād suffer with a smile. but itās not that simple.š©·I was gonna ignore that- "Iāll probably be gone soon anyways"Ā :')šbecause ignoring and avoiding is how I deny what I donāt want to hear or know.š©·but. thatād make yu think I just didnāt care.šwhich- we all knuw is *beyond* far from the truth :DššI love you sm-Ā :') <3šthe loaf and care I have for yu is endless- like nyan cat :33šššššššš¶šāØnyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyanāØšš¶so I should say sumthingšI knuw yur going through sum horrible thingsš©·struggling so much is so unfairly common now.šgenerations change and people change and people- seem to be getting worse by the minuteš©·Iām committed to being here for yu- until yu get out of this temporary situation and afteršI want to be here for you.šI want to help.š©·yur so much more than what yu go throughšand thereās only so little youāve gotten to see.šyur life has value- Iām not gonna go on about "whoijsuhns youād be hurting so any people by doing this blahahaha youāre loved by a lot shnwiuyw" because I donāt know that. but I do know I love you- and I careš©·and to me- youāre so worth fighting foršluvly yu knuw it actually takes a lot to take sumone to the option of sewerslide. rightš? letās talk about what yur feelingš?/nfta.šbut Iām just worried about yu. you have strength within yu to overcome thisšyu knuw luvly me and my frend we made a thought out list together of things that made them happy/better in generalšfor anytime they were feeling lowšwe could do thatš? or we could create a safety plan for yuša personalized safety plan- designed for yušluvly- yu know Iām here right- and I love being here more than anythingš©·here for *you*šyu *c a n* get through this and yu totally willšand weāll do it togetheršI donāt at all want to make yu feel like- like itās that simple. itās not. life is so annoyingly complicated and *hard* :Pšitās not like Iām trying to tell yu "I can help you- you can be helped but youāre just doing this to yourself- Iām here- take it or leave it whisnhsniuns" yu donāt get how much I almost *hate* it when people do that :P like no- "take it or leave it" itās not that simple bubwqehbixqšsorry just remmebering sumthing- but I just want yu to know Iām here- if and when yur ready- Iād love to be as *here* as I can, and Iād love to listen and helpšluv yu <3š
;-;- *looks around to see who yur talking about*- šš*confuzzled*- meee???? T^Tšbruh I look like- I look like-ā¦.. idk what I look like but itās not prettyšIām one of a kindāØin theĀ worst way possiblešš»āØš¦šŗactually tho Iām so fluffling fuglyy T^Tšplus idk why I put those photos cos like that first one was my worst everšI was crying in it :3š©·alsoā¦TW caps but- WDYM you want my hair so badly omg look at YOUR HAIRššššYOUR HAIRS PERFECT AIGHAYFBUBAYUGB-šššššliterally SHUSH cos Iām offendedššššš/j/lh/lh
burden*Ā :')šit autocorrects for me too but. to the word gift is odd.škiloaf D:šI meant irl yu goofš©·/lhšofcourse I can call yu a good persunšthe best ever persunšwith the best ever soulšthat has goddesses for parentsā ļøā ļøšno cos actually what are yur genetics my godšš
škind peoples deserve all the kindness there is to offerššššš
hehe.ši mean by my dumb 7yo idea of jumping I couldāve just gotten badly injured- since I didnāt plan it that high up.šand I mean now I know- much- simpler TvT ways. to do that- no possible survival and instant- yu know- I should stop talkingš©·
smh.šI didnāt know burden could also autocorrect to someone :Pš©·but yus I agree.šthe way I burden the universe is v special :Pš¤sumthing no oneās ever seen before anajajajajaj XDš
š„ŗjust not okayš©·š„ŗdonāt simplify it all upš©·it matters and yu matterš
D: D: D: D: D: D: D:< eurghhhw*sgtsogyiusbo teachers not knowing how to do their jobbbb- throw aš„at them-
š„š„š„š„š„š„howš„dareš„youš„mistreatš„myš„friendš„sheāsš„notš„onlyš„gorgeousš„butš„sheāsš„alsoš„soš„smartš„andš„talentedš„andš„amazingš„andš„itāsš„aboutš„timeš„youš„startš„appreciatingš„herš„š„š„š„š„š„š„smhš„š„š„š„š„š„š„
awešI appreciate yu :3šbut I wouldnāt do that to youš©·Iām xD a lot xDš
awwwwešitās hard to believe :ā)šIām happy I know yuš©·
Iām on 3% so I had to summarize it up :PšI got through..154 months XDšwhy does that actually feel so littleā¦
also nvm I got a charger :3šIām here for you toošš/vvvv(vvvv)genš
kiemiluv do yu think we should make a forum :0š©·becos I know no one ever comes here cos yk..who cares xDš
but I also know sum of my ex friends just come here.šthey donāt upvote anything or talk or post they just show up and watch me say a bunch of depressing miserable emo stuff and they leave :Pš¤would yu feel better making a forum for just us two and nu lurkersšjust a thoughtš©·we talk a lot lmao :Pššššš»
im gonna end this here becos my dads gone and that gives me a chance to start..inhaling XDš©·
TW and becos I accidentally made myself bleed-
I started writing this at 3 and itās 6 now TvTšIām sorry for replying late in general.š©·I donāt mean to- itās just hard to find the time and energy to sumtimesšI luv yu (# I lost count-) <33štake care pleasešš
chokes-š¤three upvotes- ;-;š©·not me assuming itās a glitch- TvTšthen thereās other hoomanbeans getting 6+ upvotes on each one of their posts but. Itās still a lot for- *me*.-š
itās a glitch TvT-
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
I didnāt get a notification for any of them- smh cups.š©·
reveall yurselvessss/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/jšš~
š¤ I luv yu, glitch XDš¤
@iloveyouxx
ur so nice š„ŗ im gonna cry- šš i wish so badly you didn't have to feel this way... i wish i could be there when you cry so you could cry on my shoulder, i wish i could be there when you need a hug so you could hug me, i wish there was a word to ease all of your pain... you have worth and i see it, and im always here for you because i care <3 you're not just something to toy with and pretend to be nice to, i care because you're a person with feelings, and you're an amazing person for thatš©· trust me when i say it gets better, trust me when i say you have all the reasons to stay š/gen <3Ā
words cannot describe how thankful i am for your support nadialuv š„ŗš but reallyyy im not that worth fighting for <3 im js worried abt my littlwe sister is all š (well for the most part anyway)
I- noooo ur my one and only in the most gorgeous way a nadia can beš but if you want me to be *completely* honest, i'd say ur a 8/10 /genš which is still gorgeous, ofc. <3 dudeee... my hair is *soo* ugly fugly wugly, like, it's oily and dry and it takes like hoursss to put it in a freaking ponytail that looks decent. or *any* hairstyle that looks decent-Ā
u could never be a burden to meš©· oh- goddesses for parentsš ahaha i guess my mom is pretty but i- nooo im like an uglier version of her-
nope. (tw caps) NOPE. do not call yourself a burden >:( you are a gift... duh. <3 anyone can see that. š/gen <3
oh my gosh- why are you so funny- that literally made my day, the š„-
wow... they just watch you suffer like that ? that's just- wow-
a forum for us wuld be greatš©· <3
...accidentally made urself ...-Ā uhm okie hope u heal <3 sorry if that sounds a bit careless/dry- i swear im not trying to be š uuughhh im so bad at thisšš i genuinely hope all the best for u mentally and physically :') please keep that in mind <3
dont be sorry for replying lateee <3 i have no idea what ur timezone is soo... i get u too, but im always low on energy hehhE#WHSEWHIFsdcjhoews okay sorry im a bit chaotic.- I love you too N <3 you take care toooo š i wish so much more for you than i say, dont leave yet š (don't leave *ever*)Ā
sorry if this all sounds a bit brief, by the way, i pulled an all nighter cos of *** and stuff soo... ilysm š<3/gen /pĀ
@yyeyiiLy
I was just being genuineššI didnāt even put any thought to my reply I just :P how I feelāØwhat I thinkāØand it all reflected on what I said :DšI never fake care or lovešitās vvvvvvv hard to not luv yu :Pš©·yur too. luv-able :Pš
hey :0š! I spot a kiemibean trying to switch this on me :0š¤
smhhhh now i have to make this about myself again D:š©·/lhšsgyhagyhssyghhgwuyhssnjainatyehytw *attempts to switch this on your majesty*ški :3 kikiekeikeiekeiekekieke :3 I *love* your bio- sm :3š
"trust me when i say it gets better, trust me when i say you have all the reasons to stay š/gen <3" repeat it to yurself <3
D: D: D: D: D: take that back D: D: D: D: D: D: take it backššgo aheadā¦ā¦ā¦..
how could yu say yur not worth fighting forš¤§š©·yur the most fight-able for persun I knowš¤§švery made up terms-āØ
is yur little sister okie >:šdid sumthing happenš/nfta.š
notice how I slowly just canāt anymore. things no one else notices. but Iām just. trying.
bajajahahahhah -8* :Pš
now that I saw that clearer pfp yu had on earlier- :D I was convinced yu just took out a photo of sum gorgeous kpop idol TvT- and ready to go on a full rant about how fluffing *gorgeous* Iām tired but you broke the scale-
mm i dunnoššššša lot would disagreešš
awweš„š„
hehe.šIām gonna ignore this part becos I started crying :3 if okie.š
awe yay okie Iāll make it <3š
šššIām sorry. itās 5am and Iām just exhausted. </3 Iām sorry- I know you want to help (not really- (ā: )but I know you canāt. I know you try to act like you do but I know you canāt care. I was born to die later on sorry why am I still talking-
are you okay D: :cš©·I luv you morešš
:0 I noticed yu switched yur (*cough gorgeous*) pfp to a kittieš„ŗša vvvvvvvv cutuu and adorable kittie w a pretty background <3šš¾but yur prettiness canāt be compared to :ā)šcan I ask why yu switched it <3 or did yu just see a cutu kittie and wanted it as yur pfp :Pšš¾
I love you <3šššI have to leave for school soon :Pš©·take care <3š
@iloveyouxx
well- that just shows how nice ur sweet soul is š„ŗ *searches up for a word in the dictionary to sum up what i see in you* you are... nadia :0 that's the best word to describe you :0 and a very beautiful sounding word hehe š
š„ŗš„ŗ im trying. <3
in my lil forum post i made i think it has something small about my sis? āØš
trying is enough. im always here for you, please know that. <3 nobody suffers alone, right? i won't let that happen to you.
nupe more like +80000*
aaaahhh š„ŗ i appreciate you for saying that but i just can't believe you-
a lot *more* would agree
always okie to stick to what you're comfortable with nadialuv š
i'll be waiting :3 āØ
i may not be able to help you and i won't force you to see that i care, but i'll just stick with you because that's what friends do, right?Ā š
nope im never okayĀ but how can you possibly love me more when my love for you is so big it doesn't even fit in the universe šš„ŗ
i just saw a cutu kittie and wanted it hehe-
i love you too N <3 i hope your day isn't *too* bad this time š„ŗ