in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{I’m not even mad. I feel like I come off as mad a bit.}

_{in morel Ed there was a girl- which I’m not gonna refer to by anything rn. idk what was happening to her. maybe that’s rude-? just- I think it was hiccups but how dumb is that. she was just making a weird sound I guess. she covered her face but kept looking up to see everyone looking at her- I didn’t- because I didn’t want to make it worse since she could mostly see me covering her face. that annoying group of guys behind me were laughing a ton tho- shadow was behind me. they thought it was me which wtf? whatever. shadow told them to just not look at me but how do you not realize-.} 

_{he leaned back with his chair and held on my table. which like I’m tryna work so no this isn’t wattpad or ***}

_{we were meant to be fully silent cos our substitute is hella strict. so ofc he had to whisper right in my ear like really dude what’s next-}

_{im sorry but I still just. I hate him so much.}

he just asked where that sound was coming from. 

_{not wasting my voice on him so I just looked up at the girl.} 

_{I feel mean but I swear he’s so damn irritating and annoying-}

_{"oh it’s (hername)?"}

_{I just said yeah.} 

_{nd it doesn’t even end. god help me-}

_{talking about him makes me mad. I’m done with it.}

_{I still remember picture day.}

_nevermind.

im not willing to remind myself of that day.

_{more fitting.}

_{2 girls in my lead said they’d pay me to tell them about sum drama I’m an apparent witness of.}

_{that whole hour was them begging}

_{and me trying to say in the nicest gentlest way possible that I was told I couldn’t tell anyone what I saw and know. :’)}

_{that’s. new.}

_{Idk how he knew.}

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

Idk how he knew.

_screwed.

_{only good for the compliments.}

_{or just.}

_{knowing what makes them happy.}

_{how do you break something that’s already broken.}

_{you shatter it’s remaining pieces into dust.}

_{I’m so. alone.}

@yyeyiiLy

_{replying here if okie💗since the page the convo started in is starting to be pretty far back :0💕hard to find it- :P🩷}

_{(I’m sorry if I seem off. I’m just like dead inside aushqahajajjajiajaj XD🖤)}

_{:P I wish everyone’s pain upon myself :P./gen.💜no one deserves it.🤍I know it’s hard but I know I’m mentally strong and prepared enough to handle it.💜if I was suffering knowing i was helping sum in any way possible I’d suffer with a smile. but it’s not that simple.🩷I was gonna ignore that- "I’ll probably be gone soon anyways" :')💙because ignoring and avoiding is how I deny what I don’t want to hear or know.🩷but. that’d make yu think I just didn’t care.💜which- we all knuw is *beyond* far from the truth :D💖💖I love you sm- :') <3💗the loaf and care I have for yu is endless- like nyan cat :33🌈💖💖💖💖💓💓🎶🌈✨nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan✨🌈🎶}so I should say sumthing💗I knuw yur going through sum horrible things🩷struggling so much is so unfairly common now.💜generations change and people change and people- seem to be getting worse by the minute🩷I’m committed to being here for yu- until yu get out of this temporary situation and after💖I want to be here for you.💕I want to help.🩷yur so much more than what yu go through💗and there’s only so little you’ve gotten to see.💜yur life has value- I’m not gonna go on about "whoijsuhns you’d be hurting so any people by doing this blahahaha you’re loved by a lot shnwiuyw" because I don’t know that. but I do know I love you- and I care🩷and to me- you’re so worth fighting for💗luvly yu knuw it actually takes a lot to take sumone to the option of sewerslide. right💙? let’s talk about what yur feeling💗?/nfta.💕but I’m just worried about yu. you have strength within yu to overcome this💖yu knuw luvly me and my frend we made a thought out list together of things that made them happy/better in general💗for anytime they were feeling low💓we could do that💕? or we could create a safety plan for yu💖a personalized safety plan- designed for yu💗luvly- yu know I’m here right- and I love being here more than anything🩷here for *you*💖yu *c a n* get through this and yu totally will💕and we’ll do it together💓I don’t at all want to make yu feel like- like it’s that simple. it’s not. life is so annoyingly complicated and *hard* :P💜it’s not like I’m trying to tell yu "I can help you- you can be helped but you’re just doing this to yourself- I’m here- take it or leave it whisnhsniuns" yu don’t get how much I almost *hate* it when people do that :P like no- "take it or leave it" it’s not that simple bubwqehbixq😭sorry just remmebering sumthing- but I just want yu to know I’m here- if and when yur ready- I’d love to be as *here* as I can, and I’d love to listen and help💗luv yu <3💓

_{;-;- *looks around to see who yur talking about*- 👀💕*confuzzled*- meee???? T^T💜bruh I look like- I look like-….. idk what I look like but it’s not pretty😭I’m one of a kind✨in the worst way possible💃🏻✨🦕🕺actually tho I’m so fluffling fuglyy T^T💙plus idk why I put those photos cos like that first one was my worst ever😭I was crying in it :3🩷also…TW caps but- WDYM you want my hair so badly omg look at YOUR HAIR😭😭😭😭YOUR HAIRS PERFECT AIGHAYFBUBAYUGB-😭😭😭😭😭literally SHUSH cos I’m offended😭😭😭😭💗/j/lh/lh}

_{burden* :')💙it autocorrects for me too but. to the word gift is odd.💜kiloaf D:💓I meant irl yu goof🩷/lh💕ofcourse I can call yu a good persun💗the best ever persun💖with the best ever soul💓that has goddesses for parents☠️☠️💜no cos actually what are yur genetics my god😭💖}

_{💖kind peoples deserve all the kindness there is to offer💖🐛🐛🐛🐛}

_{hehe.💜i mean by my dumb 7yo idea of jumping I could’ve just gotten badly injured- since I didn’t plan it that high up.💙and I mean now I know- much- simpler TvT ways. to do that- no possible survival and instant- yu know- I should stop talking🩷}

_{smh.💜I didn’t know burden could also autocorrect to someone :P🩷but yus I agree.💙the way I burden the universe is v special :P🤍sumthing no one’s ever seen before anajajajajaj XD💕}

_{🥺just not okay🩷🥺don’t simplify it all up🩷it matters and yu matter💜}

_{D: D: D: D: D: D: D:< eurghhhw*sgtsogyiusbo teachers not knowing how to do their jobbbb- throw a🥖at them-}

_{🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖how🥖dare🥖you🥖mistreat🥖my🥖friend🥖she’s🥖not🥖only🥖gorgeous🥖but🥖she’s🥖also🥖so🥖smart🥖and🥖talented🥖and🥖amazing🥖and🥖it’s🥖about🥖time🥖you🥖start🥖appreciating🥖her🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖smh🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖}

_{awe💕I appreciate yu :3💕but I wouldn’t do that to you🩷I’m xD a lot xD💜}

_{awwwwe💓it’s hard to believe :’)💜I’m happy I know yu🩷}

_{I’m on 3% so I had to summarize it up :P💜I got through..154 months XD💙why does that actually feel so little…}

_{also nvm I got a charger :3💓I’m here for you too💕💕/vvvv(vvvv)gen💖}

kiemiluv do yu think we should make a forum :0🩷becos I know no one ever comes here cos yk..who cares xD💜

but I also know sum of my ex friends just come here.💙they don’t upvote anything or talk or post they just show up and watch me say a bunch of depressing miserable emo stuff and they leave :P🖤would yu feel better making a forum for just us two and nu lurkers💗just a thought🩷we talk a lot lmao :P💕💕💖💃🏻

im gonna end this here becos my dads gone and that gives me a chance to start..inhaling XD🩷

TW _{and becos I accidentally made myself bleed-}

_{I started writing this at 3 and it’s 6 now TvT💜I’m sorry for replying late in general.🩷I don’t mean to- it’s just hard to find the time and energy to sumtimes💙I luv yu (# I lost count-) <33💖take care please💗💕}

_{chokes-🤍three upvotes- ;-;🩷not me assuming it’s a glitch- TvT💜then there’s other hoomanbeans getting 6+ upvotes on each one of their posts but. It’s still a lot for- *me*.-💙}

_{it’s a glitch TvT-}

_{……………}

_{I didn’t get a notification for any of them- smh cups.🩷}

_{reveall yurselvessss/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j😭💗~}

_{🖤 I luv yu, glitch XD🖤}

@iloveyouxx

ur so nice 🥺 im gonna cry- 😭💕 i wish so badly you didn't have to feel this way... i wish i could be there when you cry so you could cry on my shoulder, i wish i could be there when you need a hug so you could hug me, i wish there was a word to ease all of your pain... you have worth and i see it, and im always here for you because i care <3 you're not just something to toy with and pretend to be nice to, i care because you're a person with feelings, and you're an amazing person for that🩷 trust me when i say it gets better, trust me when i say you have all the reasons to stay 💓/gen <3 

words cannot describe how thankful i am for your support nadialuv 🥺💜 but reallyyy im not that worth fighting for <3 im js worried abt my littlwe sister is all 💓 (well for the most part anyway)

I- noooo ur my one and only in the most gorgeous way a nadia can be💜 but if you want me to be *completely* honest, i'd say ur a 8/10 /gen💕 which is still gorgeous, ofc. <3 dudeee... my hair is *soo* ugly fugly wugly, like, it's oily and dry and it takes like hoursss to put it in a freaking ponytail that looks decent. or *any* hairstyle that looks decent- 

u could never be a burden to me🩷 oh- goddesses for parents💀 ahaha i guess my mom is pretty but i- nooo im like an uglier version of her-

nope. (tw caps) NOPE. do not call yourself a burden >:( you are a gift... duh. <3 anyone can see that. 💕/gen <3

oh my gosh- why are you so funny- that literally made my day, the 🥖-

wow... they just watch you suffer like that ? that's just- wow-

a forum for us wuld be great🩷 <3

...accidentally made urself ...-  uhm okie hope u heal <3 sorry if that sounds a bit careless/dry- i swear im not trying to be 😭 uuughhh im so bad at this😭😭 i genuinely hope all the best for u mentally and physically :') please keep that in mind <3

dont be sorry for replying lateee <3 i have no idea what ur timezone is soo... i get u too, but im always low on energy hehhE#WHSEWHIFsdcjhoews okay sorry im a bit chaotic.- I love you too N <3 you take care toooo 💕 i wish so much more for you than i say, dont leave yet 💜 (don't leave *ever*) 

sorry if this all sounds a bit brief, by the way, i pulled an all nighter cos of *** and stuff soo... ilysm 💓<3/gen /p 

@yyeyiiLy

I was just being genuine😭💕I didn’t even put any thought to my reply I just :P how I feel✨what I think✨and it all reflected on what I said :D💓I never fake care or love💗it’s vvvvvvv hard to not luv yu :P🩷yur too. luv-able :P💗

hey :0💜! I spot a kiemibean trying to switch this on me :0🤍

smhhhh now i have to make this about myself again D:🩷/lh💕sgyhagyhssyghhgwuyhssnjainatyehytw *attempts to switch this on your majesty*💖ki :3 kikiekeikeiekeiekekieke :3 I *love* your bio- sm :3💗

"trust me when i say it gets better, trust me when i say you have all the reasons to stay 💓/gen <3" repeat it to yurself <3

D: D: D: D: D: take that back D: D: D: D: D: D: take it back😭💜go ahead………..

how could yu say yur not worth fighting for🤧🩷yur the most fight-able for persun I know🤧💗very made up terms-✨

is yur little sister okie >:💕did sumthing happen💕/nfta.💕

_{notice how I slowly just can’t anymore. things no one else notices. but I’m just. trying.}

bajajahahahhah -8* :P💜

now that I saw that clearer pfp yu had on earlier- :D I was convinced yu just took out a photo of sum gorgeous kpop idol TvT- and ready to go on a full rant about how fluffing *gorgeous* I’m tired but you broke the scale-

mm i dunno🐛🐛🐛🐛💕a lot would disagree🐛💕

awwe🥖🥖

hehe.💜I’m gonna ignore this part becos I started crying :3 if okie.💜

awe yay okie I’ll make it <3💕

🐛🐛🐛I’m sorry. it’s 5am and I’m just exhausted. </3 I’m sorry- I know you want to help (not really- (‘: )but I know you can’t. I know you try to act like you do but I know you can’t care. I was born to die later on sorry why am I still talking-

are you okay D: :c🩷I luv you more💓💗

:0 I noticed yu switched yur (*cough gorgeous*) pfp to a kittie🥺💜a vvvvvvvv cutuu and adorable kittie w a pretty background <3💕🐾but yur prettiness can’t be compared to :’)💖can I ask why yu switched it <3 or did yu just see a cutu kittie and wanted it as yur pfp :P💗🐾

I love you <3💗💗💕I have to leave for school soon :P🩷take care <3💓

@iloveyouxx

well- that just shows how nice ur sweet soul is 🥺 *searches up for a word in the dictionary to sum up what i see in you* you are... nadia :0 that's the best word to describe you :0 and a very beautiful sounding word hehe 💗

🥺🥺 im trying. <3

in my lil forum post i made i think it has something small about my sis? ✨😊

trying is enough. im always here for you, please know that. <3 nobody suffers alone, right? i won't let that happen to you.

nupe more like +80000*

aaaahhh 🥺 i appreciate you for saying that but i just can't believe you-

a lot *more* would agree

always okie to stick to what you're comfortable with nadialuv 💗

i'll be waiting :3 ✨

i may not be able to help you and i won't force you to see that i care, but i'll just stick with you because that's what friends do, right? 💕

nope im never okay  but how can you possibly love me more when my love for you is so big it doesn't even fit in the universe 😭🥺

i just saw a cutu kittie and wanted it hehe-

i love you too N <3 i hope your day isn't *too* bad this time 🥺

he’s gone.

@iloveyouxx

*sits with u in silence* <3

_{I swear I’m so tired}

_{Im so tired.}