Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

in the wonders of my mindšŸ’—.

iloveyouxx March 17th

hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnā€™t look like mešŸ§makes sense doesnā€™t itšŸ˜›since there can only be one *me*āœØone of a kind now arent IšŸ˜/sar. one out of 8118835999āœØšŸŒ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youā€™re also one of a kindšŸ’– sorrysorry haha :PšŸ¤im just messing around xDšŸ’žalso itā€™s 2am- but shush no snitchingšŸ¤«Iā€™ll sleep in a whilešŸ˜when Iā€™m feeling a bit more sane :>šŸ˜›šŸ©·

wanted to have my own space.šŸ’œ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.šŸ’™

to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šŸ’œplease dont lurk here.šŸ©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šŸ’™but please be respectfulšŸ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :PšŸ’› yā€™all get crazy nosy haha- itā€™s alright.šŸ’›nothing too interesting will be here anywayšŸ’›if you would like to come in and be supportive itā€™s completely okiešŸ’›but please donā€™t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšŸ’›because Iā€™d still like this to be just my space ^-^šŸ’›)

peach-and-goma.gif

3948
iloveyouxx OP May 7th

I got home late.Ā 

for Iā€™m pretty sure the third time ever.-

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

one was an hour after school detention ( I literally didnā€™t do anything- )

second was when I actually had friends(ikr itā€™s wild-)and they made me stay after school until my full name got called in a microphone to go down to reception- where it pretty much got..a lot- but I didnā€™t care. It was just some random seniors and it didnā€™t matter

and now I just. Iā€™m lost.

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

after school detention is horrifying.Ā 

I was really new to the school and it was my first year of secondary where we had to find our classes- it was so much more complicated tho. it didnā€™t say things like "math" itā€™d say things like "S082"-?

there are so many and the numbers arenā€™t even in order. thereā€™re 6 big staircases and some others and just the whole school is huge in general- when I was being introduced to the whole school it was so much I thought we were already outside it at some point because there was no possible way all that was still just one school..?

standards cards are so unfair. uniform, 'corridor conduct', makeup, missing equipment, late to lesson, swearing- I forgot the rest-

late to lesson in 3 on a standard card and if you get 5 teacher signatures thatā€™s an after school detention.

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

I told my only friend at the time (whoā€™s now expelled for attempted murder and getting sum stuff to school but whatever-) that it was just all guys there and she wasnā€™t surprised.

"whatā€™re you in for?"

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP May 7th

tw.

load more
iloveyouxx OP May 7th

they thought it was funny that I was "in for" a full standard card.

whyā€™re they so scary tho-

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

It was- peaceful. today.

I came home late but no one cared. I used to come at 3:07 and my family would give me a whole lecture. thatā€™s when I first tw shā€™d but whatever.Ā 

idk why I hate the idea sm tho. every time someone assumes I do I do anything I can to prove that I donā€™t. which- I donā€™t. :ā€™). it doesnā€™t do anything. for me at least.

that hometime sound goes off at 3:05 for non bus students but teachers still choose to dismiss us late either way.

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

I just hid for a while. In the english girlā€™s bathroom- everyone skips there.Ā 

I left pe at 2:50 cos thatā€™s when bus students leave but pe teachers never notice because- they donā€™t memorize whoā€™s bus ofc like what- and thereā€™re way too many of us to notice. 3sets in one lesson-

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

then I just. well first I went to my arabic class cos I forgot my water bottle and my teacher just threw it next to the garbage bin on the floor like really-

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

there was a little girl in her class :ā€™) I just said excuse me cos she was clearly distracted and I couldnā€™t find my water bottle- but she just kept looking at her ipad so I said nevermind-

i accidentally said "sheā€™s so cute" out loud becauseā€”

im not horrible right now. I mean. Iā€™m- Iā€™ve gotten in such a bad state where I just canā€™t :3 I lost my voice- idk how it happens- I canā€™t smile and my eyes are half open. I just have a dead look to me.Ā 

I love doing things for people more than anyone. I shut down but Iā€™m not the type of person to shut down and "stop being able to love" or care.Ā 

I just try. and donā€™t say itā€™s enough I know itā€™s not. (you werenā€™t gonna say that you donā€™t care Iā€™m just talkative Iā€™m sorry-)Ā 


(Iā€™m sorry-)

iloveyouxx OP May 7th

god how irritating can you get.-