in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{"stop crying its not the end of the world if she’s talking about you"}

"she" wasn’t talking about me. she was a girl I’ve never spoken to before in my year group. that told everyone I grabbed her by the collar and went psycho on her. shockingly I didn’t. never even had an interaction w her. "she"s said a bunch of other stuff too. also werent true. but they spread all the way to primary secondary and senior. and I lost all my friends. but that person was right- it’s not the end of the world.

_{I’m so tired.}

_{I swear this world is so damn *** up.}

_6am. 

_{I’m not allowed to leave the house until exactly 7:20.}

_{at school.}

hihi @yyeyiiLy 🩷so- I realized that obv you were the one upvoting all my posts <3 I thought it was my friend. because she was online for a long time and she’d get tagged here but I guess even she can’t be bothered to check on me anymore :')💜an ex best friend used to come on here and talk/support and upvote all my posts the way you did🩷but- were not friends anymore and since then this space made me feel horrible. It’s just really lonely and no one ever comes here the way I see them go and support on other spaces💙not even the people that promised they’d visit or come here often🤍I think you could tell I wasn’t the best :')🩷and the way you were there even without saying anything is sumthing that I appreciate so much💖I don’t know you💜if you’re new to cups or anything because I checked forums and you were never tagged before🤍but I just wanted you to know your v little nice things make big impacts :3 <3💕I hope you get this tag and nfta. my class is just being noisy so might as well xD🩷love you anonymous friend💕

@iloveyouxx
omgg ur so so sweet 😖💕 im super glad to hear all this yk✨ and im sorry for your ex friend T^T things just suck a lot sometimes don't they... brighter days are here to come🩷 oh! and im not sure if my recent upvotes are getting through because when i try to heart one of your posts it just shows a sad blue lil heart with the number 0 next to it :(( but just know im always here and supporting you even though you dont know me🥰 sending love and hearts your way 💛

@yyeyiiLy

:000 you repliedddd💖I didn’t expect you to honestly🩷so so sweet🥺💓? I was trying to act normal and not get attached to someone I’ve never talked to before xD💕a lot sometimes haha :')💜true💙I think the only brighter days I’ll ever get is by turning on the lights :')💜or opening the curtains in daytime- I don’t have brighter days aahjajaja xD🩷I’ll be forever helpless✨hehe lemme explain that :3 so :3 cups decided to put a heart limit😭and limit the love😭basically you get a specific amount of upvotes but it’s for different people- same amount but like :0 I’m not sure what the limit is but let’s say it’s 30 :0 so if you upvoted 30 of my posts and like 12 of someone elses- you’d still be able to upvote their posts but now that you’ve reached that limit for me you wouldn’t be able to upvote anything by me anymore🤍sad blue lil heart🥺💙I wish they didn’t limit the love hehe💕but o well :P🩷that means a lot to me💖💞yur honestly so sweet <3 btwwwww hehe who’s in the pfp cos omggee they so prettyyyy shshsjsjjsjewjedixdwjkwdeuieduji😭💓💓I was gonna go insane out of how so fricking gorgeous🤧💖and compliment yu but I’m not actually sure who it is hehe xD💗they’re so beautiful tho my god <3💖💖im kinda scared of getting attached now wkwjhsjw T^T💜I still love yu tho friend <3 what would yu like me to call yu :0💗(*gets hopes up and pushes them down again* T^T💙)

@iloveyouxx
you dont think you have brighter days anymore? 😭 sweetie dont ever say that💕 there is a balance between good and bad🫶 and when you have lived your very worst days, if you get through it all you will be rewarded with the best days of your life✨ and i speak through experience :') hehe- but at least try to get through all the tough days that are going to come and all the tough days that already have come💜 thank you for sharing that info with me about the upvotes btww 🥺 and it's me in the pfp ahaha no one's ever told me i look gorgeous or pretty in such a sincere manner😭💕 please dont ever get scared of getting attached to me🩷 but I do understand if it takes time ! I love you too and I'll try to be here for you a lot <3💛 aaanndddd- you can call me Kiemi or Ki ^^ 

@yyeyiiLy

hm nu hehe- I don’t think it :3 I knuw it :3💜I don’t know friend🩷not for me I guess :P💕my situations pretty- unique xD T^T💙I won’t get out of the tough days I don’t think🤍

whatttt😭do people not understand✨*masterpiece*✨when they see it😭😭🩷and I turned up my brightness and zoomed in and ahwjhdjsjsheina😭you’re so pretty my god😭💖even thu yur phones covering most of yur face (yur phone case is vvv pretty btw hehe :P💓) I can still tell you’re soooo gorgeoussss eurgh why don’t I look like that😭are your parents like..goddesses or sumthingg T^T💖? your hairstyles so perfect and your eyes are so bootiful and you’re just so pretty ajajkajjwhwusbs😭I wish I looked like you smh TvT💞/gen💓

hehe its just that I get attached a lot and always end up getting hurt :'P💜so I distance myself from everyone but gosh you’re just an angel🥺💖/lh💕I just feel like everyone I know even on here’s just :') they’d always say something. proving they’re just. the exact same. :')💙you genuinely seem so sweet tho💗you remind me of someone for sum reasun :P🤍tho at the same time I know I’ve never ever met anyone everrr as *gorgeoussss* as you are😭💖maybe like a movie or sumthing :0🩷or a model :P💖friend this is random but can I ask why yu joined cups :0💞or how yu found it :3 just curious heh🤍

you don’t have to🩷🥺I’m hard to put up with heh :'P💜I want to be here for you too💞<33/gen

kiemi/ki✨🥺I love those💓/gen💕ahhhh I’m indecisive they’re both so cute I can’t pick😭💜maybe I’ll just- figure that out w the convo lol :3💖

@iloveyouxx

you have to just ✨believe✨ that it'll get better my love <3🩷 but I understand it's hard , just consider it okie?🥰 

thankuuu i really cannot believe how nice your beautiful soul is 😭🥺 i dont have that many people as kind as you in my life💛 but oh well *** im not worth their time :') <3 but seriously im not as gorgeous as u think dear😭 most of my pics- actually, it's all of my pics- i cover my face/mouth TvT because i just cant stand the look of it :( 🩷 please dont ever wish to look like me😭 im sure you're already so much more prettier 🥺<3 you just dont know it yet💕

sorry to hear that you end up hurt when you get attached😭 but there are so much people out there for you , just give them a chance and let them in💜 you never know who's right for you until you try :D <3 your comments about how gorgeous you think i am is just 💓💓 it makes me heart melt like omg🥺 how can someone as nice as you exist🥺/gen💕 <3 

i joined cups because i just need to find people who are there for me... yk? I don't know 😭 i can be so confusing... <3 and i feel embarrassed to say what i want to people in real life , idk why T^T i usually just say what they wanna hear and then everyone's happi ✨ (except for me wiweojdfewjowi🥺)) there's like only one person irl who i can freely talk to 🩷 but anyway... back to answering your questions and enough about my ✨issues✨ <3 i found it from a social med post lol <3 

ahha it's ok 💓 you have as much time as you want to decide 💕 im literally fine with anything!! <3 but what can I call u?? not sure if you want me to give u nicknames like 'dear" or 'love' XD🩷 honestly i feel so old when i call someone dear... and ur prob older than me💀 

@yyeyiiLy

ajwhahahahwj I’m sorryyyyyy friend T^T I replied before I left for school and it didn’t sent- then it logged me out so it’s all gone :') give me a minute to reply again💖

@iloveyouxx
no worries 💕<3

@yyeyiiLy

_{(yur upvote sends a (slight- :P) sense of okie in me🩷tytttt to replyy :3💖/gen I’ll wait💕but :P not too- wait-y- so- you don’t have to rush XD💖)}

@iloveyouxx

okay this made me laugh XD 💕

@yyeyiiLy

🩷I try <3

I’m only being honest😭💕awwwwe >: >:🩷people..are such strange species lmao :')💜I don’t get them. or. how they could be so purposely cruel to others. and sleep at night. smiling. :')💙kilovely🥺🩷you’re worth all the time in the world🥺💖/gen💕I swear tho like :') I feel like you deserve so much more than whatever you’re getting right now🩷yu own such a beautiful soul <3🌈💖and yu make me feel better💗

not as gorgeous as I think😭?can’t stand the look of you >:💜gosh lovely do you compare yourself to those alien beauty standards😭you’re literally so pretty- you know what subliminals are? your face would probably be put in one of those- I bet everyone’s secretly obsessing and jealous😭they all envying you so maybe why they don’t use their time w you is cos they just wish they were you :P🩷sad people cover it up with evil sumtimes. or just- insecure people put others down sumtimes too- make themselves feel better sumhow :P💙I genuinely do tho😭I wish I looked like you😭you’re drop dead gorgeous like bro why and how are people so*✨*😭I would definitely look twice if I crossed by you irl :P like- "wait what-"😭💖then I’d probably stand across you with my✨anxiety✨and try to get myself to compliment you calmly aushakjaja xD💗

nuuuu I’m really not😭no one can be compared to you in general- but I’m like hahashasxhxsaj :')🩷I took a bunch of photos of myself at school today after reading this- then turned up the noise reduction to the maximum (to make it blurry :P) and now I just look like AI😭I swear I literally look like ai😭and without the blurring I just- idk :P🩷I can show you tho XD I’d just send a link and make it expire after you see it :P💙so it can’t be opened after💜I just have to crop my school logo XD but really I’m not at all prettier than you💗

awe but friend I don’t think there is. I mean :P I’ve let a lot of people in💜and I can’t anymore :') I really don’t get hoomans kiemi :')💙

nu I understand :0🩷yur issues matter too🥺💕I’d love to listen to yu >:🩷talking freely and venting or ranting💜you deserve to have better hoomans in yur world🥺💗

XDDDDDDDD "come on deary com’ here👵🏻" sorry - I feel weird rn lol XD

nah I’m not heh☠️💜I’m the youngest you can be on cups xD🩷I dunno how old yu are tho :0💓but my birthdays august 15 2010 :P💕

I’m at lunch rn :0💕at school- 

i wanna go on caps but like I’m so happy cos my swimming teacher forgot to sign my planner😭so that makes 4 swimming lessons left which I can just get the signatures- term3 is 12weeks- in my school if you don’t reach a standard you get a teacher signature in your standards card and there were 6 swimming lessons this term which Im not doing :P first got cancelled and this time the teacher forgot😭she asked for my planner and just completely forgot and she was even signing some and giving them back and was like yeah that’s the last of it like omg she forgot😭but yus I’m relieved hehe :P💜

i have french after this- ttylllllll💖💖

@iloveyouxx

i dont get it either😭 but some people just dont... care. i mean, they have like 70-80 years ahead and im like, only a teeny unimportant part of their life. So why would they care- 

whaaatttt nono i *swear* if you really saw my face u would change your mind in a flash-😭 i only look good in a ponytail ..:((

nope✨ you cannot change my mind💕 im sure the moment i see you i will be all 😱🥺😭💓💓 cos of your beauty /gen🩷 <3 but i guess i cant argue with her majesty😞/lh 💕

that's alright, i wont force you to do anything💛 but just *know* there are people for you, trust me i know✨ right when i thought i wanted everything to end this amazing🥺 human popped into my life and he is literally a dream😭 way out of my league💀 and i didnt know it at first but all he wanted was my trust, and eventually i let him in, and he really did listen to me and care like no one else tried to do💓 so maybe you dont believe me when i tell you that there are people for you😞 but then what am i🥺 am i just a dream you see every night😭 i am a human and I am here for you, always💕

im pretty sure i dont deserve anything less :P maybe this is karma for existing 💕

that's not that bad of an age difference ✨ im just 4 months older lollll <3 i can be the best big sister you never had :0 or maybe you did have one... idk- 

at my school, lunch is purely chaotic💀 and i totally dont join in on the chaos just to fit in <3 XD

oop you dont like swimming? me either tho- i really dont get why i have to swim when im not gonna go anywhere near a large body of water anyway-

sorry btwww this is kinda brief because im like 5 minutes late to my class now but who cares not me✨ ok actually i do kinda care but i dont like that class anyway and ur wayy more important than some class i didnt sign up for-

hope u had fun in french💓 and now I gotta gooo lolll🥺💕 ttyl as well <3

@yyeyiiLy

sum people also…suck :P :D I mean yuh like most of us have 60-80 years ahead of us- but how bout they don’t- yk- waste those years being horrible hoomans :P?🩷just a suggestion TvT💜?? I care🥺💖I swear I do tho💗you mean so much to me and I wish I could take all your hurt and transfer it all on me🩷you really deserve none of it😞💜

noooo your pfp literally shows your hair omigod it’s so purfect😭I loaf the haircut sm😭💖kiiilovelyyy🥺you’re literally so pretty like bro you should be confidentttt😭🥺💖if I saw your face I’d scream. :P I can barely see yu through the pfp and you’re literally so gorgeous what the flufffff😭😭💖💖don’t denyyy itttt🥺💗i swear you’re so pretty tho💓💓

😭😭nuuuuu- eugh smhhhhh/lh I’ll prove yu wrong hehe give me a minute :P💜

really tho there arent :')🩷I bring out the worst in people- they see me- I look like an easy target- they make my impossible life even more impossible :D 

are you kidding😭way outta your league?☠️bruh no one’s outta your league😭I bet they all begging for you😭🩷he sounds so amazing tho💖

awwwwe🥺💓🩷💖💕💓💗🩷💖(I couldn’t pick which one T^T✨) yur an amazing hooman💓irl we’re (I’m✨) just fighting for our(my✨)lives(life✨) :')💜

what🥺don’t say that🥺😞💙you’re a gift💖💎your existence- it’s a gift💗the fact I met you before I left is just incredible💓💓you light up my soul💖I’m so grateful for you <3 you’re so beautiful inside out <3🩷

ouuu I’m not the only teenie :0💜4months isn’t a big age difference :00💕hehe I never had one- you’d make the best big sister ever💗

huh su you do or you don’t XD🩷?

yus :P like I’m not gonna *be* in a *pool* with my *classmates/people in my year group* in a *swimming suit* T^T💙eugh idek why we have to do it at all- :P💜

awwe I am :')💖? hope teacher doesn’t ask why you were late or sumthing :0🩷teachers get on my nerves heh :P💜

i didn’t XD infact I broke my record of not crying at school XD then ran to the bathroom and broke down ajajhahahahjajsjakajhaja XDD

hope yu have fun tho💓<3

@iloveyouxx

noooo whatt🥺 i would never let you transfer all my hurt to yourself 😤 you dont deserve it not even for half a second 😭

u can never prove me wrong ahewrjsd3wes u are most likely a princess ✨i swear the moment i see you i will get down on my knees and bow💓

i wish i was there with you irl so i could give you irl hugs and comfort and drive all the bad people away so you can see how much good people there are😭😭 it literally breaks my heart to know you suffer like this😭 </3 you deserve every good thing in the world, you deserve every kind heart there is💕/gen<3 

yeahh a gift for the grave✨ but wdym before you left😭 u cant leave so young :((( i dont want the most amazing person in my life to disappear...😭😭 /gen 

oh nus u cried?? im here if u wanna talk , friend 💓 funny coincidence, i cried too XDD isnt that crazy- and no i didnt have fun :( i hate that class honestly the teacher is so strict and mean. 😞

i really hope you're feeling better by the time you read this 💕 <3

@yyeyiiLy

im su sorry D:🩷I’m so late >:💜

but you don’t deserve it either😭I’d take it all for the rest of my life if it meant yu didn’t have to go through it🥺💓<3/gen💗I wish it were that easy :')💖

smhhhhh okie but expect the worst :P/gen/takeitseriously T^T🩷

https://picallow.com/aghuksghiusiutysi/?usp_success=2&post_id=314498&form_id=27

mhm :')🩷I’ve never met a good persun. genuinely :')💜whatever I might deserve are things I’ll never get :P💕issokiieeee :'P💜

D: nuuuuu don’t say thattttt😭😞💔a gift to the world💖💎omg people should literally be so *g r a t e f u l l* to even be around yur presence T^T💗🕴️/vvvvvvgen💓💎

mmmmm :')🩷I wanted to *leave✨* when I was 7. I had dumb ideas tho. TW like jumping :P what a dumb idea :P that way there was a possibility that-….i should stop talking about that :D💜

nuu I’m not😭I’m just sumone :P *✨~deletes paragraph~✨*💗

yur so sweet💗what nuuu not funny😭💖why’d yu cryy D:😞💓eurgghhhhh I hate teachers :P🤍bruh all the teachers here are just so… :>>>>>>>>>>…they’re so damn miserable in their toxic relationships they can’t stand to see us (me✨) do sumthing other than be the lonely loner you always were at the back of the class. I swear I’m so targeted all the time I don’t get it T^T🤍I literally get the best marks. and no not for my class :P for 2 year groups above me- what I get is basically- the highest you could ever get from year11-13 and I’m in year8😭and I don’t talk or disrupt or talk back or be disrespectful or loud or any of that. but literally if sumone asks me for a pen or sumthing I’m immediately so targeted shysnej T^T💜but issokie- not gonna rant on yu💙

hehe I’m a lot worse :3🩷yu hoping I’m better is sumthing I’m grateful for tho <3💖

I have to go for moral ed- take care💗

@iloveyouxx

no worries 💕

^{eh it'll pass for me 🩷 i'll probably be gone soon anyways... <3 :') 💜please just try for me <3 never wish someone's pain upon yourself!!}

^{nadiaaa u are so so pretty. not even joking rn- i am serious. *puts on a very serious face for you* <3 i want your hair so badlyyy.... T^T}

^{well you've met me :3 (if you can even call me good...) i wish so badly i could just give you everything you deserve... like just press a button and *boom* you have everything you need. you are more than a gift to the world, you are a gift to *everyone* and the *universe*.} 

^{thank you so much for your kindness 🥺💕}

^{mm i wouldn't say anything you think is dumb or stupid. 😭}

yes you are Someone. You are my Someone, a very special Someone. you are the universe's Someone, the literal definition of a Gift to All. 💕/gen <33

im not trying to be sweet, im just being genuine and real🩷 <3 you dont need to know why i crieddd im just not okay (ahahha) for *real* teachers are just too much for me 😭 they only see my fails and not my improvement, my growth, or my success.

you shouldn't be targeted😭 you shouldn't be treated like this.. at all. you can rant on me any time, i won't mind 💕 i'll listen to everything and i'll care. 💜

can i do anything to help you?... i hate to see you so broken... i really do care about you, friend, all my feelings are genuine, i hope you know it 💓<3

you take care too <3 remember you'll get through all these bad things, ok? you got through like 13 years or smt already. you can get through another decade and even more. always here for you💕

_{shadow got a haircut.-}

_{I don’t get it when people are nice to me.}

_{when someone’s nice to me I just assume it’s cos they’re dying soon or smth.}

@iloveyouxx

Kinda alive here, friend!😛

I'll be nice to you from *beyond* as well! XD 

And then we'll conspire a theory that not all ghostiees are bad ghostiees, some are a lil sunny 😮 and that a certain Nadiabeanie deserves nicenessssss from everyone alive or ghostiee!💗

_.

_{I’m so tired.}

_{a totally random question. would you care if I died? if I just couldn’t put up with this *** up world where all we ever do is try to survive. if I just couldn’t put up with school and the *** it’s done to me. if I couldn’t put up with all these memories locked in my mind and all the experiences that arent gonna end. would you care? if I just. put some things together. and slowly left it all.}

_{it was a rhetorical question.}

_{i swear I give up.}

@iloveyouxx 

i would. <3

@justmeeva

_{:') awe. <3 idk.} 

_🩷

@iloveyouxx 

i know you may have doubts about it or it might not be that big of a deal, and i know it’s not gonna take the pain or want for a break away, but i do mean it. i would care. i do care. 🩷

@justmeeva

_{nu. it would help.💜and sorry but it’s not a break. I don’t even feel like apologizing atp it’s more like "you’re welcome-"💙I don’t want to say anything that- i dunno :P it’s not like i would’ve said anything bad🩷but I’m not really sure I can genuinely believe it lovely :')🩷}

_{I mean :P I dont want to sound.- whatever I come off as💜but really what would happenconsider you as one of my closest friends. but I know that doesn’t always go both ways.} 

I feel like this whole post is irritating-

im sorry.🩷

_{I’m shutting off inside atp. It’s not like I’m gonna talk about myself forever- just ignore this if you’d like <3}

@iloveyouxx 

it’s your space. it’s made by you, for you to talk. and i’m always happy to listen. you, ni, eyes - the corner buddies lol, are my closest friends. notice the “you” in it? yeah, remember that 🩷 i’m just hoping to keep you for as long as i can. because you’re awesome. even when you’re struggling. even when you’re exhausted from life. you’re still awesome. and you’re still my friend. and i still love you. always. no matter what. you can always tag me if you want to talk. or literally just sit together in silence. just.. company. i never have anything against that. you deserve to not feel alone. even if you don’t feel like it.  

and.. i feel like you need this more.

_{sometimes I think. why do we actually try to survive? why does it matter-?? it doesn’t matter. literally nothing *** matters. telling me to not give up is exactly equivalent to telling me to be set on agonizing myself for the next 70 years.}

_{everyone’s so damn simple. they’re literally all the same. I just don’t understand.}

_{I swear I want someone to kill me so bad.}

_graffiti.