in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{"there’s only so much a counselor could do"}

_{my counselor said if *whaiebsoa just my symptoms :p* then my anxiety has reached a whole other level of severity and stuff}

_{he said I couldn’t be seeing him.}

_{and that I needed to visit a doctor.}

 _{notice the "he" nd "him" part :D}

_{the "symptoms" were just loss of vision nd blacking out and stuff like that-}

_{It’s literally nothing. I kinda know it’s not nothing but it’s not that big to the point of a doctor-}

_{is it…? :')}

_{I dunno. I just didn’t like my counselor.}

_{well- didn’t like is an understatement :p}

_{he had *such* bad anger issues oh my godd :') I’d be crying and asking him to please stop yelling.-}

and. a bunch of other stuff. that I won’t mention _:'P

_{I think my pfps fitting alr.-}

_{It’s so lonely here.}

_{"who requires swimming?! in high school? what a disaster! I would quit high school if I had to do that, don't high schoolers have enough to stress about then getting in a pool with everyone ew and no, thats horrible, I am so so very sorry about that, school is super stressful friend, im wrapping up my semester too and there so many assignments and requirements, its a lot, but lets put together a list of what has to be done, and plan it out what day we gonna work on each, is that something that might be helpful for you? I know that If I have a physical list hanging out I will start to cross things out and it helps with my motivation, sometimes, the hardest part is starting I know, I believe in you friend, you are going to do your best, you are gonna try your best to study, and its going to be enough to pass, I know you smart and capable of finishing out and getting across the finish line, there only so much time in the rest of the year, so we gonna have to cut some corners and focus more on others, but you can get there, all we have to is successfully cross it, I hear you about cups friend, I remember the golden days of cups too, when everyone was kind and caring and your best friend, now there seems to be drama and conflict and pain and its just not the same anymore, its hard to adjust to the change, and be happy here, it really hurts when you feeling alone and that everyone here is fake, everyone trying to find their way and its hard friend it really is, I know I get overly attached to the people here too, you rely on them but if they leave cups or betray you gosh its painful, there’s not alot of love and acceptance in this world and when you finally find it you grab onto it for dear life, it sucks when you start to see the other side of things, aw im sorry no one comes to your forum space, why dont you tag me! I would love to see your threads, and be more involved in supporting in forums, it would be fun, I know it hurts tho if you see everyone else getting support and you are not receiving any, it hurts deep, but you are worthy and deserve support friend, offers shoulder to cry on, its hard when we cry so much and no more talk and self isolate, and feel so alone and just sad and gone, why have they been leaving you? im sorry they leave you I know it must be devastating and heartbraking for you, I have seen how much you care about your friends here, I am a bit jealous of how good you support people, and how kind and loving you are to everyone, not jealous just really looked up to you for long time, and I know others do too, love you dont have to shut up, I am here, I am happy to listen I love getting to talk to friend. you are never a bother or burden, this is always a safe place to vent, I hear you friend, sometimes our life seems really pointless, and that we are just surviving not living not enjoying this life, and its hard to just get through the day, friend what makes you think you have nothing to offer? sometimes we cant see ourselves in a clear and realistic perspective, we kind of self critical of self, im so so sorry about your counselor they supposed to help not create more trauma and mistrust and im so so sorry that happened, im sorry that people did that, it hurts when you trust anyone even little and they go behind back its not helpful, and especially if it not something that you done, oh gosh those are so hurtful, those are not good things to be passed around, nobody should be talking like that about you , oh friend hugs if okie, that is not fair, people are so mean and hurtful, oh gosh that is scary that happened and horrible when people don’t believe you, that hurts much, I am incredibly sorry about what your dad did, that is very personal, and not something I know you talk about often, thanks for trusting me, I know its hard to talk about it, and you probably haven't told anyone in real life, and I know how scary it is thinking of the possibility of others knowing, gosh teachers are so *** stupid. love you are not bad, this person has there own issues, I would sit next to you and be partner, people are confusing and complex, love I think you are so sweet and caring and I have zero idea why people would do this, I would be like its something going on with them not you, I can totally understand why you would be at breaking point and feel not like you and just be broken right now, those are valid feelings and something that I would feel too, I know you try so hard so very hard, and people keep being jerks and lying and not being good people back, I hear how broken and depressed and full of self hate you feeling right now, and how long its been since you felt happy, not eating is not good love, when was the last time you ate? you don't deserve that kind of punishment, friend you are not a failure, you are struggling to find your way right now, and it is painful, people are weird they do find much joy in their gossip and making fun of others pain they don't often see its impact, they don't see the incredible pain they cause others, friend you are not wasting my time, I love getting to chat with you, im just slow sloth typer and want to make sure you have the space to vent and share, I am listening tho, love you are not those things, friend I hear how much pain you are in, its okie to be negative, its okie to be suicidal, those are valid feelings and valid things we go through, and they suck, I have been there too, but you not alone through that. I might have a few crisis web chat things, because I used to be in the same situation, and its really hard (what country are you in?), I know that they are not helpful and they can make you feel worst, ugh sometimes the listeners here are awful, you cant go into the general queue with out getting a newbie or someone who has other intentions, I can pass you some names of listeners I use that are half way decent, im sorry you have had people give up on you, im sorry that dad no take your mental health seriously, these are serious concerns and feelings you are going through, im so so sorry he didn’t respond to care about those messages, you deserve more then that, some people um you know I know they your parents and you want their love and acceptance but they don’t, and we cant base our life on that and their happiness and acceptance you, he sounds like he has done some really messed up stuff to you, I cant imagine what you have gone through, physically, mentally and those scars it has left you with, I know you feel alone and not worth it but I am here for you every step of the way, ❤️ hugs if okie"}

_{I wanted to save that somewhere.x}

_{hehe :P}

_{awe an upvote. those make me happy i think.}

_{I’m bored out of my mind TvT-}

_..

_{I got a notification on chrome-}

The Independent

Jimmy Kimmel offers alternative jury questionnaire for Trump's hush money trial

Yesterday

_{I don’t get it lol😭do other people get notified that too-?}

_{"stop being a loner. interact with people"}

_{it doesn’t even make me mad or hurt me.}

"no one understands. it’s not that easy."

_{it’s just funny now.}

_ha-

_..

_{my grandfather used to tell my dad if he continued like this he’d lose me.}

_..

_{maybe it was an accident-}

_{I feel like.. I look into small things and give them bigger meanings.}

_{not in a good way.}

_{obv they know I exist.-}

_{I don’t understand anymore.}

_{I don’t understand anything. I don’t get it.}

_{nothing makes sense.}

_{I keep remembering random bits from my childhood :')}

well.