@mytwistedsoul

Oh well... I'm sure it will be fine. (': you doing anything fun today? 

@amiableBunny4016 That's just it though - cause it's not fine. But we tell ourselves that because nothing ever gets done about it 😕

@mytwistedsoul

exactly. 😞

Reading through a crisis letter from months ago which I had written makes me want to cringe 

My stomach hurts. And she's shounting again. 

@amiableBunny4016

Here with you, bunny friend. 💙

@amiableBunny4016 *sits with Bunny and Moon* 💙

@amiableBunny4016 Bunny! 

Imagine we're all sitting with you. You're not alone. You're one of the people that keeps me here.  I come  here because I care. Moon too - because she cares and Fluffy too - because they care. I feel so helpless right now Bunny. I'm half a world away and I can't call the UK version of 911 because if have no idea where to send them. Can you imagine that phone call? And I don't mean to guilt trip you or make you feel bad at this point I'm rambling because I can't do anything 

I feel the exact same way. You quite literally put my feelings into words. Bunny, you’re not alone. You don’t have to go through this alone. I care so much. You have people who care. I would have called the UK version of 911 but I have no idea where to send them like @mytwistedsoul said.

@amiableBunny4016 answer honestly ok? No being tough right now

@mytwistedsoul

i just made up an excuse about dad. too late.

now these people are going to exaggerate the dangers of what i did.

@amiableBunny4016 There's often truth behind the exaggerations. Maybe a safe place for a few days would be good? I don't say that lightly - I just want you to be safe

@mytwistedsoul

Na. Im not letting this slip. I'm not missing school tommorow. Tommorow is the first day. My break is over. 

@amiableBunny4016 I guess I understand the importance of not missing school but idk - I'm worried about you 💙

@mytwistedsoul

I get it. We both get it. We both understand how we feel. Idk what to say . 

@amiableBunny4016 If it worked you wouldn't have anything to imagine and us here would be sad and would never really know what happened to you 

It's - there's nothing to say ok? I don't want to make you feel bad or worse and I understand the draw or pull of it

Lots of love to you Bunny 💙

@amiableBunny4016

My Bunny friend. 💙 me thinking of you lovely. Are you safe now? ): 

some posts on here got deleted. oh well... i made a mistake. i wasnt supposed to be on here in a crisis.. im sorry for any incovenices caused.

@amiableBunny4016

*sits with you and offers hugs if okay* 

i get to go home soon. *does a sarcastic cheer* because im completely fine.

@amiableBunny4016

:') when you going home lovely? :( 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

tommorow/after tommorow since my condition isn't that terrible lol. so they just let me go. but they referred me to this *** mental health service which i probably wont go to lmao. 

@amiableBunny4016

oof. ): me sorry bunny bean. how is the hospital over there? is it okie? 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

its dead boring. lmao. 

@amiableBunny4016

): me understand that. 

.... Life hurts. And im hurting. 

Im at home. The first thing I am is a failure. 

@amiableBunny4016

*hugs you if okay* 

the only barrier to moving on, is fear.

the fear to move on. from the life we were used to. 

try to be perfect. it might work.

*tries* 

@amiableBunny4016

perfection is merely an illusion bun. unachievable. pointless waste of time if you're going through life just seeking perfection in every aspect of your life. what might have a greater benefit even would be progress. every day, just one small small thing to get 1% better at. over time, those small 1%'s add up and pile on each other until one day, you look back and go 'wow, i've changed so much since i checked my progress' simple things add up bun, and reaching for progress rather for perfection is a much more positive way to go about life. 

'perfection is the enemy of progress' - winston churchill

@mysteriousClover

mhm. yep. i know. i just... yeah. what you said. 

" you can't read a story twice and expect the ending to change" ~unknown 💜

They say parents are like best friends. The ones that cradle you in your arm and read you stories to sleep, play Lego and Barbie's, end the sibling arguements and give you joy in happy times, hold your hand when you fall, hug you tight when things don't seem so right. .. I guess it's not always that way.. I wonder where mine have been all this time? 

@amiableBunny4016

:') your not alone. 💜 big hugs for bun if okay 💙 

I turned a blind eye on everything they did. I thought i would be okay and that I could forget their words and actions. Just like how I would forget about the weird and useless books I used to dislike. They pulled me up and held me up in the sky. The feelings of importance. Of self respect. Of love. Once again they had hit me again like the wind striking through me. It felt.. like I belonged. But you know.. sometimes the same thing that holds you up pulls you down. And there they were smashing me to the ground. And the sadness fills you, like water being poured into a cup. Holding on to moments. Pretending it would be okay and like they say 'this too shall pass' ~ and so take all the empty promises and hold them tight. But just know.. that this happiness only lasted 5 minutes. And there you were once again.  Testing and tearing a broken girl just like how you would tear pages of a book. My eyes were opened to the girl I really was. Me. 

Bunny 

And my mistakes and trauma spill and stain on the page. You can't rub away, what happend. But you can write what happens next.