@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

How are you Sun? 

@amiableBunny4016

Hehe that's okay. I'm certain you're doing your best to get through it and be as fine as possible.💜

Same hehe, getting through it too. Trying to slow down and pace myself a little more, as this year comes to an end soon. (': Been a rollercoaster xD and unfortunately I'm not an adventurous persun.😂 ehhhh, we'll swing through the ups and downs just fine though.💪(hopefully xD) 

How's Bunny feeling about year ending/ new year approaching soonsiees? :0 

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Nice to hear your starting to slow down and all that . Hope the new year brings more happiness and joy for all.

Eh, don't feel anything. Honestly the years mean nothing to me. Everyday is harder to get through. I can't be bothered to think about the years. Even an hour feels like forever. Life falls into a new rhythm when you live in an abusive household. I get used to it. 

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

⭐😀🥺🎶💕🎁🤗🦕🤣😮😄😁🤔🤠✨🎉🎂😭🤣🥳🤤😪😏😊😁🥰🤔🥱🤪🥴🥺😬😜😛😳😮

@amiableBunny4016

Aw I hear you, Bunny, thinking about the years is likely not in mind when one is struggling to just get through the day, and heyyy, days count, we can always take it one day at a time, and even one hour or one breath at a time, always at our pace, whatever feels most feasible and within our reach. 

Being here counts and trying your best does too. You've held yourself so strongly throughout, fighting through so much on a daily, emerging stronger than ever, and possibly the bestest sister to your lil brother. You've been an inspiration and a strong pillar of motivation to many here too, sweet Bunny friend. I admire you lotsss and super proud of you always. 

It's okay to not be bothered about other things, your safety and wellbeing is most important and I pray things get really better for you someday. Keep holding on tight, till then, okie?! Hope might be a scary thing to hold onto, but so far, I've experienced it's the one thing really really powerful to cling tightly to, it turns bleak on us sometimes, and other times just hard to continue holding onto, but even then, it's worth holding on and I'm sending you all the strength to carry forward. 

Here's also hoping, you have many brighter, better, happier and safer days in store. No one deserves to get used to abuse of any kind, certainly not you, the most special bunny ever. 💜

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

awww thank you sun! *sending giant bunny hugs if okay* me lost of words hehe💜

@amiableBunny4016

😊🤗💜

Bleep 

i created this thread when i was *kind of* a newbie. and its weird to see 64 pages of ***

@gentleemperor 

I dont know if you still there or if you still on cups 🥺 but i hope you come across this. you have been in my thoughts 💕 i miss you so much and bunny never forget about you 💜 *sending hugs if okay* Long time no see 💕  you are amazing and you were always so supportive and lovely during my newbie years hehe 🥺 your in my thoughts and i hope your okay 💜

*** family issues. *** excuse isn't it? To get violent with me. Like *** off man. I don't care. Like why does she have to blame it on me? I can't do anything if my dad's family have her trauma. My life is *** enough. Blame it all on me. 

@amiableBunny4016 😞 Doesn't she ever give it a rest? I'm sorry you have to deal with this everyday 

@mytwistedsoul

nope. and on top of that... my brother is having a tantrum and pulling my hair

@amiableBunny4016 Geez louise - did somebody pee in both of their weaties this morning? Maybe pop into the bathroom for a few minutes - will his tantrum wind down then? 

@mytwistedsoul

... life is great. i have officially become an abusive sister.

@mytwistedsoul

excuse my sarcasm. 

@amiableBunny4016 You're not 💙 you're reaching a breaking point. I think you're a very good big sister how does her best to keep her brother safe

@mytwistedsoul

i hit him. i strangled him. i shounted at him. its abusive either way. i've become what i feared the most. im sick of everyone. i hate this. i hate me. i cant do this. he keeps fighting back. moms doing her own ***. 

@amiableBunny4016 It's ok to walk away from him for a little Bunny. Take a few moments for yourself to catch your breath and calm down. Everyone reaches a breaking point and we act without giving a thought to what we do. That doesn't mean we've turned into what we hate most ok? 

@mytwistedsoul

this is what i will be for the rest of my life. this is what i became. 14 years old. and became this *** *** girl. everyone says i should apologise... sure i will. i can do that. its easy to convince a 10 year old and say sorry. 

what  if  i become my mother? what if her story becomes mine?

@mytwistedsoul

but anyways..... how are you? < 3

@amiableBunny4016 Her story won't become yours because you see her for what she is. You are in control of what you become. I know it seems hard to believe because you're at her mercy but it's true. I'm nothing like my parents - that's one thing I can say with certainty

If turning into her is something you're afraid of you'll work hard not to. Was there a reason for his tantrum? Maybe he should say he's sorry for his behavior too?

@mytwistedsoul

idk. he has become emotional. he gets angry so quickly over small things. i dont blame him honestly. life is hard enough. he became emotional over a charger/plug i told him not to touch because it was dangerous. T-T honestly. 

eh, i dont make him apologise. sometimes he does it himself. sometimes he ignores me for a few days just to make me do it. 

@amiableBunny4016 You're right. I didn't think of that. Everything that affects you would affect him too and with him being younger - he probably doesn't have the ability to express himself in words as much. It says something though that he'll say he's sorry on his own

@mytwistedsoul

he doesnt even talk about feelings anymore. even when i try to talk him through stories. or use games or superheroes to talk him into feelings or emotions . he wont talk about it. i try to encourage him. but at the same time i dont want to push him. i just..... want to be there. but its almost like... idk. some days.. he says he hates me. recently , he has started fighting me more for no reason. but honestly... idk. i just.... have nothing to say. because he is emotionally dying. and so am i. 

and of course... i cant blame anyone. but myself

honestly. i dont want anything from her.... i dont want love. or happiness. i dont want attention. i dont care if she abandons us. i just want her.. to freaking stop being so violent . but anyways... it will work out somehow. i just have to deal with it for now. 

but anyways.... how are you doing? haha. im offloading alot of imformation. <3 *sending hugs if okay*

@amiableBunny4016 He might not even know how he feels. He could be confused. He's probably angry at how things are and confused as to why things are that way and why she's doing the things she is. You should all be in some sort of counseling or something to work through all this

@mytwistedsoul

yeah. hehe <3 i know depression can be so *** hard :( and it sucks. you got this soul *sends lots of good vibes* always here to talk soul <3 i pop into your threads too and me understand there is alot of struggles :( you is awesome and i just wanted to thank you for all your support and love! your kindness means more than the world to me

@amiableBunny4016 It does suck - big time

@mytwistedsoul

yeah. hehe <3 i know depression can be so *** hard :( and it sucks. you got this soul *sends lots of good vibes* always here to talk soul <3 i pop into your threads too and me understand there is alot of struggles :( you is awesome and i just wanted to thank you for all your support and love! your kindness means more than the world to me

I'm tired of listening to people 

*** *** 

im either gonna have a panic attack or im going to sh

.............

@amiableBunny4016 Is there something to distract you? Do you want to try to ground yourself? 💙

@mytwistedsoul

i just want to talk to someone. i just want to hold on to someone. i just... want my mother back.

@amiableBunny4016 I know 😞 I wish things weren't the way they are for you. You deserve a loving and nurturing parent

you hear what i do. but forget why i do it.

is she in her good mind, she just finished shounting like 5 minutes ago. and now she is apologising and guilt tripping me at the same time. 

what the ***. do one of them. she cant be both at apologising and guilt tripping me at the same time.

T_T yes because of course she wants something. apologising is not real now a days.

***. of course she wants me to move out of the house for a few days... so she can finish doing her ***