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Musings 6

Modal0154 June 10th, 2023

Following after

https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/DiaryEntries_1597/THETAJFTOJSII_303933/

Less unwieldy a title than the last stream of diary entries. It has an origin, I might one day explain. I might do the Vocoroo links on here more often for which it'll mean all the more to me if they get feedback.

Still will be typing as typical on here as well.

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Modal0154 OP June 18th, 2023
Modal0154 OP June 18th, 2023

Having seen the wholesome pda btw my brother's gf and sibling whilst playing board games

Modal0154 OP June 18th, 2023

=_= >_< >xI Flipping pain in the a-- ! to try to edit PDF files or try to convert them into Word files to better edit,merge etc or vice-versa, give or take finding websites were you can do that for free

I did this instead of the less environmentally consider print out the forms, fill them up via writing utensil and then go somewhere to get them scanned into one file.

2 replies
Modal0154 OP June 18th, 2023

Most of my expectant gym time was lost due to this

1 reply
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

+ : but I biked plenty -- trying to go south east, I reach 'an eastern limit'*, go south which takes me to expectant residential area, keep going south but instead of the expectant 'escarpment'/suburb region I wind up somehow looping back `_` " ._. ? on the opposite side of the road I took to reach that 'eastern limit'.

Makes me hanker to gander at a map sometime.

* the start of hiking trail going south at the base of a bunch of highways going east and an oddly specific sign which I which I'd photographed of ~'$10,000 fine--no driver's ed cars beyond here' . Really ?! =~= like wth ??, is that ageist, classist or some other kind of dumba-- thinly veiled prejudice or snobbery ?

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Modal0154 OP June 18th, 2023

- : how do someone else Spanish speaking kept saying "shark","whale" and me thinking as to whether they're offensively remarking on the weight of the ppl who boarded the bus

1 reply
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

..*heard someone else*, not how do else .

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Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

For the record my laptop absence issue halted yesterday whence I bought a barely used Apple laptop from my mother

6 replies
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

+/-

I found a hat but my brother lost a bike

5 replies
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

+

being complemented for my shirt at a thrift store and not being charged extra for something

-

being too anxious or upset and flustered to speak to the kindly attempt at banter whilst in the elevator I came out of

disappointing remarks from a parent

4 replies
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

I went to a thrift store hoping to find some headphones, the big 'cushiony' kind even if they have plugs which will well suit the workplace computer. I don't really give an ardent enough compliment to the clerk about my shirt which feels worse esp. since you didn't have to pay extra.

Big cushiony headphones still sought after..

I visit my mother to ask her if my gym bag could be repaired what with it's tears. She says no. I'm on the verge of packing up and she tells me ~'don't get angry' (-_- almost never a good thing if it starts off like that) but she tell's me how that if there's another vaccine mandate to not get another one even if job policy insists on it, that it's better to lose my job. She brings up my dad's apparent lack(?) of a vacccine and how he hasn't gotten sick.

I give a generic ~'I doubt their'll be another mandate and leave' thinking that if I'd taken say ~3 minutes less to pack up I could've averted that.

3 replies
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

One of the best thrift stores in the city is that one remote one near where my relatives used to be and it can be a hassle to reach.

Not to sure if I will given yoga intentions tomorrow and Thursday.

2 replies
Modal0154 OP June 19th, 2023

Big cushiony headphones with a plug, new gym bag and those twist-tie things for sandwich bags which are uncannily difficult to track down.

Modal0154 OP June 20th, 2023

I think to myself how while I have the wherewithal for a meager gym bag what doesn't elude me is how one way or another whether by thrift store or Amazon, whether by busing or even I knew how to drive and could embrace the convenience with a vehicle of my own, I'm still the sort to think shopping a tiresome chore, most often.

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Modal0154 OP June 20th, 2023

+: woke from a deep slumber

6 replies
Modal0154 OP June 21st, 2023

Stalling non-urgent desires to renew ID and buy headphones due to bedbug prospects >_< x_x

5 replies
Modal0154 OP June 21st, 2023

F--g s--ks to be confined on a lovely day to clean. Albeit, the light and heat being present is less of a deterrent than the same d--n confinement in winter

4 replies
Modal0154 OP June 21st, 2023

I wonder what neuropsych- affects follow from consuming green tea so soon (less than 2 hrs before) camomile ?, given how caffeine might not go well with something of a relaxant.

Even if it weren't for pornography use I'd still ask that.

At least got new cushioned, plug-in headphones '_' d..hate how on 'bad days' I"m more sensitive to fast food spending

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Modal0154 OP June 21st, 2023

Curse teeth staining from tea.

I think all not water, caloric,even non-alcoholic beverages strain the liver particularly.

2 replies
Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

I'm at this age where almost everyone around me either seems fairly older and 'over the hill' in the age, like my parent's age, pensioner's age and up or alternatively they're more or less the age of my one sometimes store clerk cousin and younger.

I remind myself that hypothetically in a not too overly dismal future when I'm a 'grey-head' I ought to(?) see as many greybeards around me as well and finally feel like I might relate to others, but I wouldn't hinge too much prospect on that as the continued quasi-brain drain trends of some schlock like trying to retire in Florida or somewhere else in an iffy political and climate change impacted area.

Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

Or maybe the disinterest in ppl will continue in one form or another and such a worry or expectation won't land on me

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Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

If things go accordingly tonight I'll suffer with a mask on for hours whilst various cleaning substance fumes subsume me as I'm taking precautions against pests but there's nowhere else to go, let alone safely as the sunsets on this neighborhood.

2 replies
Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

-_- ._. ..I'm hinging on scattered baking soda all around since (even if time spent applying it didn't bother me) mopping with Pinesol mixtures will leave fumes overnight and I'd need to wake early on to chat with the apartment rep about this. Come morning, apply Pinesol mixes.

Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023
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Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

I don't know why I'm saying nor know how it can happen but I rue the day when baking soda becomes expensive. Such a reliable chemical cleaning agent.

3 replies
Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

Oliver Queen/the Green arrow is one of my fave DC heroes, in terms of his personality and the stories which can come from it. Speaking as someone who mainly became familiar with the character via 'Justice league unlimited' rather than the now winding down CW-verse which is winding down.

Modal0154 OP June 22nd, 2023

- : ._. *sigh* I feel like I disappointed my sibling in explaining to him how I've yet to install the emulator Wii. This after how I shifted my TV related shelf overnight due to cleaning intentions.

1 reply
Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

This. Still.

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Modal0154 OP June 23rd, 2023

Controlled drop into pornography done

2 replies
Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

Moving onto eating since I'm over it.

___

When it comes to things I'm jealous of women for, or of, it's how they nearly always seem sssooo much better at socializing in a way which is not only less likely to be crass but less (overtly) competitive which makes such a difference developmentally.

Adjacent to an inability to connect to ppl, is how it might be valid to say that my clinging for pornography is a leftover from old undercurrents of endorsing male achievement and competitiveness not the least 'to be good enough' to be around certain circles of ppl and the females in them.

1 reply
Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

I choose to fall again.

Will my sister arrive ?. Will I have the drive to clean ?. Will the weather not be a wetter kind ?. Will it rain ?, will it shine ?.

>_< I'm due to wake up late, with an impulse to shower maybe and with one heck of hang-up, headache or paranoia.

'As usual' the root cause is friendlessness and this f--g site is f--g dismal at filling that void with non-'lonely brown guy' listeners

1 reply
Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

choose to fall again.

Will my sister arrive ?. Will I have the drive to clean ?. Will the weather not be a wetter kind ?. Will it rain ?, will it shine ?.

Can I f--g finally install my game console, please ?!?!. I'm hedging on it as being a part of subsiding pornography fixation even if the reality might be only less than partially pan out that way !.

I almost feel like contacting someone from 'taskrabbit' specifically for that !

>_< I'm due to wake up late, with an impulse to shower maybe and with one heck of hang-up, headache or paranoia.

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Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

That last point clicks differently when you factor the consistent but the near day and night timezone differences you can expect if say most seeking help are from the Anglophonic nations..

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Modal0154 OP June 25th, 2023

I'll only say ibid

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Modal0154 OP June 24th, 2023

`_` This was not ironically fun but self-serious and cool. Easy to follow despite how irl YGO became so convoluted after ~'08: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLHPeh4YtMs