In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Mom...accidentally keeps calling me by my sister's name. Which like...ok...its an accident..but- bad timing, much? Im kinda insecure already? And i dont get how people mess up names tbh. To me- everyone is too unique to mess up their names- and i get sis and i are similar looking but its not s o much- there are alot of differences appearance wise. Our voice is different too, minus when we laugh. So like-
Stop calling me by her name, maybe?
That. Is. It.
I have officially snapped.
That- that whispered sentence as i struggled to remain calm, that, mom, is the last you'll hear of me talking so much as long as i want. I dont care if you dont see me. You wont hear me no matter what I do and I am sick of talking to a blank wall because no matter what you try I am not sis and i will never get the care you give her (who you think she is! That isnt my sis! My sis is gone! I dont know where she is anymore i dont know that robot is not her). You say. She is wrong. And still- still!- for two mins you glared at her and that was it. Are you kidding me. That would- in the exact same situation that would not have been it for me. It would have been worse. You didnt even yell!
You didnt even yell!
And then sis walked out of the room in a temper (a temper! A temper at being glared at! She got mad cause you glared at her! Mom. She got mad cause you glared at her and im not allowed to get mad when you yell for hours this isnt making sense it isnt-)
And you told me. I should have warned her that you would be angry.
You said. You said! That i knew you were mad at her. That i should have told sis that you were mad so sis cld fix what she did before you scolded her. You said I should have.
I should have warned her. How many times have i warned my sis? She doesnt like it! She feels bossed around when i try to warn her that mom will be angry.
She doesnt listen
And now she did something wrong- and you didnt even yell, god, how did you not even yell, how- and it was suddenly my fault for not warning her which i didnt because she doesnt heed my warnings!
How was this my fault?
How was something entirely unrelated with me- a thing sis did wrong- still pulled back to me! I tried to defend myself because what- but sis came back again and mom dropped the topic to talk to sis (calmly! About a chair! She just let it be! She just. Let. It. Be. I never got that! I never got that i canticanticant-)
SHE DIDNT LISTEN
Im sick of it! Im not speaking except for the barest minimum now. None of them listen- noone listens- i love talking but no one listens- noone at all- im not- im done
For once the tears in my eyes wont fall.
For once
I just dont know-
I could lie to close friend to make her happy- and i lie so much so not a big deal except.
I dont want to lie to her?
@iloveyouxx @LoveMyMoonflowers @justmeeva
this is random :p but im 16yrs old now :p i didnt tell on my actual birthday because i dont feel comfy telling that in such a public forum :p weird, paranoid, brain :p
but im *16* tada!
(feels like i was 13 just yesterday…)
@unassumingEyes
eyes!! :0000000💖okie I won’t make it a big deal if you don’t want that- but :000000 happy late birthday!!!!!!💜💕🩷💕🌈🎉💗💕💖💖💓💕🌈💗🎉💕💜💜🩷🩷💕🌈💜🎉yu should’ve told me🩷but I get not being comfy with that💜if yu did tell me I would’ve made a huge birthday post for yu :p so makes sense xD maybe if yur not comfy don’t tell me xD💕
it feels like I was just 13 yesterday too🤍well- maybe cos I was- :') I’m not helping-🤍I still feel 11 tho. I keep forgetting how old I am :p🤍
eyyeyeysyshshathisuyjiasohyigshohgibusyosihuowjsyiosuhinsjbhwjanknakj
what’s your favorite type of cake💗? maybe I shoulda reacted a lil more gently-
@iloveyouxx hehe dont worry <3 my bday was awful tbh- ✨anyways✨-
i wld hv told u if i cld hv dm’d u or smth i just didnt want to make a public post :p
thank you 💖💕
chocolate for the win—- buttt fun fact my bday and my dad’s bday is the same isnt that amazing :p and he doesnt like chocolate :p and two cakes are too much :p so bday cake shld always be vanilla 🥳
we dont celebrate bdays tho. My sis just spent her 18th yelling that shes an adult all day xD i didnt do anything on my bday :p
@unassumingEyes
eyes >: nuuu >: having an awful birthday is the worst thing that can possibly happen to you- in a dramatic sense✨but I had the worst 8th birthday and I still remember it- I wish I could’ve make it better for you :') my brothers birthday is the one day I’m extra nice to him :p no one deserves a bad birthday >: it’s the day everyone’s meant to celebrate your beautiful existence on this earth😞💖
what :0 eyes yu know my grandma and my brothers birthday are also on the same day :0 it is amazing :0💖and so cute💕blop:p couldn’t you buy one of those cakes where half of it is chocolate and the other half is vanilla- there’re loads of those of different types too.💜
huh >: that’s sad. but idk.💜I know I’d celebrate your beautiful existence on this earth :p🩷your sisters an adult :0 :0 :0 :0 wow :0 idk I expected her to be a lot younger-even tho you already said that :p maybe more..- mature- no offense.🤍I’m not ready to be an adult lol :p🤍
@iloveyouxx omg 8yr old u didnt deserve a bad bday (or any yr-old-you) :p. Ur so nice ❤️✨️ my mom forgot my bday. And thus forgot my dads bday too, obviously. I disliked the second fact more :p and i mentioned my age once all day to sis nd she glared at me o.0
My mom told me, back when she was nicer xD, that i was a gift for my dad on his bday :p ive always loved that thought, tho its kind of scary. My dad- he looks at me like he thinks im smth amazing. He believes in me so much fr- my mom and sis always tell me to shut up and he said no, let her talk, maybe one day she'll be an orator. That was years ago and i still remember that xD
My mom makes the cake (back when we celebrated :p We dont anymore- no gifts no wishes no cake) and she didnt know how to make half vanilla and half chocolate :p so on my/dad's bday we had vanilla and on sisters we had chocolate :p
@iloveyouxx also i am not ready to be an adult either xD im terrified. And its just a few more years?? Help :p and sis doesnt feel like an adult. She feels like...
Ive said this before and its kinda rude but she feels like a robot :p does whatever mom wants fr. I try to tell her id support her no matter what but i guess its not enough? I think she believes she wants what she does- but i see the sudden changes- how she randomly starts "wanting" what mom wants for her- its like o.0 u dont have to like that just cause mom says so- she doesnt get it-
@unassumingEyes
eyeesssssssssssssss im late :( but still
haaaaaapppppppyyyyyyy bbbiiiiirrrrttthhhhddddaaaayyyyy tooooo yyyooouuuuuuuu *sings even though i can’t really sing properly* ✨
*hugs for you if okie* i’m proud of you 💜 im in schoolybobs classybobs right now but im gonna write you a note later on when i can 🥺 i wuv you 💜
Not knowing majority of the people in the gc is so common now :p whered so many newbies c o m e from-
@unassumingEyes
omigod I relate so much :') but I think it’s different becos I went to rooms for the first time in months- and no one I knew was there :') everyone had that newbie badge and I’d check their profile and they all joined like may 26- may 29. I has so many wise one friends :p idk where everyone went-🩷
@iloveyouxx ive been going everyday :p theres barely anyone i know anymore :p without mods and one, two ppl everyone ]s gone :p ppl either leaving cups or aging up
@iloveyouxx ive been going everyday :p theres barely anyone i know anymore :p without mods and one, two ppl everyone ]s gone :p ppl either leaving cups or aging up
@unassumingEyes
hehe eyes internet being eyes internet :pxD✨<33