In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Tw
What if i just didnt exist?
Just...no eyes.
Sis wld be lonelier- shes not very good at making frnds. And maybe my close frnd wld be lonelier? Cuz we understand each other best? But what else? I know if i were to...unaoive frnds and dad wld be very sad but if i never existed- well- what?
So my sis still doesnt know whether or not to go to college tmrrw they said to wait till 9pm (half an hour) and they wld confirm whether or not the boycott is on
Mom started this new thing. Everytime my sister is wrong and i get frustrated. Instead of telling my 18yr old sister to be kind or just u know not mean she tells me to be more patient. You cld hv been more patient you know, she says. She doesnt look at sis, who just got away with whatever she did. Just glares at me. You should have been more patient she says. I guess its the only way she can still blame me. Claim im impatient. Out of proportion. Over exaggerating. Dramatic.
Remember that line? From give a little? Be kind, be patient, be hard to please/It seems contradicting but do it honestly
Thats literally what mom expects of me apparently
I feel so useless i cant help anyone i need to do something
Useless
@unassumingEyes
you’ve helped me🩷but I get what you mean. you don’t always have to be that person eyes :')?💜but idk. I know it’s not enough to convince you :p my brother compares me to a houseplant. cos I don’t do anything :P unless there’s something I have to- and that’s fair. I could make a long list of things you’re beyond useful for- like things I’d only go to you for because you’re the best at helping with them :')🩷wait should I :p💖
@iloveyouxx
you’re so nice xD and u dont hv to make a list 💖 if ur a houseplant its a good thing i love houseplants 🤭🩷 i just feel like i dont make a difference. And i should be that person xD idk. It just feels so wrong to do…nothing. Whats my excuse for doing nothing? I feel like i have no excuse but being a coward. Idk xD
@unassumingEyes
no but :p i could :pxD🩷you love houseplants XD?💜
*dramatic expression* D: D: D: eyesss🩷you make so much difference😭💕you make all the difference😭eurghwagynayggaynsn youre gonna drive me to starting that list eyes :p💜abwinohbwhguiwniugownoiguwnoigunoihg shush you do so much tho :') idk why you don’t see it. >:💗
@iloveyouxx
Yes i love all plants plants are cool plants are good :p
ok but.
No xD legit all i do is sit here and talk. I mean if i was soo…idk helpful id be able to help my irl frnds too, no? But i cant. I just mess it up- all i do is sit behind a phone and type some msgs- i mean them, always, but what does that change- and it doesnt really help
I just feel so- so aware of how ppl hurt. And adults was one thing but teens- kids- its like. Why is noone helping all these kids-
smtimes i feel like running away (and it wld be sooo easy) and just idk joining an aid organization. I cant cook food- but i can distribute? Put me on a plane, send me to the poor areas with boxes of food, ill hand them out. Let me do something. Or like- theres lot of construction going around. I could- make lots of cold lemonade? And send it to all the workers? To help with the heat? But im too scared to ask mom cause- if she says no itll just- hurt-
Yesterday was an ew day 👍🏻
Why do i feel like today will be worse?
Oh right because i woke up to yelling xD
