In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Im like venting so much today sorry im just like not- idk. Ive been up since 4am. With a fever. I think i hv the right to not be able to control my thoughts rn lol
@unassumingEyes
hey no it’s okay <3 this is our safe space, it’s your safe space too <3 you’re allowed to talk here and let those thoughts out, ok? <3 i know your brain might have some second thoughts about it - wondering, oh why am i venting so much or why did i say this that way, or what i said didn’t make sense… our brains think so much, they seem to overthink every little thing :')
or idk maybe i don’t even know what i’m talking about lol 😅
@LoveMyMoonflowers what do you mean sm hv alters that never front?!/lh
nah bcz i didnt know that
*thinks. Pauses. Thinks*
*weakly* cn i hv a therapist, please?
@unassumingEyes
one of my others doesn’t front often. she is usually co-conscious with me. alters don’t just front, they can be co-conscious… and they can use passive influence… it’s not just being at the front. oftentimes, systems may not even be completely sure who is at the front. it’s normal and it’s okay not to know who’s fronting, too <3 (that channel i told you about, their system has made videos exploring terms such as co-conscious/co-con, passive influence and so on.)
i’m sorry eyes :') 😞 *hugs you*
@LoveMyMoonflowers *pauses*
*processes*
im okay…just thinking…a lot…
thanks for the info frnd <3 i got noone irl who knows anything
@unassumingEyes
im sorry i’m dumping too much information 😭
@LoveMyMoonflowers nooo frnd i hv no other info lol its nice to hv someone who knows sm stuff to ask <3
@unassumingEyes
okay…
Tw death and hospitalization nd stuffs
paternal aunt she was with ventilator and stuffs and i just…
she wasnt breathing on her own and i was like 11 and i didnt get what the values on the machine meant
Nd one i heard dad mutter to cousin that the value given on this row was for like rate of her breathing without the machines help or whatever.
So ijust watched it nd she was in coma nd i cldnt speak but i thought to myself to her again nd again to just breathe, breathe, u got this, breathe
nd she went frm like rlly low numbers to 12 one day and i told mom and mom told dad nd he told uncle nd cousin nd everyone started hoping
and another day (we went every friday) all the adults went to pray nd i stood next to sis and kept saying in my head, just till 12, just do till 12, cmon just 12 u cn u did it before just 12
nd she reached 12 nd mom came back nd i told her nd they hoped again
nd one tuesday cousin called nd said hed gone for his daiky visit at 4pm nd found out she passed at 6am nd the hospital folks didnt tell anyone
First time i saw nd heard dad cry. I think i was in shock. I remember i cldnt process it
my maternal grandfather passed on a sunday. My paternal aunt passed on a tuesday. My paternal grandfather passed on a tuesday, jan 25, 2022
idk why this keeps going on in jy head. Over nd over again i keep remember the moments i found out theyd gone, the moments leading upto that. Was it the hospital trip? Idk
Tw Ow, mister needle, Ow
@unassumingEyes its off finally
@unassumingEyes
good. <3
Tw two of my cousins saw my..."peeled" fingers yesterday and asked what happened. And ofc my dumb sis had to tell em i did it like whats ur problem man im not doing it so u cn tell the whole world
Anyways i cut my nails today so i cnt do it now.
