In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
@unassumingEyes
i has to go to school but i’ll ttyl oke? best of luck with studyinggg 💕
Tw
no srsly im gonna write abit more bout the freezing myself thing so tw
I don't rlly know where to start
But everytime I bath, there’s a longing in my heart
When I close the tap, an I’m met by cold
Oh, I feel so terrified, and oh, I feel so bold
Cause there’s a part of me that just wants to be frozen
There’s a part of me that sees that time as golden
Two steps away, a towel, a promise of warmth
Two steps away and I can’t seem to walk forth
There’s shivers in my body but all my mind can say,
”This is what you long for, you deserve it anyway”
I’m shaking to get out, my cough’s getting worse
”Tell me why you belong in this universe,
Tell me why you deserve the heat you think you crave,
Tell me why you don’t deserve an icy grave”
Tell me why I don’t
Tell me what I want
A battle between heat and cold
Feel like rotten mold
And only two regrets,
That I go back to warmth so quick,
and my ashamed breaths
@unassumingEyes
*sits with eyes friend* 🩷
@unassumingEyes @justmeeva
*sits with eyes buddy and evabuddybean* <3
@unassumingEyes @LoveMyMoonflowers
i gtg prepare for class, but i’ll check on you 2 once i can alright? love you vv much 💕
@justmeeva
awwe okie, that’s okie, i hope the class goes okay buddy 💙 ttyl 💜 love you more friend
@unassumingEyes @LoveMyMoonflowers
i am back lovelies :0 💕
@justmeeva
*surprise hug attack for eva if okie* <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*surprised* :0
@justmeeva
:P *hugs* <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugss* <3
@justmeeva
how is you friend? <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me’s okay, wbu? (i has to do something for a little but i’ll be back as soon as i can <3)
@justmeeva
okie buddy <3 me glad your okay. ^-^ i’m idk lol, okay ish <3 doing hw right now. :’)
eva has returned
@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes @iloveyouxx
@justmeeva
*hugs evabuddybeanie if okie* yay! 🥺💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugss* hi hi ni fren :D
@justmeeva
hi friend 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers
how’s it going with hw? :0
@justmeeva
i finished most of it :o 💙 hehe.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
yippeee :0 *gives you a cookie as a reward* 🍪
@justmeeva
*noms the cookie* 🍪
I kinda want therapy but i know my mom wldnt pay so i gotta wait till im older but i dont think there’s a good therapist in this country anyway so I might go on to cups therapy but it’s got me feeling kinda weird cuz when it’s an online therapist i wont know what he/she even does or anything about them so thats :0
sr is helpful (as well as this corner =D ) but it’s just teenies trynna help teenies, yeah? And we cnt rlly give advice most of the time. There’s sympathy and assurance but no solutions,, u know? Im not gonna leave on here (ever, i think) but a proper therapist wld be nice, too.
Tw and also another rant bruh :00
I mean, i shld probably do these in the private journal entry thing on cups but idk it’s lonely there lol
but yall dont hv to keep reading my rants 😭 i just need to get this stuff out
tw (mayb?)
I rlly rlly dont want to be like my mom
but like the fact of the matter is-
I have a short temper- if i think I or smone else is being wronged i lose it fast
Smtimes I yawn too similarly like her and stop mid way and pointedly refuse to make eye contact with her because no
my sis said i sounded like her once and i wanted to disappear
my friends say i look like her and i am very very insistent when i say i dont (i probably do)
when i get stressed i tend to zone out, and she does too. When she does it, it ruins the mood in the house bcz we know she’s going to get angry when she zones back in. I feel nervous everytime my friends zone out, even tho they dont get angry after, it’s just default nervousness. I try to stop myself from zoning out too.
It’s nothing big. I know Im not her. But that doesnt mean im not scared of becoming her. I know most ppl dont seem to look into their future much, but tho i dont know what ill get, i know what I want. And I do want kids- more specifically a son, but i think daughters are a-m-a-z-i-n-g too. I think I want a son bcz the boys in my family hv it rough 🤷🏻♀️ or maybe its smth else. anyways, i dont want kids if im going to be like her. Because she’s not abusive, she only hit me like once, but
but
yeah. Hmmm
@unassumingEyes
just the fact that your thinking about it <3 the fact that you have empathy and your mindful and your thinking about not being like her ensures that you won’t <3 it shows that your already vv caring. <3 i don’t think you’ll be like her :') you are you. <3 *hugs if okie*
i’m sorry if i’m invading your space or made you feel worse friend :') if that’s what happened, we can just get this specific post of mine flagged and nommed <3
I hv not been very nice to the mods on here 😬 it’s not that i dont hv respect for them, I really, really do. And i get why the rules are there too- ive seen the wisdom behind them. But when a mod tries to enforce a rule, for some stupid reason, the first thing i do is question it. Get defensive. Ask why when I know why. Im not rude but Im not easy and idk why i do that. I dont want to, rlly. Mods hv enough trouble without me getting all defensive. Sr and tcr has enough trouble without me getting defensive rn. But i just…flare up . And the mod always has an answer to my qs, and i cnt argue with the answer, so i say ok and feel so dumb for messing around in the first place.
what am i doing
