In the Corner

So for the next week or two imma hv limited water, net, electricity etc :0 

@unassumingEyes @iloveyouxx @LoveMyMoonflowers

happy ‘national don’t cry over spilled milk day’ everyone :p 🎉

@justmeeva

sorry- on and off rn :’3

you sureee you’re fine ?🩷 me reads friends bios D:🩷

awww someone’s hearting all the messages👀🩷 @unassumingEyes 

im so happy you’re back :0 even if it’s only for a while <3

/nfta

@justmeeva @iloveyouxx

Ppls remembering me :0000 

Happy national so-many-things-day <33

Hru all and @LoveMyMoonflowers?

Its been 2days and i miss cups lol

Noone answered the hru 👀/nfta but i hope yalls oki <3

Day 1 in new country (we dont count last night lol) and i already hv a headache <3 

Pfft anyways 

@LoveMyMoonflowers there *is* a train in Hamad airport, it *is* an amazing airport but it also *ended* my legs with all that running 

TW

So

my sis had an important event today and mom managed to make it all about herself

literally yelled at me infront of my grandmother for “sitting and walking like a patient”

….i have flu? I sit like that (huddled up) because im feeling really cold? And I walk “like a patient” bcz every few minutes a cough comes and I have to stop

and she yelled at me for talking weakly like what part of “cough” are you not getting? 

And earlier she was telling my aunt that she could “barely speak” like the irony bruhh

plus she glared at me and my sis for crying abit (because of all her yelling-) and my sis apologized via note at the event (and i was between the two of them and man did i want to tear that note what are you apologizing for having feelings???)

and my mom was like “no u cnt apologise we arent even yet you didnt make me cry yet” like bruh she does not get to be petty

Yeah she ruined the whole event and is still threatening me not to “talk weakly” now and its not my fault my throat isnt working rn so idek man

@LoveMyMoonflowers

flowers? I dont wanna intrude, or anything. Um, i just…saw sm of ur last night msgs in tcr and…

idk

not gonna stop ur or anything heh. I mean, really hoping youre okay and safe but…yeah

fun fact, sometimes i almost call you Ni, but uh the first time we met I said flowers and it feels like betraying that, you know? Idk my mind works weird

So, your life’s your life, so im not gonna tell u how to live it, or even to live it i guess heh. But i wish you would, live it i mean and i’ll wait for you Ni. Even with the worst net on earth I’ll wait for you. Take care love and i hope this isnt uncomfy or anything 

Tw i wish parents wld just parent man. Like cmon you have one job- 

anyones ranting about my cousin lol dont bother reading its long:

i was thinking bout my cousin (14yrs male). His dad, my uncle, used to have trouble with anger etc etc. so my sis, mom dad etc dont know this, but I know, because…well my cousin is just an year younger we were basically attached when younger lol

which means i was with him all those times my uncle yelled, pushed and pulled him around in anger- even the times he didnt even do anything wrong, or antthing wrong enough for this reaction

kinda similar to my mom. Actually, the only person who gets close to as…scary? While yelling as my mom does is my uncle so yeah like brother like sister i guess

Onky my cousin and i had different reactions i guess

like i hv my dad, who keeps mom calm when he’s there (and naturally i got closer to my dad). And at this age, rn my reaction to being yelled at is arguing back, glaring or crying etc

my cousin had his mom, my aunt, in a similar way i had my dad. But my aunt became tooo soft on my cousin, i guess to make up for his dad’s harshness

now, my cousin’s dad is controlling his anger (remarkably well, actually, applaud for pulling himself together 👏🏼👏🏼) but it’s still a bit late as my cousin’s mom is still too soft. Result? Spoilt cousin. Literally, spoilt. My whole fam looks at him like a brat sometimes, but Im the one who witnessed his father’s anger more than once (and god knows, it was probably worse when i wasnt there to see it), and I can never ever blame him for expecting too much from his mother when she was the only one to give him anything when his dad got like that. So facts- my cousin is spoilt, i love him anyways, i fully believe he’s good at heart and i hope his parents manage to pull their act together soon enough to not ruin his future because of his father’s anger

Having ranted all that, i do wonder if it’s possible for my mom to learn what my uncle learnt, controlling his anger like that. Maybe we could hv chances to move on too, u know?

but my cousin hasnt really moved on, has he? He’s happy-ish, but everyone else looks at him as spoiled, and that kind of happiness isnt really worth it, is it?

whose fault is it, anyways? My cousin, for depending on his mom who’d helped him? My uncle, for not learning to control himself quicker? My aunt, for being too soft? How does one blame anyone in these things? Its just a bunch of stuff that happened. That’s how i see life, i guess. In the end, there’s no one to blame. It’s just a bunch of stuff that happened, and you were caught in the tide. 

Rant number one million, and it isnt even 12 am yet:

at my sister’s event yesterday, a couple of guys gave speeches and stuff, and one guy spoke about smth i really, really agree with

He said that nowadays, we are so focused on grabbing opportunities and focusing on going higher and higher in life and going for leadership roles, and everyone is telling their children to become this great figure or that great figure, and aiming to just…be leaders, that we’re leaving nothing behind for others, that we’re throwing others down in our quest for going up, up, up, that this is why we’re struggling as a country, as a nation, as a whole lot of countries and nations and humanity, because we’re in this desperate bid for leadership, we’re throwing teamwork behind.

This is what Ive been trying to say, and what this man said so easily yesterday. My dad speaks to me of leading, not following, of being the one on top, of being looked up to etc etc. and my sis does this. She is a leader, she is taking that advice, that role. And i have been a leader before. Its good. I admit it, it’s a satisfying role.

But what about others?

We arent a pack of wolves. We dont need one leader to guide us. This isnt the system for us- we’ve done it over and over and over again, kings and presidents and prime ministers and chiefs and all that and it leads to corruption, or lack of opportunities for less fortunate etc etc 

This is why Im satisfied with cups. We dont have a great big Mega Mod that you have to obey 24/7 no matter what. We have a community of trained mods, volunteer mods, paid mods who we are expected to respect and follow but not to grovel for we are not expected to keep our mouths shut if a mod is out of line, and these mods arent given huge benifits, just enough to manage us and to do their role smoothly, and there are door keepers, room supporters, mega members etc and lots of available oppurtinites and there are leaders but there are also communities and teamwork and people know when to step up and lead or when to step down and follow and its remarkable that the system I have been speaking of, believing in is right here, achieved because the goal was just helping and its just wow

this is what ive been saying. This is it. You lead when you lead, you follow when you follow, you step back and take a break when you need to, there’s no burnout, no corruption, just a community of cupsers

Brilliant, folks. Absolutely brilliant 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼