In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Tw wouldnt read T^T
I’m still studying till now T^T it’s 11:20 pm here- I have dance class tmrw :’3 I hate that class :’3 plus 2 tests I’m gonna fail- T^T I have fitness class too :’3 everyones always judging you in that class :’3 pluss I look terrible and im breaking out- and and I have a class where I sit righttt next to this one guy and not even on chairs it’s on the floor and tw but I have a terrible fear of guys because of trauma and stuff- :’3 I’m so scared I don’t know what to do T~T I got triggered really badly awhile ago :’3 and idk if you remember @unassumingEyes but the day I got triggered and felt faint ( about 2/3 days ago ) I ended up in the hospital :’3 plus my dad just did smth and I feel like I’m supposed to cry but I just- I don’t know- :’3 I’m really tired.. :’3
sorry for venting in *your* corner @unassumingEyes , I just feel terrible rn :’3
and sorry for ruining the mood :0
* sucks it up * I’m gonna stop being depressing..
*:>*🩷
@iloveyouxx nadia? Love? In depressing 90% of the time. Its okay.
Are you safe rn lovely?
Im sorry so much is happening. Can u discuss with a teacher so u dont hv to sit with a guy?
Dw bout the tests. I get good marks in all of them and they do me no good. Even the fact that good tests = no yelling doesnt matter anymore :0 ur life and worth doesnt revolve around them 💓
Hugs if oki
@unassumingEyes *im depressing
My spelling is awful today im sorry-
@unassumingEyes
tw
thank you.. :’3🩷
teachers don’t care and if I said why they’d just email my dad in a heartbeat-
I don’t know if I’m safe :’3
you know my dad- he’s not very safe to be around.. :’3 yet he’s always around T^T but honestly I’m not safe anywhere anymore
i feel like such a failure tho eyes - I try so hard and I get grades as of I haven’t tried at all but I’m just so tired I do try I try really really hard but at this rate idk like what if I don’t graduate or smth- I know I’m overthinking but I’ve always been a failure and I’ve never gotten better no matter how hard I tried it’s never enough-
* hugs you tight * :’3 thank you 🩷
@iloveyouxx
*hugs nadia friend tight if oke* i’m so sorry to hear that, it seems so difficult :c
humans do ruin a lot of things *protecs u from bad humans*
we’re here for you too okie? :0 🩷
@justmeeva
🩷hoomans can be really cruel :c
@iloveyouxx
i know love, they can. but that’s why you gotta put your energy to the good people in the world, not the bad ones oke? they don’t deserve your attention, you’re soo much better than them 💕
When i move countries my timezones arent gonna be the same as @LoveMyMoonflowers or my irl frnds anymore and that makes me feel really, really sad and lonely-
@unassumingEyes
aw >: your only an hour in the past for me tho :0 I know it’s not enough but I’ll still be here >:🤍
@iloveyouxx <3 ur more than enough lovely
@unassumingEyes
do you know which time zone it’s gonna be?
@justmeeva Its UTC + 5hrs
@unassumingEyes
that’s not too bad :0 if i’m correct it’s only a 3h different :0 i can’t comment on your irl friends, but i have friends with a 10 hour difference too, we can work this out :0 🩷
@justmeeva sorry eva u were feeling bit better and my corner is depressing today ^-^ just moods swing wildly today :0
@justmeeva @LoveMyMoonflowers @iloveyouxx i really gotta go :( tc lovelies. Good night <3
Random tidbit: nadias an hour ahead of flowers and i, flowers and i hv same time and eva is an hour behind flowers and i. Correct, yea? :00
@unassumingEyes
awee tc friend! 💕
*eva at 10pm*
@unassumingEyes
aw bye friend take care >:🩷
yeah I think that’s right :0 since it’s 12 am for me- and 11 pm for you and ni- and 10 pm for eva, so yes :0 that’s right :0
Tw :P again T~T wouldnt read
I’m still studying 😭😭
yk I don’t really like talking about my problems cause well- I mean I do cause it feels like I never get to but when I do and people start emphasizing with me it feels so wrong since I only talk about the things I can talk about and not the more serious stuff so I just feel like I leave a dumb impression on people :/ idk how that works but like- yeah idk :P
the english test is about romeo and juliet :0 and shakespeare and stuff :0 it’s a lot harder than it seems tho heh :’3 and the science test is about everything we took this term soo it’s just so much to process and their both the same day >:
right now I’m trying to analyze a quote that’s so hard to “analyze” like how do you analyze this :’3
I’m gonna just- idk- is it just me that feels like I need to be hidden ? :P like my mind was doing that thing it does where it breaks me apart inside and I wanted to scream and cry but couldn’t :’3 then someone said smth and I threw my pencil on the table and got so mad then started crying so hard and there was no space for thinking so idk what was happening then idk what happened from then tbh- :’3 then I apologized for existing and- idk.. :P
sorry again btw- I hate my negative energy :P I try to be positive and stuff :’3 but it gets hard🤍 just not a good time for me- again :’3
im gonna go finish this pile of work :’3 byebye lovely hoomans from around the world :0🩷🌍
@iloveyouxx
*hugs nadia fren* (ik i’m late srry)
yeah it’s hard to talk about yourself without having doubts afterwards, i get it 🩷 but it’s okay to have bad days or moments or times, everyone does. it’s good to let them out in some way, either by talking to someone, writing them up, having a crying session etc, it’s better than bottling them up inside, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
life gets hard at times, sometimes for no reason, but all feelings and thoughts are valid, no matter what. i love it that you try to be positive, it’s a very good thing and it does help. but it’s okay if it doesn’t work out sometimes, it’s not always just so easy.
i know you’re trying and trying and trying. and sometimes you fail. but failing isn’t anything to be ashamed of. as long as you learn from your failures, they’re good. getting back on track after failing can be difficult and take time, sometimes you’ll never make some mistakes, but you don’t have to forget to move on. that sentence goes for many things.
just keep in mind that you always have us, even if all we can do is emotional support. but that counts for something too, doesn’t it? you’re always always welcome to ask for help whenever you need it oke?
*hugs nadia fren *again** lots of love to you, and good luck 💕☘️
@justmeeva
Tw T^T
I fell asleep while writing this :0 which means I have school in a couple of minutes.. :’3 good morning ! :0☀️💕
* hugs eva frend tight * >:🩷 thank you for taking the time to reply♡ you’re the bestest˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵💕
im glad you understand :’3
when I’m upset is it alright if I ask for others to not say something like everyone has those times cause I mean it’s true but idk- :’3 it reminds me of that one time I tried venting on cups and when I said I coudnt help the way I was and I have trauma everyone there started to say that they had trauma too and everyone had trauma.. tbh- everyone goes through something but not everyone necessarily has trauma- but I just felt so attacked :’3 I know it’s not what anyone there meant to make me feel.. it just hurt so bad because my trauma affects me so much and it took so much for me to vent just for others to say everyone had trauma.. I just felt so invalidated- but I won’t talk about it.. :’3
sorry. I know you mean the best tho :’3🩷
every time I’ve talked about it to someone I’d regret it so much- I can’t journal consistently or anything like that I’m really bad at things like that, and I cry all the time until I can’t cry anymore :’3 it doesn’t make me feel any better tho tbh- just leaves me with a terrible feeling in me-
i think you misunderstood this part hold on :0
so I meant that the only things I talked about were the things I felt like I could talk about- for a number of reasons. so when I talk about them I feel like I leave a bad impression of people because it sounds like what I go through is because of just that but how I am and how I feel is a result of a lot of things so for example if I say I feel broken and talk about something that happened it’ll sound like that’s the only thing that’s actually going on and I just sound dumb because- idk- there are just a lot of possible scenarios that could happen so even if I really need to talk I don’t :’3
i don’t try to be positive in that way- I don’t think that’s possible- I think I meant it more as in I try to pretend to be positive :P
I don’t learn anything from my failing tho- I just learn that I’m a failure.. :P
it does count- I just don’t know if I can be helped :’3
to be honest- what I expect is that I continue suffering for the next 17 years before I can just isolate myself from the world and hide away :’3 it’s a negative way to look at things but- idk :P my brain can’t see me actually doing something good with my life ever- I might disown my parents when I can- and just go somewhere really far- after sending someone to prison :/ just so they don’t cause any more harm :’3 then I’ll just live in fear and pain from then on :P I wish I was more positive ngl :’3
* hugs eva frend tight again * :’3🩷thank you frend :’3 I love you🤍/p
@iloveyouxx
glad you got some sleep :p
oh of course you can ask for that :0 i understand it, the meaning behind ‘everyone has those times’ is that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes, but i know you know that. it doesn’t mean that the reason you’re sad is relatable or common, that of course.
yeah some people find it comforting if others share their experiences, to let the venter know they’re not alone in this, but it makes complete sense that you might feel unheard or misunderstood, like people make it a normal and common thing :0
it’s also okay to ask for no responses to your vents aswell :0 it works better in forums and less in rooms but sometimes you need to just get something off your mind without necessarily having to run to solve it. sometimes. and that’s okay too!
what would you think about making your own vent space? just a thought, no pressure. i’m not good at journaling either, if i set a goal to do it constantly it sometimes seems like a task. of course there are many reasons why the classical journaling might not work well for some people, that’s okay. i’m just saying that cups has worked for me, it just feels good to type some thoughts down. just a thought.
*hugsss* i was gonna write more but i gtg .-. take care and stay safe oke? 💕
@justmeeva @iloveyouxx Im really, really late, but im glad eva was here :0 i think rn im not very good at thoughts, but i dont want any of u to feel alone anyways, so *hugs if oki*. I know it doesnt change anything, but i love you both <3 (and flowers too :p)
hru eyes fren? :0
@justmeeva not good rn :(( feel like im gonna do awful in my exams cuz i cnt study im just staring at my books and last yr i got 4.7 GPA outta 5 and mom got angry and said she was so dissapointed and idk whatll happen if i get lesser and its such a small thing to worry bout but idk im scared anyways-
/hru eva :0
@unassumingEyes
awee school’s stressful, i get it :c why can’t you study? can’t focus? anything me can do to make u feel better?
i’m oke, school’s not so bad rn, next two classes are cooking :D and then p.e., which isn’t that bad :0
@justmeeva u hv a cooking class :0 tell me more :0 /nfta
Yea me cnt focus...so much is happening rn and i dont rlly care bout what im learning
My sis keeps showing me stuff to "motivate" me and i appreciate the effort but literally none of them is making me feel motivated :00
@unassumingEyes
basically we have a technology class which contains of like crafts, cooking and stuff like that. we’re making pasta today :D
would you be able to take a break? get some water, do something you like to reset your mind so you could get back to studying with a fresh mind? going outside is good, although i’m not sure if you’re able to do that. just fresh air yk
i has to go now class is starting :c i’ll check on you later okie? good luck ☘️🩷
Dont bother reading this its just my study goals for today (which i probably wont do~)
- Learn short q/a, apparatus, reagents and observation of 18 chemistry experiments
- Social studies 2 chapters (tallying all 3 books and the notes together :0 )
- Maths chapter 1 (maybe. Probably not.)
It sounds doable, but is it really? Who knows 😭
Tw
Also mom just got a migraine and i just realized when we move w/out dad what are we gonna do when she has migraines? Who's gonna manage dinner? My university going sister? Thats not fair on her :0 i cnt even cook. Who's gonna manage the moving if she gets a migraine
What if she gets a migraine at the airport
