In the Corner

@iloveyouxx

*hugs nadia fren* (ik i’m late srry)

yeah it’s hard to talk about yourself without having doubts afterwards, i get it 🩷 but it’s okay to have bad days or moments or times, everyone does. it’s good to let them out in some way, either by talking to someone, writing them up, having a crying session etc, it’s better than bottling them up inside, even if it doesn’t feel like it. 

life gets hard at times, sometimes for no reason, but all feelings and thoughts are valid, no matter what. i love it that you try to be positive, it’s a very good thing and it does help. but it’s okay if it doesn’t work out sometimes, it’s not always just so easy. 

i know you’re trying and trying and trying. and sometimes you fail. but failing isn’t anything to be ashamed of. as long as you learn from your failures, they’re good. getting back on track after failing can be difficult and take time, sometimes you’ll never make some mistakes, but you don’t have to forget to move on. that sentence goes for many things. 

just keep in mind that you always have us, even if all we can do is emotional support. but that counts for something too, doesn’t it? you’re always always welcome to ask for help whenever you need it oke? 

*hugs nadia fren *again** lots of love to you, and good luck 💕☘️

@justmeeva

Tw T^T

I fell asleep while writing this :0 which means I have school in a couple of minutes.. :’3 good morning ! :0☀️💕 

* hugs eva frend tight * >:🩷 thank you for taking the time to reply♡ you’re the bestest˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵💕

im glad you understand :’3

when I’m upset is it alright if I ask for others to not say something like everyone has those times cause I mean it’s true but idk- :’3 it reminds me of that one time I tried venting on cups and when I said I coudnt help the way I was and I have trauma everyone there started to say that they had trauma too and everyone had trauma.. tbh- everyone goes through something but not everyone necessarily has trauma- but I just felt so attacked :’3 I know it’s not what anyone there meant to make me feel.. it just hurt so bad because my trauma affects me so much and it took so much for me to vent just for others to say everyone had trauma.. I just felt so invalidated- but I won’t talk about it.. :’3

sorry. I know you mean the best tho :’3🩷

every time I’ve talked about it to someone I’d regret it so much- I can’t journal consistently or anything like that I’m really bad at things like that, and I cry all the time until I can’t cry anymore :’3 it doesn’t make me feel any better tho tbh- just leaves me with a terrible feeling in me-

i think you misunderstood this part hold on :0

so I meant that the only things I talked about were the things I felt like I could talk about- for a number of reasons. so when I talk about them I feel like I leave a bad impression of people because it sounds like what I go through is because of just that but how I am and how I feel is a result of a lot of things so for example if I say I feel broken and talk about something that happened it’ll sound like that’s the only thing that’s actually going on and I just sound dumb because- idk- there are just a lot of possible scenarios that could happen so even if I really need to talk I don’t :’3

i don’t try to be positive in that way- I don’t think that’s possible- I think I meant it more as in I try to pretend to be positive :P

I don’t learn anything from my failing tho- I just learn that I’m a failure.. :P

it does count- I just don’t know if I can be helped :’3

to be honest- what I expect is that I continue suffering for the next 17 years before I can just isolate myself from the world and hide away :’3 it’s a negative way to look at things but- idk :P my brain can’t see me actually doing something good with my life ever- I might disown my parents when I can- and just go somewhere really far- after sending someone to prison :/ just so they don’t cause any more harm :’3 then I’ll just live in fear and pain from then on :P I wish I was more positive ngl :’3

* hugs eva frend tight again * :’3🩷thank you frend :’3 I love you🤍/p

@iloveyouxx

glad you got some sleep :p

oh of course you can ask for that :0 i understand it, the meaning behind ‘everyone has those times’ is that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes, but i know you know that. it doesn’t mean that the reason you’re sad is relatable or common, that of course.

yeah some people find it comforting if others share their experiences, to let the venter know they’re not alone in this, but it makes complete sense that you might feel unheard or misunderstood, like people make it a normal and common thing :0

it’s also okay to ask for no responses to your vents aswell :0 it works better in forums and less in rooms but sometimes you need to just get something off your mind without necessarily having to run to solve it. sometimes. and that’s okay too!

what would you think about making your own vent space? just a thought, no pressure. i’m not good at journaling either, if i set a goal to do it constantly it sometimes seems like a task. of course there are many reasons why the classical journaling might not work well for some people, that’s okay. i’m just saying that cups has worked for me, it just feels good to type some thoughts down. just a thought. 

*hugsss* i was gonna write more but i gtg .-. take care and stay safe oke? 💕

@justmeeva @iloveyouxx Im really, really late, but im glad eva was here :0 i think rn im not very good at thoughts, but i dont want any of u to feel alone anyways, so *hugs if oki*. I know it doesnt change anything, but i love you both <3 (and flowers too :p)

@unassumingEyes

that’s okie lovely 🩷 *hugss*

i’m not much help either but idc company’s company :p

hru eyes fren? :0

@justmeeva not good rn :(( feel like im gonna do awful in my exams cuz i cnt study im just staring at my books and last yr i got 4.7 GPA outta 5 and mom got angry and said she was so dissapointed and idk whatll happen if i get lesser and its such a small thing to worry bout but idk im scared anyways-

/hru eva :0

@unassumingEyes

awee school’s stressful, i get it :c why can’t you study? can’t focus? anything me can do to make u feel better?

i’m oke, school’s not so bad rn, next two classes are cooking :D and then p.e., which isn’t that bad :0

@justmeeva u hv a cooking class :0 tell me more :0 /nfta

Yea me cnt focus...so much is happening rn and i dont rlly care bout what im learning

My sis keeps showing me stuff to "motivate" me and i appreciate the effort but literally none of them is making me feel motivated :00 

@unassumingEyes

basically we have a technology class which contains of like crafts, cooking and stuff like that. we’re making pasta today :D

would you be able to take a break? get some water, do something you like to reset your mind so you could get back to studying with a fresh mind? going outside is good, although i’m not sure if you’re able to do that. just fresh air yk

i has to go now class is starting :c i’ll check on you later okie? good luck ☘️🩷

@justmeeva thats interesting :0 do u get to eat the pasta?

I mean, does checking cups everynow and then count as a break? 

Going out wld be a dream

Im gonna bath soon. Is that a break? Hmm

No i dont like baths =D 

Dont bother reading this its just my study goals for today (which i probably wont do~)

• Learn short q/a, apparatus, reagents and observation of 18 chemistry experiments
• Social studies 2 chapters (tallying all 3 books and the notes together :0 )
• Maths chapter 1 (maybe. Probably not.)

It sounds doable, but is it really? Who knows 😭

Tw

Also mom just got a migraine and i just realized when we move w/out dad what are we gonna do when she has migraines? Who's gonna manage dinner? My university going sister? Thats not fair on her :0 i cnt even cook. Who's gonna manage the moving if she gets a migraine

What if she gets a migraine at the airport

Tw

Not ok

@unassumingEyes

what’s wrong love?

@unassumingEyes

are you there friend? 

@justmeeva me here eva. Sorry if i worried u :0 was in rooms and stuffs. 

@unassumingEyes

are you okay?

@justmeeva yes and no :0 

@unassumingEyes

*sits and listens* /nf

@justmeeva me cnt rant rn :0 sr busy and lgbtq room busy :0 trynna be there fr ppls uk

@unassumingEyes

mhm i see, but i’ll be here once you’re able to oke?

@justmeeva oke, thanks eva <33

@iloveyouxx you oki lovely? /nfta

@unassumingEyes

no.. :’3

@iloveyouxx sorry :( do u wanna talk about it? 

@unassumingEyes

it’s oki :’3 it doesn’t matter T~T

🤍

@iloveyouxx it matters to me 🥺 is it bout what happened in the lgbtq room? Me doesnt think it was ur fault nadia. Itll become clear what was wrong soon hopefully, but i think there was a misunderstanding :0

@unassumingEyes

its not that simple eyes lovely :’3🤍 I guess- related.

honestly ive known such terrible people on cups- tho it’s meant to be a safe place :’3 I don’t expect anything tho

but I’ve met such a disgusting person on here- them just being there scares me so much :’3 but they’re always on. they just wont stop- doing what they do :’3 and I hate it because I can’t get on here without getting triggered badly / really uncomfy / I just end up crying for hours :’3 

part of what they do isn’t even allowed- but they make it seem like they’re not actually breaking any rules :/

I just can’t anymore tbh. Idk what to think. 

It’s oki tho :’3 * cries alone * :P

🩷

@iloveyouxx

*sits next to nadia friend* 🩷

Me gotta go but ill leave a little rant :p

Tw (mentions of sh etc)

i dont do sh the usual way? I spend time after bathing in the bathroom without moving, even when i start shivering, wet and cold instead of (tw) burning

instead of (tw) cutting, i hold my breath at night

instead of (tw) scratching, i pick my skin

instead of preventing panic attacks, i try to find out what my trigger is so i can trigger myself on purpose

instead of looking for good listeners to vent to, i look for bad ones to get upset by

i dont sh the way people sh. But im not kind to myself either. Idk why. Idk why i do it. Idk why i do it differently. Idk.

i just do

@iloveyouxx

Cn u report them lovely? Or tell a mod? Its not good smone on here is upsetting u or anyone so much :0

@iloveyouxx

i can try and help if you need me :0 💕

@justmeeva

idk how I can be helped tho :l * sits *•-•🪑

@iloveyouxx

what did you think about the reporting or talking to mods tho?

@justmeeva

idk- tbh I’ve seen someone do something similar on here ( not as bad but similar ) but they’d be like direct they’d show that side of them and they’d make it really clear but all mods ever did was nom their replies / comments but nothing was actually ever done to stop it🤧

they still go around in forums and stuff and conflict always starts when they’re there :’3 

I can try :0 I have a lot of things they I know they said- I just want smth to be done about it tbh :P🤧

🩷

@iloveyouxx mods might not stop it at once, but reporting cld get the account deleted. Even if they make a new account, it myt scare them off :0

@unassumingEyes

theyve hurt so many people on here eyes :’3 ( females in specific :P)

but that’s the thing they do this thing I can’t explain it drives me crazy :’3

It basically makes everyone feel bad for them for a life based in lies :’3

@iloveyouxx

on * •-• spelling left the chat :P