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In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
The Sun is shining, the Universe
Is singing through twinkling stars,
You'll hear its rhythm in chirping birds,
Chattering humans, and honking cars
And broken worlds
And healing scars
You'll find its rhythm
In what you are
@justmeeva thank youu <3 thats the 4th poem today wow :0
Imma sleep now~
Gnnn
I kinda feel better. Like myself? Even tho rn is a hard time so i probably shld be feeling worse lol
I think this diary thingy is working. The thoughts dont repeat too long? Like, it can be anything small as "Im going to do biology" that can repeat over and over again till 90% of my brain says "Im going to do biology" and i kinda need to tell smone but if i say it late then telling smone leaves me feeling empty and unsatisfied? Idk
But now I just type it out here when it starts and then get back to my life =D i think its helping. I kinda wanna play chess after an year of not wanting to aswell :0
Some peice in this puzzle we call life is falling into place, I think :0
@LoveMyMoonflowers
7 feb, flowers. The flight, i mean. Thanks for talking btw.
The universe has a funny way of saying “I think you’re strong’
It makes you prove, that it isn’t wrong.
@unassumingEyes
sending healing beams 💕 if okay 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers ofcourse. Thank you love <3
@unassumingEyes
it’s okie to have our low days. 💜 life is hard :') and things can get messy. 💙 we’re here with you 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers I know 🥹 Thank you <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers *hugs*
So many ppl on here offering me hugs today :0 people here so nice
I think i may hv tw OCD. Or just some symptoms? Idk. How do ppl know this stuff? How do u even get diagnosed? "Hey mom, i want to get tested for OCD"
...Who even makes the diagnosis-?
Tw for...ignorance-
Besides, if OCD = neat then nvm-
@unassumingEyes
i think getting a diagnosis might begin with speaking to a doctor about it? :o and they can refer you to the right people. 💙 i’m not sure though 😅
it’s okay to suspect some things 💜 and to look over symptoms and be like ‘hey i relate with this a bit’ 💙 that’s okay. your not alone.
it’s okay to take things slowly - one day at a time 💕
@unassumingEyes all online tests say i do, but i know those arent diagnosis so thats not a confirmation lol just food for thought
@unassumingEyes i dont even want to "treat" it or whatever. Just want to know if i hv it then proceed to live as before lol
@unassumingEyes
hehe, that’s okay, i understand that. oftentimes diagnoses can help us understand more about ourselves 💜
@unassumingEyes
it depends on where the online test is from 💜 but there are some good sites out there who give… idk what they’re called - screenings (?) so you can check how likely you are to have X or Y. 💙 it helps people know whether they should see a professional or not 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers Yeah they’re screenings. Idk. I know I cant possibly get a diagnosis for it unless my parents suspect and decide to themselves— there’s no convincing them, I mean. They’ll think I’m copying others, or smth. So I’ll just, you know, keep researching and stuffs, and if I still hv these symptoms when Im an adult, I might get it checked.
i don’t know if there are, uh, therapists? Psychologists? In the country Im moving too. I mean, there must be, but expensive.
@unassumingEyes
awwe :') i understand that. would your parents allow you to speak to a doctor - at least? 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers um, basically, according to my mom, people who hv any disorder or anything are valid and deserve love. But none of her children can have it becase shes their mother so ofcourse we dont :0
im honestly too scared to even ask-
Oof. That’s tough T^T i’m so sorry. ): *offers gentle hugs*
i get the being scared of asking part. your not alone in that
Watch my poetry get worse the more upset i get
"You're worried about what the future holds,
I'm a paper trying to endure more than 7 folds"
Im running on autopilot, where i basically tell myself to be upset after hard thing X is over, and when its over everyones so happy i feel like its a bad time to get upset, and dont lol
During packing
Mom : stay outta the way
Also Mom : glares at me for not helping
??????
Im just gonna cups and study at this point
:[
@justmeeva hehe =D
Its gonna be our last week before exams so probably noones gonna cm to school :0
@unassumingEyes they asked me to help and apparently I was holding the cling wrap "wrong" :0
Then i pretended to fix it and they were satisfied
I literally changed nothing :0