In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
@mytwistedsoul hehe Happy Halloween. ๐
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou ๐ Happy November lol
Had more pictures but it kept giving error codes and wouldn't post ๐
@mytwistedsoul
Aw yes Happy November. โค Hope the new month treats you super well, Soul. How have you been?
Did you celebrate Halloween? How was it? :D
Oh noes, hope all of this is fixed soon. :/
Would it help to upload the images to imgur or any anonymous platform and then copy the image, and paste it in forums? In case it doesn't let you add images directly from the device. ๐ฎ That's how I usually upload images for the peer appreciation thread. xD
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou I hope the new month treats you really good too ๐ ๐ and ๐ช let's start the day right ๐ โค๏ธ
I've been ok - busy busy. It's that time of the year. Getting things ready for winter. ๐ for asking ๐ and how has Sun been?
We don't really celebrate Halloween but did take a drive to look at decorations and dropped candy off at the library for the kids ๐ sugar rushes all around lol!
I might have to do that and just up load to imgur. I mean I understand the reasoning behind alot of the why's but holy cow there has to be a better way to implement security. I kind of miss gifs that aren't on a pre approved list or that I could do a search of them at least ๐ but I don't mean to complain
@mytwistedsoul
Hehe thankyou so much and yasss, cheesier and sweeter new month lol! XD๐๐ช
Glad you've been okay, Soul. That time of the year, I see hehe, hope you get enough time for rest. โค Sun's been okay also hehe, swimming through the days, thankiees.
Aw that's so sweet (literally and metaphorically loll, candies ๐), sugar rush be so real. XD
I get that hehe, and it's okay to feel frustrated at the same, it does get annoying after a point (we are beyond many of these points already lol๐คฃ๐ญ), I miss it too, and hope they can implement better security and fix all that's broken. :')
*hugs hugs* ๐ค hope atleast the imgur thingy works. :o
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou I'm glad you've been doing ok. Swimming through the days sounds - interesting lol
I still haven't tried the imgur. I have imgur - just haven't used it lately to try and post anything
*hugs backโค๏ธ* and ๐ for yours โค๏ธ
@mytwistedsoul hehe yes yes, it be like that sometimes xD
Ooh hope it works well for you, if and when you do try it. I like that we don't need to set up an account on the platform to upload and share images. ๐
*noms and shares ๐* more *hugs* โค
Been a while, but how's your ankle doing Soul? :o hope the pain has subsided.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Aww ๐ for the ๐ or maybe ๐ช instead ๐ that way there's dessert afterwards lol
The ankle is better ๐ for asking. It still gets cranky sometimes when it's used too much and I try to be really careful where I step and how I step ๐ alittle paranoid with it tbh
*big hugs* it's really nice of you to ask Sun โค๏ธ you're allways so thoughtful and considerate
@mytwistedsoul
Omigoodness we think the same way, my mind goes straight to wonder about dessert too. xD ๐ช for ๐ sounds better haha! ooh and to sometimes switch it up maybe ๐ or ๐ฆ for ๐ lol!
What's your favorite cake? :o
I remember the ice cream, sending scoops of rocky-road and cookies&cream. ๐ฆ๐ฆ
Aw I get the paranoid feeling with the ankle, it's rough to function well with a cranky one, so it's good you're being more careful about stepping and stuff, glad it's been better and continues to get fully better over time hopefully. ๐ค
Aww that's very kind of you, Soul. I try hehe. *big hugs back* โค
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Great minds think alike ๐
๐ฆand ๐ instead of ๐ sounds good lol
Tbh- I'm a weirdo with cake and I'm not really crazy about it. I prefer pie - strawberry or a nice lemon meringue ๐
@mytwistedsoul
Lol yes.๐
Ooh that's okay xD I like how everyone has different choices, I've never tried a lemon meringue pie :O am I missing out lol? xD
As for cakes, this gif lives rent free in the dining area of my brain: ๐ฅฐ๐ญ
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Omg! What is that?! Like chocolate lava cake? The chocolate is all melty! I would have to try that. Maybe twice lol - because gooey chocolate ๐คค it looks absolutely - yum! You might like chocolate lasagna but the chocolate isn't as gooey but it has Oreos for the crust
Lemon meringue is kind of tart I guess? But its kind of creamy - I'm not sure how to describe it tbh - it kind of a summery dessert. So it's not a heavy dessert๐จ<--- new one lol ๐
@mytwistedsoul
I know right?! The melted, gooey chocolate is all things- *droolssssss* xD It does look like a lava cake to me also, I honestly at this melted-point, do not care about the name or whatever it is, I just wanna dig innnn lol. ๐ญ *shares with youuu tooo* ๐ฅฐ
Aww chocolate lasagna :o I dunno where to find it but it sounds super tempting and niceeeee for my tastebuds haha! *-*
Ooh yes, a tart, truth be told, I'm not the most experimentative or open to diverse flavors haha, sticking to chocolate feels safer usually. xD Still expanding on it slowly though, one new flavor at a time. ๐ I like blueberry cheesecake the most, in cheesecakes. :D
It does sound and look (I googled xD) quite summery and also refreshing? hehe. :P Time to hop to a bake-house pretty soon now.
Lol yes new xD ๐จ also this๐ง? Haha!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Lol! Agreed ๐ it needs no name. Just a spoon or fork or heck a straw at this point ๐
Tbh - I'm not very experimental with foods too much. I tend to stick with what I know and like and chocolate - well you can't go wrong with chocolate. I think you'd like chocolate lasagna. That was kind of an experiment lol - a recipe seen online. It's easy to make and doesn't need baking but it's really rich and you can only eat so much at a time lol
Chocolate lasagna
Yum! ๐
@mytwistedsoul
Hahahaha yasss a straw would work too! ๐
Aw that's very understandable, and also same, Soul, sticking to the usual, known stuff seems just safer and better. :O You're right haha, can't go wrong with chocolate (I hope we don't jinx this xD).
Omigosh it looks so yummmm ๐ it looks like an ice cream I once had hehe, it was an ice cream sandwich sorta? With biscuit textured covers stuffed with ice cream (I think I am horrible at explaining this stuff but I hope you got it ๐๐ญ), was sooo good also (perhaps one of those "lemme try something different" moments for me haha).
You made the chocolate lasagna then? :D I'm impressed. Does Soul enjoy cooking/ baking?
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Gasp! No jinxing chocolate! ๐ฏ The Oreos are crushed to make the crust. Then mix cream cheese with cool whip and spread on the crust. Then chocolate pudding and topped with more cool whip and sprinkled with little chocolate chips ๐
I do like to bake ๐ I suck at homemade biscuits though - not sure why lol. But cookies and pies I'm good with and zucchini or banana breads
I've been working at learning how to cook a little more. Can't live on hot dogs and ramen forever lol. And you? Do you like to cook or bake?
@mytwistedsoul
Hehe yes, no jinxing chocolate lol.
Omigoodness, Soul, I'm drooling already, it sounds so so delishhhhh, hope to have it some day haha!
Ooh now with my question you'll be able to guesss if I cook/ bake or not lol, so question is, are homemade biscuits and cookies too different from each other (baking process)?๐
A zucchini bread?! Is that a thing too? Which rock am I living under haha!๐
That's so true lol, ramen and hotdogs, specially ramen is comfy (and easy) food 101 but oof yes, gotta satisfy the nutrient intake also xD sooo proud of you for trying to learn, have you tried these YouTube recipe videos and stuff? Some of these "look" really easy hehe, I keep adding some of these in the "saved" playlists but somehow don't come back to most of them (lol- not proud about it). XD โค
I feel cooking is a super-power-like skill to have, and a super power I don't have xD I can cook enough to survive though, but yeah not much, hope to learn it more also. And yes baking, again, not much, but I can bake (simple/ easy-ish) cakes and I'm grateful for it. ๐
I make great iced coffee though, if it counts as "food"?๐ (let's pretend it is haha)
To answer your question - Idk lol. Apparently I've got a mind block when it comes to biscuits. If it's a mix I have no trouble but from scratch something gets messed up ๐
Oh my gosh yes zucchini bread is definitely a thing. You might like that too. The zucchini is shredded and it looks gross making the batter but it's delicious after its baked. Especially with coffee in the morning
Tbh there's many recipes on the YouTube watch later list. Sometimes they actually get watched lol but whether it gets made is another story. Sometimes there's ingredients in it that are yuck and all interest is lost. I've actually took a step up from ramen recently and have yakisoba noodles instead but the concept is the same. Add water and microwave ๐
I'm ok with cooking basic things but following recipes it seems like it's all some alien language and I can't follow it. I may as well be reading hieroglyphics
Cakes have all the basic food needs. Eggs and water or milk and flour. I think those are on the food pyramid somewhere ๐
Coffee is life. There is no life without or before coffee. I usually heat my coffee back up when it gets cold so I'm not sure if I'd like iced coffee lol
*hugs to you โค* I hope you're doing ok and hada nice weekend
Omg omg omg! We got funky colored eggs!
@mytwistedsoul So cool. ๐ฎ
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou ๐ The Ameraucanas just started to lay! We only have three of those. Robin - Hedwig and Cheese lol
hugs Soul ๐๐
@Optimisticempath Opti! โค๏ธ ๐ *pounce*
You've been in my thoughts OptiBear โค๏ธ and I've been sitting with you quietly
@mytwistedsoul aw thankyou soul, I'm really happy to have your company ๐ it is vv comforting and nice ๐ฅบ you in my thoughts too and me grateful to you
*pounces on you and keeps hugging* ๐ค๐ค
@Optimisticempath I'm really happy to have your company too Opti and I'm very grateful to you โค๏ธ ๐
*hugs Opti very tight* โค๏ธ โค๏ธ
๐
@mytwistedsoul ๐ฅบ *hugs tight* โค I love this gif lmaooo ๐
( Triggered) As I'm not supposed to use my sharp tongue, what does one do with passive aggressive people?
@mytwistedsoul something happened soul? ๐ I'm sitting with you and here if you want to talk about anything oki? *hugs tighterrโค
@Optimisticempath โค๏ธ It's kind of a longish story. Condensed version is someone from a chat room contacted me as a listener. They're unhappy because I don't chat with them as much as they'd like. I explained from the beginning that I don't sit on site all day everyday. I don't have hours to sit and live chat. I can't. So they leave passive aggressive messages. They had before and there was a strong reaction on my part and this listener freaked. I'm trying not to block them but it's starting to cause me some issues ๐
Thank you for the hugs โค๏ธ *hugs back* โค๏ธ
@mytwistedsoul. Iโm glad that you set boundaries with them. I been trying to learn to do this myself. Even telling someone โno I canโtโ can be stressful for me. I hope that they will stop the passive aggressive messages. Those can be very disturbing.
@adventurousBranch3786 Hey Branch :) setting them is so hard but I'm finding that holding them is harder. Its like I'm just drawing a line in the sand only to have it erased
Its such a small word - no. But there's so many consequences to it. Its like you know people expect you not to say no. You know they'd like it if you just said yes. And I second and third and forth guess myself
@mytwistedsoul. Omg itโs very hard for me to maintain saying no also! Irl I said no to 2 people and they kept calling me over and over again trying to see if I would back down. It was so hard for me I shook inside each time they challenged me. I didnโt back down on my no but it was very hard. I guess some people have learned to wear people down through repetition. I hope that you will be gentile with yourself. Setting boundaries is a challenging skill to learn when we didnโt learn it earlier in life!
I have to say well done for not backing down! That's a pretty big thing in my opinion! Was it any easier the second time?
It would have been nice to learn these things at a younger age with some guidance instead of fumbling our way through it all now as adults.
@mytwistedsoul It wasnโt any easier with the second person. I almost gave into to them but was somehow able to stick to my no. There is now a third person that is doing the same thing. This time I am finding it a little easier.
@mytwistedsoul. It was equally as hard as the first but in the end I was glad that I did it even though it was hard. At least I didnโt get pressured into doing things for these people. Iโm going to keep trying ,hopefully it will come more naturally with practice! Btw Iโm sorry for posting that boundaries post here. I didnโt realize that you had already seen it.
@mytwistedsoul aw I know how stressful the passive aggressive behaviour is and just makes us feel more annoyed and disturbed :( idk also hard to wrap my head around the fact that it's a listener causing you more stress .... aren't they here to like reduce the stress we feel from irl already and make us feel better lol?? ๐ I hate it when people make it worse .... if you cant make it better ....atleast dont make it worse .... it's just sad and vv annoying
I'm sorry Soul if i said anything i shouldn't have , i just sense that their messages really brought you down and I don't like it ๐ you do not deserve this and it is vv valid to feel as you do too โค
boundaries are so hard ... we have had this topic before and I know you struggle with them too so I can understand how much more difficult it is for you to deal with this situation (which btw is totally uncalled for) also :(
please don't feel the obligation to reply to them or chat with them , you don't have to be here or here to chat with them all the time or as much they want to ... it's ok to say no, or simply not reply if they keep disrespecting your boundaries... if the push coms to shove... sadly yeah there's the block and report tool ...ik it's not easy using these too despite knowing there's a need for it and it's there for a reason :') *hugs* me here with you okii๐ค
@Optimisticempath *hugs Opti tight* โค๏ธโค๏ธ you didn't say anything wrong and you've nothing to be sorry for ok? You're allways so gentle in your replies. Thank you โค๏ธ It did bring me down ๐ I kind of just keep to myself more and avoid being here. It's hard because I like being here. I don't have a whole lot of people in my life except here. My fault cause I keep to myself and don't socialize in the real world
I just don't have good luck with listeners I guess. Boundaries or my lack of them no matter how hard I try to hold them. It's just like another reminder that I struggle with expectations - epic failure. No matter how hard I try it just never seems to be good enough - so I tuck myself farther and farther away from people
I've been standing my ground - I guess - sort of ๐ฌ and just didn't reply to any of it because the second to last comment seems manipulative. The last one was - Idk justifying what they said. ๐ Which I struggle with that too and guilt trips and this person seems to be good at them all. I don't even know if its intentional or just how this person is - if that makes sense. Like maybe they're not aware of it? But yet if I say something about it they comment back that I don't have to worry about them ๐ sometimes I think it would just be easier if people just tell me what to do. Then I can't make the wrong decision that upset everyone. But at the same time being told what to do or not do causes me problems too. It shouldn't be this complicated - should it?
*hugs OptiBear tight again* Thank you for being here and for being so kind and gentle โค๏ธ
@mytwistedsoul
*hugs back tightly * awww Soul thankyou โค it means so much
I really understand how difficult it feels .... you dont need to keep away from a resource for you tho because of some random people, this is your support system and you deserve to have one โค it is easier said than done but we can try to remove the unsupportive links of this system and keep the rest mhmm? .... it be ok to not engage anywhere you don't feel comfy with ... the struggle of finding a good listener is relatable also :/
what about the setting or maintaining boundaries usually puts it off for you? I don't think it's your job alone Soul ... you're not a failure โค *hugs* trying hard is not failing.
Nope it shouldn't be this hard :( the dilemma is real, between wanting to know the right thing to do and discomfort with being told about it ... some people make it so much more complicated for us I feel :/ it's very manipulative at times and we keep blaming and finding faults within ourselves.... you're the kindest, Soul always very thoughtful and caring ... and I wish more people respected that more about you and were mindful of your comfort also :(
im sorry it's been a while here :") any updates? Did they say anything post your effort of setting some boundaries and staying your ground? how are things currently?
you don't need to thank for being with you ... ofcourse I am and happy to also ๐ค*hugs back tighterrr* โค
@Optimisticempath Hey Opti โค๏ธ We did talk about it alittle after I wrote about it here. I forget sometimes that everyone can read these posts - so - guess maybe you can tell what happened next ๐ฌ He's being careful with things he says and I'm trying to keep in better touch. Compromise I guess? I guess it's just hard because I know he's dealing with things and I am too - so we're doing one day at a time
With setting boundaries - no was never an option before. There was consequences and in some ways I figure people wouldn't say or ask for something if they didn't need it? Idk - my thoughts are really convoluted about this subject *smh* I do better with other people's boundaries. I try anyway. Sometimes I might forget and mess up. I know I don't need much help for blaming myself or finding fault with me. That's one place I actually excel ๐
No sorries needed Opti ok? *hugs Opti tight* โค๏ธ
@mytwistedsoul
aw yes D: hope it was a safe chat and not like a confrontation ... you only shared your feelings and you're allowed to โค
um yeah a compromise sounds alright I guess ๐ it seems they really like being in touch with you, honestly Soul anyone would ... you're such a caring hooman being ๐ค hope people on their listener account know better with boundaries also ... you don't need to be doing all the hard work or taking the blame always on yourself ... you don't deserve it either ... it's a tough topic and a complicated situation fr, ik you try hard and care for everyone ... and keep doing your best... you're doing as much Soul, it's ok to sometimes mess up or falter also ... no one's perfect and again, you don't need to take blame always alone :/ ik the excelling at being a self critic thing too well also sadly ... it sucks being good at that lol ๐ for every mistake you hold yourself up for ... I'll be here to remind you that it's ok and bonus , something you suck at ... do you know you absolutely fail at being Un-kind Soul ๐ฎYou also fail at being ungrateful ๐ฎ and you fail terribly at being a bad-friend ๐ฎ .... in other words, you excel at being kind, grateful, and a great great friend ๐๐ฅฐ and I'll keep reminding you that whenever needed! *hugs tightterr* thankyouโ
you look so good in your pfp hehe ๐
@mytwistedsoul- . Sorry to hear someone was taking advantage of your kind soul as a listener. Please know how much you are valued in this community. โค๏ธ๐ด๐ดโค๏ธ
Dropping off some hugs and good vibes. ๐คโค
How has Soul been?
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou *hoards all the hugs and good vibes* ๐
Soul is - how much time do we have? lol
@mytwistedsoul All the time Soul needs and a little more always! โค
Hehe good luck hoarding, it's an endless supply of hugs and good vibes now! ๐ค
Last full moon of 2022. The Cold Moon. Seems fitting doesn't it? Winter is on it's way.
Always make time to howl at the moon
There were no howling involved tho. Maybe next time - it can be a goal for 2023 :P
@redmark It's hard to believe another year is soon over. Sounds like a beautiful walk :)
Maybe you can try on the full moon in January - that one's called the Wolf moon ;)
Although, howling is not really my thing but what I like to do is I kinda sorty quietly sing along with the songs I am listening to when I am alone - or just "mouthing" along. Sometimes it gets a bit awkward when I notice someone was around all along but at that point it is way too late lol
@redmark Its kind of like scream therapy I guess? Lol probably just me being weird too
There's nothing wrong with quietly singing along. Here at the house or in the truck I felt those lyrics out. I can't carry a tune to save my soul but it's cathartic :)
I had to laugh - I've had that happen in the shop. Singing like crazy only to turn around and the neighbor was there ๐