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xelimious December 4th, 2020

Reflections. I've come to realize the value of a journal in that you write down what you're thinking about, and in a sort of way you write, or in this case, type it out and as a result process what you're thinking about, or try to process it at least, and as a result, it'll be my best effort to update this diary of whatever I'm thinking about whenever it may be happening, in order to have some clarity of thought, I suppose. Perhaps relating to potential goals I may have, or literally anything on my mind. Trigger warning is up to be better safe than sorry, generally shouldn't be posting anything really explicit here. Let's see how long this lasts.

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xelimious OP January 1st, 2021

Don't trust in others, there's no one listening. Make way for yourself.

xelimious OP January 1st, 2021

2021

Clap

Wonder how I'll manage this year

xelimious OP January 8th, 2021

Poor plan is going into action.

This won't really affect literally anyone, seeing as the state of my wellbeing has no bearing on anyone in this world.

I'll try not to die, and hey, I might even have a few good times.

Farewell for now.

xelimious OP January 12th, 2021

Likely my last post.

Leaving tomorrow, farewell to all.

2 replies
barncat January 12th, 2021

@xelimious- I have followed your thread- am trying to read into this farewell- whether it is a cry for help- or a lliteral done with posting- just wanted you to know someone has been listening- and to acknowledge your value in this world.

1 reply
xelimious OP January 12th, 2021

@barncat

Thank you, that does mean a lot.

I said that it's my last post as I'm running away tomorrow, and more likely than not I won't have availability to log in and post.

Much appreciated, do not know how long I may be gone for but will try to figure something out.

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xelimious OP February 11th, 2021

A lot has happened in a short period of time.

I was in a temporary group home environment, awaiting placement to either a more permanent group home or a foster home. I got placement in a foster home. Right now I would definitely prefer a group home and I'm considering doing something incredibly stupid in order to move to a group home instead. I do not care if I'll have less freedom.

xelimious OP February 11th, 2021

They wish for me to go into therapy. I am unsure how to respond to this, though I have agreed for now and am awaiting that I guess, I do not see how it could help. Apparently I am very detatched, but how could they possibly know?

xelimious OP February 11th, 2021

'They' as in the agency, I also do not appreciate how they just changed my agency and I therefore got a new case planner. I did not want that to happen. I kind of just want to go back to the group home environment I was in a few days ago. Easier. Structured.

xelimious OP February 12th, 2021

I am contemplating an incredibly stupid action in order to enact change.

xelimious OP February 12th, 2021

I have waited far too long. Wish me luck.

xelimious OP February 13th, 2021

Try again tonight. Do not falter.