Hall of Fame (TW)
Reflections. I've come to realize the value of a journal in that you write down what you're thinking about, and in a sort of way you write, or in this case, type it out and as a result process what you're thinking about, or try to process it at least, and as a result, it'll be my best effort to update this diary of whatever I'm thinking about whenever it may be happening, in order to have some clarity of thought, I suppose. Perhaps relating to potential goals I may have, or literally anything on my mind. Trigger warning is up to be better safe than sorry, generally shouldn't be posting anything really explicit here. Let's see how long this lasts.
I've come to realize that it's a necessity for me to get out and exercise on a daily basis, and when I don't, well, that's where the problems arise.
I'm not quite sure why this is the case, but I know for a fact that it influences my mood on a daily basis, if I fail to get exercise in then I suffer, both physically and mentally. I need it. I must make it through.
I'm aware.
If no one cares, that means I need to take the action to care, for myself. For, if I don't, then who will?
Absolutely no one.
I cannot hate myself, and I'm going to try to make the most of this opportunity which is life, which others may have not received to the extent I have. Until I cannot anymore, I shall live to the fullest.
Habit will be your champion. When you train the mind to think one way and one way only, when you refuse to allow it to think in another, that will produce great strength.
The hardship of the exercises is intended less to strengthen the back than to toughen the mind.
Okay. I am now in CPS custody and have been for around a week now, spending my days in a bland room with little to do. It is at this point I realize I am now truly alone, disconnected likely permanently from my family, and no one to talk to. I, for the first time in a long time, have a sense of uncertainty and quite possibly fear for what may happen next, and while before I thought no one cared, now truly no one cares. Ward of no one except the state, in limbo.
Absence was due to contemplation. I'm no closer to the answer, and likely never will be. Confident decision making shall likely rule the day, though I must be sure of my actions beforehand.
How does one find hope when you're in a hopeless situation? One might propose that you get out of that situation, but what if that doesn't seem feasible? Where's the light in a pitch black room?
Commitment. An agreement, pledge, or promise to do something in the future. A spirit of determination and dedication, leading to the highest order of discipline (Training that develops self control, the willingness to do what is required despite personal mood.) My unrelenting determination is wavering, but I don't know how to take corrective action.
Who actually cares? I don't mean to say that in a disrespectful manner, but who cares? People, for the most part, are self absorbed and don't care about much that doesn't pertain directly to them, so why should anyone care?
