A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)

@Optimisticempath

Hate to be weird and really strange ❤️❤️ just wanted to say .. thank you Opti for being there with me through so much! And obviously I know your struggling alot but I want you to know your feelings are valid . ❤️❤️❤️❤️And you are really strong and brave to open up about anxiety and scary feelings. I know it's really tough and scary, unexpected times🥀 I hear you Opti and you are an inspiration to me 🥺 *hugs you if it's ok*. It's ok to express feelings . *Gets tissues*

Love,

Bunny

@Optimisticempath

I love this idea and I love it. It's a thoughtful way to share the things you come across on here knowing that someone might see it and walk away feel better or impacted. I know that since I recently discovered this post I find it useful and helpful :)

@Ivy229

im astonished at some people's remarkable ability to turn everything into something positive and nice 😮 how do you guys do it? What's your secret??😍 you are so sweet!

I really appreciate your kind words and so so glad that something here (most of what I honestly feel is just trash talking my mind out 😅) was nice and helpful for you <3 I'm vv grateful if anything here can be helpful to anyone in anyway 😄

@Optimisticempath

❤️

@mytwistedsoul brightest light of bestest soul 🥺✨❤

So annoyed with how frequently I'm talking crap here lately 😖 but idk what else to do or where to go smh ... have you ever been made to feel so unwelcomed...so much of a bother ... so much unacknowledged... so much stranger like ... so much "whether you're here or not it doesn't even matter... we didnt notice your absence or presence" ...so much like a nobody?? ... when no one seems to care of your presence or absence ... have you???? why does my concept of self is so flawed... how is it possible that I know some of these AREN'T my thoughts ... they aren't my words ..they aren't me... yet I allow all of this to question my existence 😔 it is exhausting always being a nobody... somedays I prefer that tbh... like yeah fr...leave me tf alone but then some people are so weird..they don't give me clarity... keep pushing and pulling... make me feel needed sometimes and then most times... don't even bother...🤡 lots of stuff getting triggered because of "small" things ... I wanna cocoon and hide away from everyone forever 💀

@mytwistedsoul

big squeezieee🥰🥰

*big squeezy for Soul* 🤗

Soul it's june D: we in june already D: so many months over D:

how's you keeping? how was past week for you?💕 me thinking of chu ❤

@Optimisticempath *big squeezie for OptiBear❤️* I love this gif 😊 it's so cute with the not yet - not quite there!

You have a flutterby on your nose 😊

You've been in my thoughts dear friend. I hope you're doing ok. Sending you light and much love ❤️❤️

@mytwistedsoul

Big squeezieee😁 makes me smiley😄

*big squeeziee back Soul ❤ you're the bestest ever 🥺

a flutterby on me nose😮 hehe v cute 🥰 me likes butterflies, they pretty

thankchu for love, light and being you Soul ❤

how is june beingfor you till now? how's your father doing if ok to ask? :( *hugs tight🥺

@Optimisticempath It makes me smile too 😊 you make me smile ❤️ I appreciate you and your friendship so much Opti. Thank you for being you - for bringing light into my perpetual darkness

@mytwistedsoul

aww you melt my heart with how pure hearted you are Soul 💕 everything you say I know you mean from heart 💕 there arent many people like you and I'm so glad I have you in my life 🥰 I consider myself very blessed for being your friend 🤗 *bigggg squeeezieeee*

ofcourse I care Soul.. sometimes I hesitate to ask because I know it's a difficult topic and idk I don't want to make you think or feel more worried or anything 😕 but you can always share anything you want ... I can be your safe sharing place ❤

im vv sorry june's not going nice and there's stress trouble with your father's health :( it sounds so scary ... like everything feels scary to imagine ... i live in constant fear of losing people ... and I know even the slightest of these situations wrecks up our minds .... you're living so close to the fear and having to face it every day ... soul I'm vv proud of you...ik it's an awful sucky situation and I so wish it wasn't but I'm sending you so much love and strength and I'm sitting with you.. hugging you tight 🥺 i wish I could do more but please know I'm here for you and keeping you in my thoughts ❤ me luvsss you and me cares for chu 🤗

for me .. idk Soul 😅 every day feels the same .. some days are more terrible than others but I'm mostly just numb to things now so idk ... I'm only existing and life is happening or doing it's thing lmao! D:

hows sleep for you? are you getting enough rest? 💕

@Optimisticempath Hey you ❤️ *big squeezie* It starts to feel like you're not even an active participant in your life doesn't it? Just a long for the ride. That's me too. I'd like to hit a pause button and stop things so I can catch up or catch my breath. You can always ask questions Opti. Everything is on my mind almost all the time. He's worse. I didn't think it would all happen so fast. I always think there's time and I move forward so slow 😞

*pokes Opti gently* you doing ok buddy? ❤️ *Sends hugs and love if ok* . We here if you wanna talk about anything❤️🤗

@amiableBunny4016 bestie bunwee I got your poke ☺ your too cool 💕 *pokes back*

Ily 🥺 thanks for checking on me it means vv much to me 💕

I'm lately trying to not be bothered about anything ... most things I should be bothered about lol idk if it's a good thing or bad but sometimes I wanna remove my mind and throw it the f away to catch a break ... I feel rather dissociated with my thoughts at the time... so maybe the mind's not functioning much which is fine .. it never did right anyway ... 😅 mostly numb and used to with stuff ... it's just those random panicky reminders of life being life every now and then that are v horrible but it's been some days free of that so it's fine D:

wow I blabber a lot ... D: I'm ok currently ❤ don't worry

how is you? how's everything at home? :( me here for you too 💕

@Optimisticempath

I love you lots too Opti ❤️💕💕 you mean alot to me! *Sends hugs and love if okie* 🥺aww I hear you, sounds like alot of overwhelming and confusing feelings. 💕 I hear you 💕 *hugs tightly if okay* your feelings are valid and I'm so so proud of you! 💜 Try to be kind to your beautiful self and I hope things get better ❤️🥺 disassociating is so difficult sometimes but we here for you and things will get better 💕💕. Sowwy me not very great at supporting but I'm always here for u and sitting with chu!

My life is okie. I'm getting through things. But I want you to focus on yourself please 🙏 💕🥺 and you don't blabber at all. ❤️ You opening up and I'm proud of you very much! 🥺🥺 *Sends hugs and love*

@Optimisticempath

@AayushreeKalyani aw that's so sweet of you 🥺

sending virtual hugs back 🤗

@Optimisticempath thank youuuu!😇

@Optimisticempath

Hey Opti 🌺❤️ just wanted to check in on how your doing? You matter to us and your amazing! Hope your doing okay! we here for you <3

@amiableBunny4016

i just logged now bunwee bestiee🥺 saw your tag and soul's just now and I feel so happy you guys are really amazing and I'm crying 😭 why so sweet to me🥺

me thinking of chu also bunwee💕

I am ok I think.. existing so ok I guess.

how is you? i luv you 💕 you taking care of you?

this is a vv cute picture 🥺 me here for you also bunwee 💕 your so important and you matter so much also ... I mean it fr, your kindness really means the world to me and having such a beautiful bestie makes me feel so much grateful 🤗

@Optimisticempath

There are millions of reasons to be sweet and kind to Opti 💕 probably infinite🥺💕 and you mean so so much to the community and so many people ❤️💕 here are some reasons Opti deserves love and kindness! Just so you remember 😀💜

1. Opti is kind and caring towards other peers 💜 so therefore Opti deserves kindness and respect back 💕

2. Opti is really lovely and fun to be around 💕 always fun to chat to on forums and make me smile with sweet words! 😀

3. Opti is honest and humble and tries their best to make others smile 😁

4. Opti is a loving , beautiful caring human even tho she doesn't realise how amazing they really can be! 🥺

5. Opti is resilient and strong in so many situations and whatever life throws at Opti, Opti keeps going and stays here. Showing so much strength and love 💕

There are so many reasons Opti deserves so much more in life! 💕💕I hope you remember how special you are Opti. I'm really glad your existing *sits with you* ❤️ I'm proud of you Opti! Really really proud! *Hugs if it's okie*

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

bestiee bunwee you don't need to be so nice to me 😭😭😭

why are you so freagging sweet 💕

ily lots and hope you're being gentle with yourself 🥺 please be nice to my bestie 🤗

@Optimisticempath

You know Opti... I don't need to be nice to you. No one is forcing me

But I want to be nice to you.

I want 😀❤️ is they key word.

How u doing by the way?😀

I know I ask this alot and I'm annoying but I just want you to know I care and I'm here for ya ❤️ we right behind you Opti.

*Hugs gently*

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

your never annoying bunwee ❤

it feels good to have someone care and ask tbh... just that it seems I'm never fully okay, or idk what okay means any more and I don't wanna keep sharing that sad stuff always 😅 coming across so repetitive....im ok I think.

how are you?🤗 sending lots of hugs to you , please be kind to yourself ❤ you deserve love

sometimes there's a nagging thought :/ I see people here posting their goals, achievements, progress and happy things too and I never have anything to share of that kind .. makes me feel if i even do anything to feel better ... but i know already, i don't do anything ... i don't put in any efforts ... I am not trying ... Idk if I even want to try, it smh what to try for ffs and i don't feel anything ... only existing urghh which is miserable but ehhh 💤

@Optimisticempath

Are you okie, Optimus?🧸

Hang in there, it will get better. One day you will look at today and everything will be alright. 🧸

im happy for them tho 🥺

@Optimisticempath

Optimus, it is okie to not achieve, other people's progress is not a measure for your progress. Other people's achievement is not a measure of our achievement. The fact that you are happy for them is something you should be proud of. Cuz that means you are good person who can be happy for others.

@VictoriaLove7 aw it's so nice of you to visit this thread Victoryy💕 you're such a kind person 🧸

thankyou for the reminder and checking on me 🥺 it means vv lots to me

i haven't been very ok but I'm also not bothered about it i think so it's whatever ...existing still 😅

how've you been ?

@Optimisticempath

Thank you, Optimus 🧸 I think you are the vv kind one! 🧸

Have you read a book 'maktub' by Paulo coelho. I once reading and it's helpful to make us feel a bit at peace and not worrying.

(What is it that makes you not vv okie? 🥺 if you'd like to share? 🧸)

@VictoriaLove7

no it's you 🥺

oh I haven't read the book but I'll check it out when I'm feeling more motivated to read , thankyou for sharing victory 💕

(idk what to say ...i dont think there's any aspect of life im doing ok in 😅 everything keeps piling together and idk i wana stop caring for a while ... im tired..im not even doing anything but imm really just ... tired 😔)

Optimus, can I ask why you use the sad milky bear as pfp 🥺🧸 (are you sad?)

you asked this in another post Victory but I couldn't find the reply button and the comment shifted to new post so replying here if ok?😅

short answer...yeah xD i am sad D: id feel more of a lunatic if im happy at all.. in the current scenario so idk sad fits...ill anyday opt for numb tho..😬

idk why i just felt connected with this picture.. it was part of a gif i think ive shared in this diary some time back also :0 ....the bear is looking down away, hiding from everyone...me too

bears are also cute ... so ok sad and miserable and hiding and hating everything but cute 😆

thanks for asking and caring 🥺 do you have some reason for picking rainbow cup pfp too? me would love to know also

It's vv colorful like your posts for appreciations 🌈🌈

@Optimisticempath

Optimus 🧸 🤗 I read your reply earlier but i was at the grocery store and when I got home I needed to make something 😇 and have just completed it about 10 minutes ago. 🥳

So, I've just been able to reply properly now. 🤗

🥺 I know that feeling.. sometimes things can be overwhelming. And we are being hard on ourselves. It is okie to not worry or to stop thinking about them. Is there a way to like do some things that you like so that you can relax for a while and then when our mind is more relax we can feel better and start to work on things that we need to work on. Would you like to share or talk more about it? 🧸

Yes yes, I saw the full gif of milky bear 🧸🥺 there were like stuffs falling on milky bear. I will look for the story behind your pfp in this thread. The bear is definitely cute, but I hope I can cheer up milky bear and you, Optimus 🧸 so that you will not feel too sad..

Me use rainbow mug 🌈 (when I typed mug I got this emoji '🍺' 😆 ) Long time ago 😌 , when I newly joined chatrooms I didn't have pfp, then I said to someone in a room, "I want to have a cup for my pfp" But they said, 'Only com mod can have a cup for their pfp'. 🙄

So, I looked for a mug picture instead of a cup. And, it's rainbow mug cuz I like rainbow and it's a support for rainbow community too 🥳

I found cutu milky bear picture 🧸😃 (I was going to post it earlier and said, 'are you sleeping, Optimus?' 🧸🤗)

@Optimisticempath

Optimus 🧸 the cutu picture of milky bear is in my post below 🧸🤗

@Optimisticempath You've been in my thoughts dearest OptiBear ❤️

And big squeezies too! 😊😁❤️

@mytwistedsoul best soulll🥺 me missing you lots 💕💕 thank you for thinking of me, you know it means the world to me 😭

*biggest squeeezieessss* 🤗🤗🤗

how's soul doing?💕

@Optimisticempath Hey OptiBear ❤️ I've missed you too. You're in my thoughts alot and I worry sometimes if maybe I'm overwhelming you if I write too much or visit too often. That probably sounds lame. Anxiety says not to be a pita 😅 I'm ok thank you for asking ❤️ How is OptiBear doing? Is there anything we can do to help?

Where to start? Where to start?

See - I have this friend. They're an amazing person. Kindhearted and thoughtful. Always doing their best to make sure everyone is seen and heard. Just a truly wonderful and beautiful person. There's so much I'd like to say to this friend - to tell them that I wish they could see the goodness in themselves as I see it in them. That They are worth so much more than what the bad thoughts tell them. That they deserve to be loved and cared about as they love and care about others - no matter what any thoughtless or careless person has said. I'd like to tell this friend how much their presence means to me and so many others here. I'd like to tell them that they mean so much because of the person they are. Kind and thoughtful and considerate. I'd like to tell them that if they need someone to talk to or to sit with them quietly. I'm here. It's ok to share their struggles but it's also ok if they'd rather not. There's absolutely no pressure - just a gentle reminder. I don't want my friend to feel as though they have to fight or struggle alone. I'd like them to know that there are people that care about them

You see - my friend did something today that surprised me. I was touched and choked up for awhile. And it made me realize how wonderful my friend is. I was in the special events room for the Bday celebration. Listening to high five shout outs. When much to my surprise there was one for me. See what I mean? Thoughtful and so kind always. I'd like to tell them thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for being you. Thank YOU OptiBear ❤️❤️

@Optimisticempath

@mytwistedsoul awww Soullll🥺🥺🥺 you have the most beautiful words always 🤧😭🥺 you deserve all the kindness Soul and I wanted to shout out for your perseverance and holding strong despite the eww things life throws at you somedays 🥺 me vv proud of you always Soul ❤

*huggles tight and doesn't let.go 🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗