@EchoEce17
I'm not sure who can relate with suddenly becoming old, gross and unrecognizable in the mirror but yeah. *Raises hand* It's me. Hi. I'm the problem it's me.
Before I was so bouncy and fresh. Now I'm more like a deflating balloon after the party.
I used to age like a Sequoia. Now I'm aging like a fruit fly.
I used to eat pizza and drink beer then wake up looking fresh as a daisy. Now I look at a pizza and feel myself expand two inches all over.
I used to bounce all over my country trying new things and experiencing adventures and relationships, learning and growing and partying and working. Now I count it a victory when I make it out of bed without calling the police and sounding like a psychotic joint popping symphony of bubble plastic.
I used to think old clothes were "fuddy duddy" and now I go into stores and think "kids wear the ugliest thing good lord have mercy what is this? Mickey mouse? I wore that when I was 11 and needed therapy from that most likely." and "what is this child doing selling me a latte aren't they supposed to be in elementary school WHERE IS THEIR MOTHER" and "surely they're not old enough to be dating and doing you-know-what *much scandalized tsking and hand clutching and handkerchief waving whilst seeking a fainting couch to faint upon and where are my smelling salts god damn.*
And while I've been thankfully quite athletic and active my whole life due to some good genetics and upbringing, that get-up-and-go (That's now got up and left.) has become a curse in disguise because a part of me never really expected the urge to suddenly lose my *** mind and run screaming from change rooms when I try on some lingerie or a bathing suit that doesn't resemble some type of apology and come face to face with something that starts with 'c' and rhymes with mellulite.
I used to resemble more carved statue but now it's giving...half melted candle.
Also I now am required to lean heavily on my personality and environment and I just...don't like it because there's no way I'm rich or funny or smart or stable enough to be doing that. I'm working on it but...the pandemic and other issues beyond my control including grief and loss swept my sea legs out from under me and I'm still in recovery. I was just getting them too. Fancy that.
But I will say today came with a couple wins.
1. I returned some unnecessary purchases.
2. With that return money I purchased a salad, and I chose said salad over a satanic cacophony of pastries.
3. Did I have a cookie earlier? Yes. Yes I did. But I had some whole wheat toast first and hard boiled a bonch of eggs to keep me protienated throughout the week. I also had it with a turmeric latte because I don't know why apparently it's healthy.
4. For dinner, instead of a bagel with cream cheese and a side of weeping for dinner I had a cauliflower, spinach and avocado wrap 😋 🌯
5. Was a fly buzzing around me like some Poe raven making me inordinately squeamish, causing me wolf down half of my burrito like a clown? Yes. Yes I did.
6. And did I blow up a vegan bathroom after trying their blended iced coffee and banana which may or may not have destroyed the hopes and dreams of the next person who went in? Absolutely yes. Yes I did. But pooping at my age is a parade worthy celebration so.
Anyway my upstairs neighbor is currently testing all the creakiest floorboards to make sure they're still noisy so I'm going to put my noise cancelling headphones on and blast some old lady music from the 90's whilst pretending I'm in Reno before I herniate myself into more fine lines and water weight than is absolutely necessary. I can't afford Botox or how I'd look in prison lighting so I'll talk to y'all later.
