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Most Validating Thing...

DichotomousDetia April 12th, 2022

What's the most Validating thing someone has said to you that you can remember?

How did it make you feel?
Did it help you in anyway?
Have you validated others?


Feel free to come back and add more if you have new validating experiences!

What is validation?

"Emotional validation is the process of learning about, understanding, and expressing acceptance of another person's emotional experience. Emotional validation is distinguished from emotional invalidation, when a person's emotional experiences are rejected, ignored, or judged." - VeryWellMind.Com-Validation


51
YoursMAD April 18th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia

Be true to yourself.

I feel this is really correct, if we are true to ourselves, then we won't do bad things so there won't is any negative impact on others' life. As we know everything has a reaction we will receive it as well.

I made my friends try it as well and they also felt the same.

brilliantTurtle89 April 18th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia

That I am enough as I am

Sunisshiningandsoareyou April 18th, 2022

Hey @DichotomousDetia, this is such a lovely post. Feeling validated has got to be one of the most beautiful, pure experiences ever. ❤️

I'm unable to recall exact words but I find it validating when someone says it's okay to feel as I do, and that I can and should allow myself to feel even the heavier emotions more often. (◔‿◔)

ASilentBunny April 18th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia That I am enough and that they are really grateful for having me in their lives

FrenchMarbles April 18th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia

Oh boyyy....

It was after I wrote a poem about s*xual abuse I went through, people finally believed me and I remember wanting to melt because I tried so hard to get people to understand what I went through.

1 reply
DichotomousDetia OP April 19th, 2022

@FrenchMarbles

That's super powerful, I'm glad folks were able to validate and treat you with compassion after that poem!

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Optimisticempath April 18th, 2022

Idk really but once someone here said that I can figure things out at my pace and that I'm enough as I am, it was nice to hear it

2 replies
DichotomousDetia OP April 28th, 2022

@Optimisticempath

That does sound validating! Being assured I could go at my own pace has been helpful for me too. It acknowledges we all do things our own way as individuals.

1 reply
Optimisticempath May 8th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia 🤗

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Erato April 18th, 2022

My partner told me I don't have to do something huge to impress them; even if I just do basic stuff like taking care of myself, they're already proud of me!

1 reply
DichotomousDetia OP April 28th, 2022

@Erato

Sounds like a compassionate and understanding partner, I'm glad you have them!

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hopezzy April 18th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia Even if you're strong there can be times when you feel weak and it's okay

After hearing this I felt its okay to feel weak sometimes it doesn't mean we are always weak its okay to experience vulnerable sometimes (:

GettingUp April 18th, 2022

You are loved.

It is funny because I heard it from a 55 year old street musician at a hotel. Not my parents, not my friends.

1 reply
BlueDarkAurora April 18th, 2022

@GettingUp You are loved <3 The nature, the universe, your own being loves you.

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FrozenGhost April 18th, 2022

Listeners say validating things, according to the definition of "emotional validation" provided above. It does not help or make me feel anything because it seems like empty platitudes to me. Anyone can say, "I understand".

2 replies
Litepanda April 19th, 2022

Yeah.. I get that. Some listeners treat us just like how their training teach them to do. Unfortunately, it just doesn't feel genuine.

One time when I talked to a listener, her response made me think if she could related to what I was talking about. So I asked if she ever experienced the same thing. And she said no. She's nice, and listen well. But that kinda made me wondered if she could truly understand all I had said before.

But apart from that, has anyone else ever made you feel validated?

DichotomousDetia OP April 28th, 2022

@FrozenGhost

At times I don't find platitudes very validating either. It helps for them to reflect what I'm talking about. You don't have to have been in my shoes to tell me that my emotional state is valid, and there's many ways to express validation without saying simply "I understand" which can have so many different meanings and nuances to the receiver of those words.

When someone says "I understand" I assume they can empathize because they've had that direct experience, but often someone who does 'understand' in that way can also reflect it in more than 2 words.

1 reply
FrozenGhost April 28th, 2022

@DichotomousDetia

If by "reflect what I am talking about" you mean those listeners who repeat back everything you say to them almost verbatim. That makes me crazy. This little voice in my head just wants to scream "stop repeating everything I say!" I think someone taught them that's supposed to make it seem like their are "actively listening" but it just makes me crazy. I can't tolerate it.

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