Most Validating Thing...

@Dallady

I really felt that ♥

🦊

I believe you.

@GoldenNest2727

🥰 Lovely example, I was going to say the same thing.

🦊

Ooooh, that’s a good one. 🌟

@GoldenNest2727

@DichotomousDetia

Recently it wasn't even said to me or knowingly, my boss complimented work I did 10 years ago without knowing I was responsible for it.

She later did it again by praising something I published without individual credit to my name.

@PhaseVelocity

Aw this is lovely to hear! I can understand that getting that praise when they didn't even know it was you would feel very validating!

🦊

@DichotomousDetia

dont really feel comfortable sharing

@DichotomousDetia

The most validating thing someone has recently said to me is that I am a good mother.

@DichotomousDetia Being told it is valid to feel how I feel

Being told that I've impacted their life in the smallest way. It just makes me feel good knowing I;ve been able to impact someone in a good way :)

When my staff notices how hard I work along side them.

A listener here told me that if I am unable to fit in a group that doesn't mean I am wrong (which I used to doubt recently). She said it's just because I have different sets of values and priorities to cater. It was really helpful for me .

@DichotomousDetia

I don't remember the exact words but I do remember it was a good feeling because someone respected me who normally never did. It helped me see that sometimes we are all struggling but that doesn't mean all bullies are bullies forever. I've tried to validate anyone I come by because of how I was treated badly when younger.

@DichotomousDetia

Be true to yourself.

I feel this is really correct, if we are true to ourselves, then we won't do bad things so there won't is any negative impact on others' life. As we know everything has a reaction we will receive it as well.

I made my friends try it as well and they also felt the same.

@DichotomousDetia

That I am enough as I am

Hey @DichotomousDetia, this is such a lovely post. Feeling validated has got to be one of the most beautiful, pure experiences ever. ❤️

I'm unable to recall exact words but I find it validating when someone says it's okay to feel as I do, and that I can and should allow myself to feel even the heavier emotions more often. (◔‿◔)

@DichotomousDetia That I am enough and that they are really grateful for having me in their lives

@DichotomousDetia

Oh boyyy....

It was after I wrote a poem about s*xual abuse I went through, people finally believed me and I remember wanting to melt because I tried so hard to get people to understand what I went through.

@FrenchMarbles

That's super powerful, I'm glad folks were able to validate and treat you with compassion after that poem!

Idk really but once someone here said that I can figure things out at my pace and that I'm enough as I am, it was nice to hear it

@Optimisticempath

That does sound validating! Being assured I could go at my own pace has been helpful for me too. It acknowledges we all do things our own way as individuals.

@DichotomousDetia 🤗

My partner told me I don't have to do something huge to impress them; even if I just do basic stuff like taking care of myself, they're already proud of me!

@Erato

Sounds like a compassionate and understanding partner, I'm glad you have them!

@DichotomousDetia Even if you're strong there can be times when you feel weak and it's okay

After hearing this I felt its okay to feel weak sometimes it doesn't mean we are always weak its okay to experience vulnerable sometimes (:

You are loved.

It is funny because I heard it from a 55 year old street musician at a hotel. Not my parents, not my friends.

@GettingUp You are loved <3 The nature, the universe, your own being loves you.

Listeners say validating things, according to the definition of "emotional validation" provided above. It does not help or make me feel anything because it seems like empty platitudes to me. Anyone can say, "I understand".

Yeah.. I get that. Some listeners treat us just like how their training teach them to do. Unfortunately, it just doesn't feel genuine.

One time when I talked to a listener, her response made me think if she could related to what I was talking about. So I asked if she ever experienced the same thing. And she said no. She's nice, and listen well. But that kinda made me wondered if she could truly understand all I had said before.

But apart from that, has anyone else ever made you feel validated?

@FrozenGhost

At times I don't find platitudes very validating either. It helps for them to reflect what I'm talking about. You don't have to have been in my shoes to tell me that my emotional state is valid, and there's many ways to express validation without saying simply "I understand" which can have so many different meanings and nuances to the receiver of those words.

When someone says "I understand" I assume they can empathize because they've had that direct experience, but often someone who does 'understand' in that way can also reflect it in more than 2 words.

@DichotomousDetia

If by "reflect what I am talking about" you mean those listeners who repeat back everything you say to them almost verbatim. That makes me crazy. This little voice in my head just wants to scream "stop repeating everything I say!" I think someone taught them that's supposed to make it seem like their are "actively listening" but it just makes me crazy. I can't tolerate it.

@DichotomousDetia "its ok to show anger"

PS : that same person left me when i was having sui cidal thoughts because i was the one who is unbearable, having issues and love to solve issues by creating them ....... all i ever asked him to stay , just stay for a little while because i am not feeling good ( he never knew that i was sui cidal at that time , but every time he got angry or stopped talking to me and threatened me to leave me i literally begged him to stop this and stay )

@RHassan

I'm so sorry you had that experience, it sounds really painful. Being rejected or abandoned while in a vulnerable state like sui has left me in an awful place. I hope it has gotten easier or will get easier in the future. You deserve support and you even deserve support in figuring out how to get the support that's healthy and safe for you.

My closest friend once said that it's completely okay to take time to recover from something really difficult and that recovery time isn't wasted at all and that felt really validating <3

I had trouble answering this tbh - I know people have said alot of validating things to me here but I guess the best was that I'm allowed to feel whatever I feel. Those feelings are valid and they're there for a reason

" And you kept it all inside, suffering on your own?! " These are just simple words said so long ago but I still hold them close cause they validated my every emotion, made me realize that I deserve help and that there are people who care so much to understand the things that were there beyond the words that I spoke.

❤️ Thank you for this post! I was told that I’m not a failure and that whatever happens, it’ll be okay. It was a helpful relief. And I love to validate others whenever I can! ❤️

@DichotomousDetia

I was told that they were proud of me for sticking to something that was really hard and I think that made me feel really happy and kind of relieved to hear. Im finally going to graduate after so long.

@GivenLemon

Hey, congratulations on your graduation! That's awesome!