I hate me.
hi. this is just a rant by a crazy teen who’s absolutely *** up and stupid. aka… me.
:/ idk what to say lmao. my rants are always so pathetic and pointless. :') like me. pathetic. pointless. meaningless.
i just feel so done tbh. ik i’m not done, i really can’t be right now… but i’m exhausted. of this house. of my head. of myself…
ik people say kind things to me here at cups and my friends are always so sweet and caring. and i appreciate that. but tbh i don’t really believe anything kind that’s said to me or any compliments. it’s *** hard to believe. it’s *** hard. because the truth is i’m a *** and i’m messed up and there’s really nothing good about this *** aka ni.
i just… hate me so much.
- ni
that rant was… hilarious. i’m so stupid like fr :') what the *** ni
@LoveMyMoonflowers This just hurts my heart to see you feel this way. I'm so sorry you are feeling tired and fed up. I'm so sorry you struggle to believe the kind things people say to you. May I ask though-- what reason do people have to lie to you? What benefit is there? I'm sorry you can't accept the things people say about you. But Ni, you are so special. You matter and are important. You are smart and kind and loving. You are talented. You have so many great qualities in you. I wish you could see and accept the good in you. I will keep you in my prayers my sweet 🌙 🌚 friend. I hope you are able to get out of this funk and get to feeling better. Hugs! Big hugs! 🤗
@YourCaringConfidant
mhm. *big hugs back*
@LoveMyMoonflowers Just to be clear, I am hearting your response for the hug back and not you doubting me. I mean every word I say is true. Read your friends' responses here, Ni. Then reread them again. You have people who care dearly for you. We all see the beauty and good in you. I hope one day you learn to truly ♡ yourself and accept yourself-- on good and bad days. Be kind to yourself, Ni. ♡
@LoveMyMoonflowers My dear friend Ni. Wonderful friend, it’s ok to feel like we are dumb or messed up, but when you start feeling that try to think about how we tell you your not. And better yet try to have some reasons why those feelings are not about the true you. CBT therapy teaches us that many of us have the same set of thoughts in our head - it’s really really common, and very human. CBT tells us how to spot these thoughts and how to argue with them effectively. If we learn it helps the first few times we try it, we get into the habit of not letting these thoughts take over.
Hi Ni!
It happens to me now and then. People don't have access to my inner life, only to what I do in the outside world. I might feel like a mess and behave nicely at the same time. People will judge me for what I do, not for how I feel.
Some people do good and feel bad (and unfortunately some behave awful and feel good).
You are very caring, supportive, and encouraging. You are bright, creative and fun. People judge you for all this. And they are right.
At the same time, you might feel awful on the inside from many possible causes.
Both things are real. You are a wonderful person and you might feel awful.
There is no contradiction.
I hope you apply all your intelligence and compassion to yourself, and start feeling better little by little until you feel well.
It might take time, but for sure you will get there.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
@HealingTalk
Thank you Marcelo 💙
You are welcome, Ni!
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ni *huge huge hugs if ok* i’m sorry you feel this way. and i get it sometimes even nice thing from people don’t seem genuine. i good that you can love yourself as much as i do. you’re so amazing and sweet and funny and kind and caring. i hope you can see that in you too one day lovely. i love youuuu. i’m here for you
@LoveMyMoonflowers Hey Moon 💙 I have to admit this post is relatable. Compliments are really hard to take and believe. You're not pathetic or pointless or meaningless. You're struggling and you're hurting. I hate that you're hurting so much right now 😞
@mytwistedsoul
Mhm… :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers *gasp* 😯 you just mhm me? What kind of mhm are we looking at here? Is it a sarcastic yeah right or an of course Soul you're absolutely right and I agree whole heartedly mhm?
Hope you know I'm just kidding 💙
* Hugs Moon tight*
@mytwistedsoul
lol. that made me smile. It was neither actually… probably a combination of the idk-what-to-say mhm and the sarcastic yeah right mhm. lol.
💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad it made you smile. I was hoping it would. I wish I could help more. I'm always just a tag away ok? *Sends hugs and lots of love* 💙💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Yea sure it's hard to believe compliments and take comfort, because you don't know if they're saying it for the sake of being nice or if they actually care. But when you're in doubt, look for proof.
When people say you're nice, caring, blah blah blah, they say that because of the messages you post on cups to them. So go through those, go through whatever you've sent to the other people, you'll find plenty proof of yourself being sweet. And when someone says you're strong, think about the things you go through, combine that with the fact you're still hanging on, and boom, proof.
So if you don't believe something, look for proof, you'll believe it.
Ciao moonie, take caree, and umm, ooga booga
I dont think you hate you. I think you hate the you that you think you are. If that makes sense.
Did you know that what you see in the mirror is not how other people see you? Your mirror image is flipped, meaning if you see a mark on your right in the mirror, people would see it on the left. So if you were to see an image on how you look like to others, you'd feel...weird, i guess.
That's how life is...we see ourselves in one way, and when people see us in a different way, we say "that cant be. Thats not what i see. Theyre making it up." But they arent. All of what they say is true, but uve never gotten the chance to see it, and when you do, its so different from what youre used to that you dont believe it.
We say you're nice because you're nice, flowers. We say you're helpful, and thoughtful, and caring not to say it but because thats what we see. Its not what you see, but that doesnt mean it isnt true. And maybe someday, you can see what we see too.
Idk if that made sense =D