Finally I'm about to open up and share
Hello there. Every time I want to start writing, the guilt of being exposed overwhelms me, thus I refrain from doing so.
But I was having technical problems and couldn't talk with listeners etc for about a month. It actually made me realize how opportunities can slip away and never return.
Fortunately here I am and I'm about to share this at the age of 17.
Yet I'm still refrain from sharing personal information etc, and some more stuff.
So please bare with me, I appreciate if you read.
So many opportunities that I lost, here I am, In about a year I turn adult, but that isn't important. I want to talk about lonely ness.
Through after some challenges I learned that you have to be thankful, it is better for you. So I'm not complaining over things, I have hope and I'm positive. All I ask is to read, and say if you was in a similar situation. I want to know if they are people who experience what I'm about to tell.
From a long time I didn't find a friend with similarities. I know friends aren't exactly the same, but I just befriend some girls who was children of my mother's friends.
Sometimes they were unrespectful, but I still continue my friendship with em. I didn't have a friend at my age. But they end their friendship with me after some time.
Please don't recommend school friends or joining communities, Im against most of my culture.
My father is 40 years older than me and my mom 35 years older than me. I have to brothers with 15 to 16 Year age gap. I told you this because in absence of a same age friend, I learned to be mature to get closer to my brothers.
That is part of the reason I'm more comfortable with adults than most teenagers. And I dislike most kids.
Part of the reason I can't find friends near me is that I'm an anomaly in my culture.
Here in my culture, girls should learn to cook, sew and make clothes, and stay quiet. My family wasn't like that, we value boy and girl equaly, but even my unculs or grandparents etc aren't like us. Except my grandpa I lost when I was about 5.
I'm an anomaly, I'm a girl who dislike Color pink, enjoy sports, enjoy video games and don't enjoy fashion. Yet I'm so emotional at the same time, but I lessons to my mind, and my heart.
I never was grounded, I don't think there was more than 10 times that I didn't listen to my father. I find good friends on cups but I was friend less for about a 16 years.
I don't think I would ever find love in my country, maybe a miracle would happen. I never had a boyfriend, not even a boy as friend. So please wish me success, and a True love.
I'm trying to grow, I know no relationship is perfect, but I'm trying my best to be ready for love. I am loyal and honest. And I have a longing for love. My mother probably had surgery in next week, please wish her success, too.
I apologize for grama errors, I learned English by myself when I was about 13 with the help of my bro. And I talked a lot, it was my first time talking about these stuff. I'm feeling lighter now.
@BlackBlueWhite
Hey. I'm so proud of you to open up your history. I heard you, girls and gneder should not be classified as the one who cooks, clean, give birth.
You are an amazing person, with unlimited potential.
Don't let others decide who you are.
Hug tight
@Apeatrice
Thanks for reading my nonstop writing, it means a lot to me.
You're the first person who replied to my post when I talked about what's on my mind.
I appreciate your kind words, and I give you my best wishes
@BlackBlueWhite You're post is so relatable to me fr. I'm proud of you for finally opening up, I know it takes guts, and I'm sorry you're culture thinks those things about women, my dads side does too so I get it. And I hope you're mothers surgery goes well, sending hugs if ok.
@Macylou82
You're such an empathetic person, and your way mature than your age.
Thanks for reading this, your kind words makes me feel better.
I'm sorry your father's side thinks this way.
@BlackBlueWhite Thank you for opening up. You did an amazing job.
@calmMango9611
Thanks, i appreciate it
Thank you for expressing yourself here🙏
You are courageous and brave! I applaud your determination to learn and grow as a person by yourself. You are amazing👏
I also had very few friends when i was young. I thought something was wrong with me, but that of course was not true! I spent alot of time alone and still do. I love to challenge myself and learn new things, as you do. And i dont try to fit in and be like everyone else either. As an adult I still only have a few friends, but they are very special and trustworthy and that is all I need.
You are beautifully unique and wonderful! Embrace your true self. Learn to truly, fully feel love for yourself because the right person for you is on the way to love and appreciate you. My true love found me at age 49, after i finally learned to love and appreciate myself 💕
Much love and admiration to you, brave soul💗
@1BraveBunny
Actually I'm thankful that are kind people like you that read my words.
You're amazing too!
I'm sorry you experienced these things, and I'm sorry you still experience looniness...
I'm glad you found some trustworthy friends.
I give you my best wishes too, your unic and beautiful, too!
Talking with adults make me feel better, thanks for your time
Oh and I didn't want to use black background, it just happened, oops
I completely understand how you feel about being vulnerable. I have felt this way before. For me, being vulnerable meant facing the risk of being judged for my beliefs or feelings, so I used to keep things to myself.
Growing up surrounded by people who had different viewpoints on personal matters, I understand why you might hesitate to open up to those around you. You don’t want to risk being rejected or having that information turned against you.
I have grown to be more open to people, but mostly online. Online, there is no one who knows me personally or my family, so I don’t have to risk the possibility of being rejected by those with whom I have grown up and whom I depend on to a certain degree. I don’t know if you will become more willing to open up like I have, but it’s a good start to begin doing it online with people who don’t know you personally.
I commend you for taking the first step, because I know that being vulnerable is an important step in developing friendships. I don’t have a lot of friends, but I am grateful for the ones I do have. Otherwise, I might become vulnerable to mistreatment, fearing being alone.
While we should not fear being alone, it’s also important to socialize with others to a certain degree. So, I hope you continue to be open to other people. I don’t want you to tolerate mistreatment from others, such as the disrespect you mentioned.
I’m concerned that your former friend ended your friendship instead of you, especially since you mentioned they were disrespectful to you. This situation worries me because by continuing to be friends with them after their disrespect, it might have unintentionally led them to believe that their behavior is acceptable. Without any apparent consequences, they may think it's okay to treat you that way.
I’m not sure how you handled their behavior, but based on the limited information I have, it seems like you didn’t set boundaries. It would have been helpful to express your feelings by saying something like, “I don’t like it when you do this or that. If it continues, I may have to rethink our friendship and, consequenly, end it to protect myself emotionally.”
If my assumption is correct, I’m afraid that jumping into a new relationship anytime soon might not be a good idea. A lack of boundaries can make you vulnerable to getting into a toxic relationship, where you could end up feeling emotionally hurt.
However, I hope that in the future, once you’ve learned to establish boundaries, you will find someone who truly respects you, whether as a friend or a partner.
Additionally, I hope your mother’s surgery goes well. I understand that her well-being might be causing you worry, and I wish for the best outcome.
@energeticPrune260
I sometimes keep things to myself, but sometimes not, depends on the situation.
Actually I opened to those who are trustworthy, and yes for some it was because of fearing they use information against me. But it isn't the whole reason. For some, I know they don't understand me, for some I know they would hurt me.
I don't think I have fear of being rejected, these days I rather be friendless compare to having a toxic friend.
I actually do it already, I have friends on 7 cups. And I still open up to trust worthy and close to one I know I shouldn't trust.
I think I'm in a good state actually when it comes to friendship, I think you little misunderstood me, and that is ok, it's because of lack of information I give.
I think I miss typed, I ended my relationship with toxic friends when they end it. And yes now that I come to think of it, they would think they actions was right.
But don't worry, I'm not like that anymore
Yes I have set my boundaries with my current friends, and if they hurt me I'll do something about like tell em and etc. thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
I learned to establish boundaries, that's why I ended all my other friendships with toxic friends who still were my friend.
Thanks for kind words, caring about me warms up my heart. And thanks for your wishes, and your time. Tc
And sorry for black background.
I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding. When I read that you mentioned, "Sometimes they were disrespectful, but I continued my friendship with them," it worried me because I thought you hadn't set boundaries while you were still friends with them. I have experienced how loneliness can make someone vulnerable to accepting mistreatment from others out of fear of being alone. So, I'm happy to see that your past friends allowed you to reach a point where you prefer to be alone rather than find yourself in an unhealthy friendship again.
@BlackBlueWhite thank you for opening up about this, blue. i know what it's like being the black sheep in a culture that behaves differently than how *you* want to behave and how you see things.
@KatePersephone
Thanks for understanding me Kate. I don't know what challenges you been through but I know your strong. Tc
Wow that's a story of a really strong girl
@BlackBlueWhite, a topic so many will relate to, I'm sure. You should be proud of yourself for making another step forward towards what you want, like friends and opening up here.
Your family sound really good, supportive and encouraging.
I wish you good friends, a great love and hoping your mother is successfully in her operation and has a speedy recovery.
@Cathylistens
Thanks for your kind words, strong wishes and reading my words. You inspired me to be a better human, tc.
I give you my best wishes, too.
Hi BlackBlueWhite, I can definitely relate to you. I was told ...little girls must be seen and not heard. But I was always loud and still am and only recently began to love my loudness and not feel ashamed or out of place by it. I didn't notice any grammar errors in your writing I only noticed a really brave human.
Thanks for sharing this with me, your amazing. I'm sorry your was told that way when you were a child... You're so brave, too.
I'm actually so glad that I didn't have Grama errors, this is a dream come true.
@BlackBlueWhite Hi BlackBlueWhite,
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. It takes so much courage to let yourself be vulnerable, and I truly admire that you’re taking this step. It’s clear you’ve faced a lot of unique challenges, but you also have such a reflective and resilient mindset, which is inspiring.
I relate to feeling like an "anomaly" and not fitting into the expectations of your surroundings. It can be isolating, but it also shows how deeply you value authenticity and staying true to yourself. That’s a rare strength.
When it comes to finding love or meaningful friendships, I believe the key is not to change yourself to fit others but to stay patient and keep nurturing who you are. The right people will see your worth and connect with your authenticity. Trust me, it’s better to wait for meaningful relationships than to settle for connections that don’t truly align with you.
If you’re working on personal growth and preparing yourself for love, I’d love to recommend an e-book I wrote called The Silence. It dives into topics like self-improvement, understanding emotions, and building a strong mindset. It’s especially helpful for people navigating loneliness, anxiety, or self-doubt. You can check it out here: The Silence.
Sending positive thoughts to you and your mom for her surgery. I hope it goes smoothly. And for you, I truly wish you find the success, love, and connections you long for. You’ve already shown you have the strength and determination to build a meaningful future. 💛
I read your massage and I'm feeling lighter, thanks for your kind and inspiring words.
Wow you wrote a book! That's shows some hard work, thanks for recommending it to me.
For all your wishes, I wish you the same, take care
@BlackBlueWhite Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really glad my message brought you a bit of lightness. It means a lot to me to hear that.
Yes, I did write an e-book, but it’s not a professional work; I’m not a professional writer. It’s something I created from my own experiences, lessons learned, and methods that helped me navigate challenges like anxiety and fear. The book isn’t just about advice. It’s about everyday struggles, personal stories, and insights from different perspectives that I’ve come across.
I put a lot of time and effort into it, so the price is more of a way to support me in continuing to write and share with others who might find value in it. Knowing that someone appreciates my work and effort is truly rewarding, and it motivates me to keep going. I’d love for you to take a look at it. It’s something from the heart, for others on their journey. Take care, and thanks again for your thoughtful reply!
