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energeticPrune260
2 604 M Embraced 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts78 Forum posts24 Forum upvotes43 Current upvotes43 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceNovember 17, 2024
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Is it just me, or is this what student friendships look like?
Student Support / by energeticPrune260
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I've noticed a concerning pattern among the friends I consider close. It seems that they have become increasingly unavailable. This unavailability manifests in a few different ways: for instance, there are times when I don’t hear from them for months on end, unless I take the initiative to reach out first. Even when I do make the effort to connect, their responses can be quite sparse. Often, they won’t reply unless I pose a question, seemingly assuming that I don’t expect a response otherwise. These friends are the first ones I’ve formed genuine connections with in real life, which makes me uncertain about what this behavior signifies. Is this typical for friendships in real life, or could it reflect something about my own judgment in choosing friends? Until now, I hadn’t really contemplated the possibility that I might not be good at choosing compatible friends. In contrast, my interactions with people I’ve met online tend to feel markedly different—more fulfilling because there's a sense of mutual investment in those connections. Still, I can't help but wonder if I am gravitating toward individuals who, for some reason, are consistently unavailable. This leaves me feeling confused and unsure about what is normal in friendships in real life. I genuinely want to understand whether others have faced similar experiences. Is this kind of behavior common, or am I perhaps overlooking some underlying issues in my social circles? I’d appreciate any insights from those who might have navigated similar friendships or relationships.
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Dealing with disappointment towards a mother
Family & Caregivers / by energeticPrune260
Last post
 December 9th, 2024
...See more My mother has been in an on-and-off relationship for years. At first, I was happy for her since she had been single for a long time before meeting him. I overlooked the fact that he didn't seem like a responsible person; he had been in jail for driving under the influence, and it was suspicious that there were times when I didn't see him for days or even weeks. I minimized the situation, telling myself that his job required him to be away sometimes. However, that was not the case. My mother and I discovered that he was living with another woman to whom he was giving money instead of paying child support for his child. We found this out when the woman showed up at our house one day looking for him, mistakenly thinking he lived alone. We find out about the latter, when we received a letter from the police department or the court notifying us that he was not paying child support. After some time, he continued to go back to this other woman, and my mother's mother-in-law even advised her to leave his belongings at that woman's house. My mother considered ending the relationship, but in the end, she didn't. He returned after serving time in jail for hitting that woman. She believed he wouldn't come back to her, so she allowed him to stay at our place. However, after the other woman came looking for him twice and after multiple fights between my mother and him, she finally took his belongings and left them at that woman's house. Even though she remained in contact with him instead of blocking him like I suggested, I held onto the hope that I wouldn’t have to see him again. Unfortunately, that hope didn't last long. Months later, he knocked on our door late at night while my mother was sleeping because she had work the next day. She woke up and came to my room to tell me it was him and asked me to open the door. I was infuriated with her because I wanted her to ignore him or tell him that if he didn't leave, she would call the police. I refused to open the door, which led her to go and open it herself. I am once again disappointed in her. After years of being in this situation, she still doesn’t listen to anyone. I wish she had more self-respect and could stand up for herself, but I don’t think that will ever happen because she has always been the type of person to let others walk over her without taking action. I don't know how to cope with watching someone I care about treat herself like this.
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Dealing with disappointment toward a mother
General Support / by energeticPrune260
Last post
 December 28th
...See more My mother has been in an on-and-off relationship for years. At first, I was happy for her since she had been single for a long time before meeting him. I overlooked the fact that he didn't seem like a responsible person; he had been in jail for driving under the influence, and it was suspicious that there were times when I didn't see him for days or even weeks. I minimized the situation, telling myself that his job required him to be away sometimes. However, that was not the case. My mother and I discovered that he was living with another woman to whom he was giving money instead of paying child support for his child. We found this out when the woman showed up at our house one day looking for him, mistakenly thinking he lived alone. We find out about the latter when we received a letter from the police department or the court notifying us that he was not paying child support. After some time, he continued to go back to this other woman, and my mother's mother-in-law even advised her to leave his belongings at that woman's house. My mother considered ending the relationship, but in the end, she didn't. He returned after serving time in jail for hitting that woman. She believed he wouldn't come back to her, so she allowed him to stay at our place. However, after the other woman came looking for him twice and after multiple fights between my mother and him, she finally took his belongings and left them at that woman's house. Even though she remained in contact with him instead of blocking him like I suggested, I held onto the hope that I wouldn’t have to see him again. Unfortunately, that hope didn't last long. Months later, he knocked on our door late at night while my mother was sleeping because she had work the next day. She woke up and came to my room to tell me it was him and asked me to open the door. I was infuriated with her because I wanted her to ignore him or tell him that if he didn't leave, she would call the police. I refused to open the door, which led her to go and open it herself. I am once again disappointed in her. After years of being in this situation, she still doesn’t listen to anyone. I wish she had more self-respect and could stand up for herself, but I don’t think that will ever happen because she has always been the type of person to let others walk over her without taking action. I don't know how to cope with watching someone I care about treat herself like this.
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How to deal with the disappointment I feel toward my mother?
General Support / by energeticPrune260
Last post
 December 8th, 2024
...See more My mother has been in an on-and-off relationship with someone. At first, he seemed like a good guy, except for the fact that he didn't appear responsible when it came to driving, as he had been in jail for driving under the influence. However, he seemed responsible in his work. It wasn't until later that I discovered the real reason I hadn’t seen him for several days or even a week: he was actually staying at another woman's house. My mother and I found this out when the woman came to our place, believing he lived alone. At one point, she tried to break up with him because he always went back to this woman. However, she hesitated because she thought he would finally decide to stay with her. For a while, he did, until the other woman came looking for him at our place. Legally, he was not allowed to come close to her because he had hit her during a fight. Despite this, he went to talk to her, which resulted in an argument between my mother and him. When he decided to return to the other woman, my mother finally made the choice to leave his belongings at her house. Even after I advised her to block him, she remained in contact with him. Last night, he knocked on our door, and my mother told me to open it for him. I refused because I was frustrated with her; it's been years of this cycle, and she continues to lower herself to someone who doesn't seem to respect or care about her feelings. Now, I am disappointed in her for not showing more self-respect and for not standing up for herself by preventing him from entering our lives again—especially knowing that he continues to send money to that woman instead of fulfilling his responsibility by paying child support to his ex, who is in another country.
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Memories of a lost friendship
General Support / by energeticPrune260
Last post
 November 20th, 2024
...See more This is my first time posting anything here. Even though I feel uncertain about it, I'm doing what I do best when I'm unsure of how to handle my feelings: writing about them and seeing if others can relate to what I'm going through. I have lost count of the many times I've thought about the friendship I used to have here before I forgot how to log back into my old account a few months ago. Every time I reflect on it, I wonder if I could have avoided losing contact with the only person I could truly call a friend. I don’t consider everyone I talk to or have talked to as a friend. For that to happen, I must feel comfortable enough with someone to open up. My friend provided me with that sense of security and trust. Beyond just understanding, they took the time to listen to me talk about my anxiety. I cherished the fact that I could share anything with them, from trivial topics like my favorite smoothies and cheese to more personal matters that required me to be vulnerable, such as my long-distance relationship. Our conversations often led to writing paragraphs that would bring smiles to our faces. I miss those little things and appreciate them knowing that I can no longer create new memories with someone I consider a friend.
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