My little disability space [TW]

My mom is going to call the doctor for my knee tomorrow 

@AvyIsKing you jumped out of a tree 😂😂 ohhhh! No! What are we gonna do with you😂😂 did you at least have fun with your friend??!

and yaaaay! It's about time she phoned the doctors. Please let me know how it goes. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

yess! We were running from a lady who was... scary to say the least 😅😅 tmr we are going to a town to walk around!

@AvyIsKing oh no a crazy lady😂😂😂 have fun looking around town ❤ just avoid scary people and trees ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

We went to an aquarium!!!! I got to see the stingrays which are my favorite animal like ever and they make me so happy and my mom paid for me to feed them and I am just so happy right nowwwww

Hurting but happpyyyy

@AvyIsKing awwww aquariums look like their fun ❤ what's a stingray?? I'll look it up. Did you see seahorses?? I'm glad your happy, and having fun ❤ I wish you weren't in pain though.

@Tinywhisper11

stingrays are my favorite animal!!!!! Also i did see seahorses (: they are funky! My mum forgot to call the dr yesterday but remembered to do something not important for my sister so I'm just kind of done (:

@AvyIsKing wow😍 is that a type of fish??? Ok get a bunch of post it notes. Write "ring the doctor" and stick them everywhere around the house, and one in your mum's forehead. How are you feeling??

@Tinywhisper11

she called and left a message. Im in a lot of pain and i was having a nerve issue and she blew it off, said i was sitting weird. I wasnt 

@AvyIsKing 😟how long does it normally take for the doctor to get back to you??

@Tinywhisper11

i dont know ): usually a week sometimes less, but the doctor is unavailable on Wednesdays because that's when hes in surgery so i probably won't here back until atleast tomorrow

also yeah a stingray is a fish! Its more closely related to sharks :0

they called, appointment is tuesdayyyyy

@AvyIsKing yaaaay! Ok that's good. Make sure you tell your doctor, how unbearable the pain gets ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

i plan on it. Im seeing the surgeon, not a nurse and I'm gonna tell him like im so jist tired of all of this 😅

@AvyIsKing Good luck! When I go to an appointment I try and write out notes of what I want to say and any questions I want to ask, that way if I need to I can always give them the notes so they understand.

Listening - One Step At A Time! - Written with no AI!

@MistyMagic

i usually try and do that, but they never believe what i say for some reason 😞

@AvyIsKing that is awesome, what a treat! Have you seen this https://www.national-aquarium.co.uk/secrets-of-the-aquarium/  they did a tv program in the Uk so not sure if you can see it but they have stingrays and they show them in close up detail.

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@MistyMagic

:0 I will totally definetly have to watch that :0 they are so fascinating and they are my favorite animal and im just a mild bit obsessed with them ahehehe thank you so much :0 and if i cant access it, ill use a VPN changer 

@AvyIsKing maybe try You Tube too?

Listening - One Step At A Time! - Written with no AI!

@AvyIsKing I'm so glad your seeing him ❤❤ I don't need to be in any more pain, but just do a few star jumps, in the morning before you see him😁 have fun in band tonight ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11

hmmm I will probably do that, i just want help 😅

i will. Not in the greatest place mentally but my comfort person is there so i can have a hug

@AvyIsKing awww I wish I could give you a hug too ❤ and please don't really do the star jumps😂😂 hopefully band will help you feel a bit better mentally, I'm right here if you ever need to talk or vent ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I'm ok, just thinking 😅 i love you ❤️

@AvyIsKing nooooo! Don't think. It's bad for your health!!!!!!

Hugs you back ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I try not to think, just, I dunno 

My knee turned purple.

My mom blamed me. 

My friends wanna know why im so thin. Why i always lool over my shoulder. Why i shudder when someone talks to me

why i always look like i wanna cry

my friend most likely has a tumor she needs removed

why is my life this way? Im just a kid

@AvyIsKing you are just a kid, and you should be slowed to be living like a kid. It's very sad that this is your situation😥  it's like your being forced to grow up way to early😞 it's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry this is all happening to you.

but guess what! Being a adult, doesn't mean you have to grow up and loose the child in you. Did you have a good time in band?? Are you nervous about your doctor appointment??

hugs you tightly ❤❤ it's all gonna be ok ❤

@Tinywhisper11

band was band. I got a hug from my friend. Idk it just was. Im not nervous for my doctor's appointment, i just genuinely just need help

@AvyIsKing I really hope they will hurry up and help you. Your really struggling mentally right now, I know 😥 it's hard, it's a challenge, but it's nothing you can't get through. You've already gone through the worst part of life, and your still going strong. It's all gonna be ok ❤ ❤ I love you ❤

@Tinywhisper11

i love you too ❤️ i guess im just having a rough week? Maybe things will get better (: i got 2 days until my doctors appointment, i get to see my grandma tomorrow (not the sick one, the really nice one, my moms mom) two fridays from now is my band concert which means i can have my mom drop me off at the church super early and not pick me up til after, meaning it will just be me and my friends all day, which will be really relaxing. 

The only thing i wish was that i wasnt alone. Like in real life. i was in a really bad crisis two nights ago and I messaged all my people at like 11:30 being like hey i cant be alone rn can you stay awake with me for a bit? No one messaged, except my one friend who an hour later said sorry cant help. These sre people ive stayed up for, people ive put myself in harms way for, people who said they loved me. It wasn't just one person, it was 5. I just wish someone cared

@AvyIsKing awww sweetie 😟 I'm so sorry, it seems like most people only think of themselves. But not everyone does, some people are genuinely good people, like you ❤❤ is your mum and sister gonna watch your concert. If I was there I'd embarrass you, by crying with pride and occasionally shouting "I know that girl, she's my frien d, woohooogo avvvvyyyy " 😁 I hope you have fun seeing your nic e grandma. If she offers money, take it!!😁 I love you ❤ and your right it's just a bad week, better times are coming, you'll see ❤❤ stay safe sweetie ❤

@Tinywhisper11

awwwww 🥺🥺 yes my mum ane sister are going, might convince my friend to go as well. Im super excited 🥺 also you can't embarrass meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i dont get embarrassed (: id love to have you there. We are playing 7 peices which is a new record for me 😭 its a lot of work and pressure because i now play a higher part but im so excited

i love you so much lola ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@AvyIsKing your gonna be amazing, have wish I could be there to hear you ❤❤ must be quite nerve wracking though. Your very brave, a star 🌟 goodluck at the doctors tommorow. Let me know how it goes ❤❤ tell them what the pain is like when it's at its worst ❤

@Tinywhisper11

im never worried before a concert unless i have a solo. this one is going to be sad because its my last with a few people i love dearly. <3 and i totally will, im more scared for that. my knee hasn't been hurting much the last day or 2 and im scared they are going to say its no big deal and just be like ur fine go home 

@AvyIsKing yep! They will. My carers tell me you gotta tell the doctors how you are on the worst day, and make sure they know it's more bad than it is good. They need to see you at your worst, that way they will help you quicker ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

thats what my plan is, but if its not super bad or they offer like some insane test my mom is gonna be like 

oh no she fine it doesn't even bother her anymore, even though last night it was swollen

Woooo!!! Doctors appointment in a few!

Im nervous and scared but hopeful!

Imma do squats til it hurts 😭

So

i tore something in my knee but i missed what the dr said xD its healing naturally and is almost done so no worries there 

hOwEvEr my knee cap is mis-aligned so it shifts wayyyyy to the outside whenever i bend it.

so im going back to physical therapy

the dr said i have more issues but they'd have to do an MRI to see what said issues are and im having a test done in like 3 weeks so just do that instead 

its been a while so i thought id update my diagnosis (: just wanted a general post of all of the things out there. if its marked old its from before i made this post originally in December! new is after that post xD

plantar fasciitis (old)

tendonitis of the plantar fascia (old)

cavus foot deformity in right foot (old)

tripod of the right foot (old)

arthritis of the foot (new)

severe cavus deformity in both feet (updated old diagnosis)

severe chronic pain (new)

unsteady gait (new)

pigeon toed (don't know the correct term for thisssssss) 

anddddd patella-tracking disorder :D

im so broken TvT 

PT is working

that pisses me off and scares me

i went to pt when the issue started and if i couldve fixed it then , i will have been in pain for 2 YEARS for nothing

also what if the pain goes away then comes back

like my foot tendon doesnt feel like a rock rn but what if it does

I don't wanna be in pt til i d!e

or what if we decide this worked and stop doing all the dr stuff and it comes back and i have the start over and just