My 7 Cups Dream Journal

Not being able to post here probably made that all even worse.

Cleaning is allowed to be something that brings you peace even if you injure yourself while doing it (you can injure yourself doing anything). I also praise you highly for setting boundaries with your mom. I am sorry if your therapist didn't focus on that enough. I am also sorry that your aunts continue to not understand your needs.

I can imagine that it all feels pretty lonely and tiring right now. I am going to be slightly with your therapist on the gaming group though. You do deserve to be less lonely and spread your friend circle just a little. But take it slow and when you are ready for it. But if the gaming group doesn't feel good, maybe a library reading group would be worth a try. 

Remember that therapy appointments are often tough, especially right during and after them. Then a few days later you begin to feel a little looser and more at peace. I am hoping that will happen for you here. I continue to be impressed by your strength.

Still struggling a bit from my end. My stress levels are really high as I watch those around me struggle. I also don't know about my job because we still aren't allowed back on campus.

@integrityblues This dream seems like it carries a lot of emotions tied to change, loss, and a sense of responsibility. The house, once yours, represents a part of your life that feels distant yet familiar, perhaps something you’ve moved on from but still holds significance. The kittens symbolize vulnerability or something fragile in your life that you feel responsible for. The older dead cat could signify the passage of time, loss, or the consequences of neglect. Watching the kittens grow into adult cats may reflect hope or the realization that things can still flourish despite challenging circumstances. How do you feel after having this dream?

I’m so exhausted. Earlier today I accidentally left my cane at home when I left to get coffee and prescriptions. I stumbled around but my balance was good enough to stay upright- I was just so very sore once I got home with all of it and lunch.

I took such a long break but finally went outside to take care of the trash cans that needed cleaning. Every single one smelled awful so I soaked and soaped the trash cans and recycle bins, hosed the property and paid special attention to my other neighbor’s stoop with soap water and scrubbing with my broom.

I came back inside to clean up the cat water bowl I accidentally dropped into the muddy flowerbed and refill it with more water.

I drank two bottles of water on my break then left to go to Target to pick up my orders of mouthwash, rubbing alcohol, a hair brush and more floss picks. I also got a cheap thing of sour watermelon gummies as a reward for all my hard work today.

I took another shower then soaked my sore feet in warm water with Epsom salts.

I’m hoping to get a big load of laundry done and do some shopping with my food stamps tomorrow.

I dreamt about my mom and younger sister. We were living in an unfamiliar motel and they kept following me around as I was stocking up on snacks so I could hang out in the motel room and watch cable TV, but they just kept trying to tell me horrible news and I wasn’t very interested. They kept telling me that something bad would happen to me if I was alone.

Its interesting because I had my call with my mother yesterday and she revealed that my younger sister had been staying there for days or a week and I kept stumbling over asking how my sister was doing (because I don’t want my mom to tell me all the bad news but my sister has also been making other *** accounts to friend me after I muted her other account on messenger) and my mom said things were copacetic. So I pretty much only spoke about the dog and my mom and what was going on with me.

I woke up to an email warning me that my electric bill was late which freaked me out because I thought that we were getting our climate credit this month. I ended up canceling an Amazon order I made yesterday that hadn’t shipped yet so I could pay the electric bill today. I might be able to pay my other bills and not bounce those checks like last month since my travel funds should come between the 22nd and 25th and I’ll deposit it that day and cross my fingers.

I’ll ask my aunt who goes to Costco if she could get me the Vitamin B2 I just canceled.

Lots of little things in there but it sounds like you are managing them fairly well.

I am glad that you survived the call with your mom without spiraling into their drama too much. 

It sounds like you worked hard but in a good way. The bill thing sounds stressful, but you did okay in trying to figure it out. 

How are you doing taking care of yourself eating wise?

Sorry my message is a bit short. We are due to get hit with a second hurricane in the middle of the week. I am very, very anxious about it and the panic attacks have started back up. Doing my best to manage everything by trying to help others. But it is brutally hard right now. 

Eh, I did the grown up thing and finally called my dentist office to ask about my coverage for the upcoming procedures (they didn’t get it and we just made the appointments for cavity drilling and filling and the wisdom teeth removal).

I’m getting the cavities treated this Friday. The wisdom teeth have to come out on my birthday, the only day that the specialist is coming in so I’m not going to have a fun Halloween.

After reaching out to my aunts both basically said they couldn’t do anything aside from maybe an Uber if it wasn’t too pricey. Then suggested my cousins help to only text back that it wasn’t going to be possible either. I said fine, that I was talking to my best friend about it, but my aunts were still adamant that I should be able to make a three minute trip home myself (it’s 15 minutes on foot) but the dentists office won’t let me get it done unless I have someone to drive me home due to the general anesthesia being used.

I think they won’t let me go alone because of the liability; me fainting while walking home or some other thing. My friend who still has plans for Halloween said that she didn’t like the idea of me getting into a strangers car while possibly loopy on the meds, so she said she’d work something out and get me home.

I did all this while doing a massive load of laundry, then because everything took so much time between the work and all the back and forth texting I had no time to eat or shower before my drs appointment in the afternoon.

I made it there fine. My appointment was okay, my blood pressure was pretty good, and I have to give them a sample to do a routine test for h. pylori. Ugh, I’m just so tired!

I didn’t even have the energy to walk up to the stray cat we all love so much. I’d spotted him across the street from my house, napping beneath a car. I told myself that it was best to let the little guy sleep since I had a nice experience petting him the day before.

I would have posted about my dream but I woke up from it suddenly when I got a video call on *** messenger from my mom. I answered and instead saw my younger sister on the screen but couldn’t hear her.

I turned up my volume, checked that I wasn’t muted, then hung up to chat at her about what was wrong. I thought it was an emergency since she must have taken our mom’s phone and used her apps to call at 3:30 a.m. so told her I couldn’t hear her and to call 911 instead.

She replied that she wanted to know if what she was experiencing was real and that from my reaction and the look on my face she was unrecognizable. She said she didn’t steal from mom and didn’t mean to scare me and that non emergency people are trying to steal her identity.

I told her to answer the phone and she used the messenger phone again that I can’t hear her through. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and why did she think people were trying to steal her identity?

She refused and said she wouldn’t tell me unless I showed my face.

I said that I live alone and already explained that I couldn’t hear her.

She tried to give advice about how to access permissions and it took me almost 20 minutes to realize that I’d given microphone permission on messenger and that it was likely she was muted or something else was wrong.

She said that she was tired and I should lock my doors, check my shower and tub and closets, and hide our father’s ashes.

I told her that our father was safe at our aunt’s house and I was safe too because I lock my doors. I asked her why she couldn’t call through mom’s phone not using the app but she never answered.

I’m too awake to really go back to sleep and I’m already thinking of washing just enough dishes to eat cereal for breakfast.

I’ll take a nice hot shower and get ready for gamer’s group but before I leave I’ll try and call my mom again and see if anything is wrong.

I dreamt that I was walking and attempting to smoke cigars with my best friend. It probably was drawn from a memory of us and another friend trying grape flavored cigarillos plus the fact I had a nice long talk with her yesterday because of the new family drama.

I called my mom to see how she was doing this morning since she can’t call out because Spectrum won’t let her pay her mobile bill with cash.

My mom says she’s doing okay and my sister is fine. I just wanted to make it clear to her that I’ve not blocker her, I’ve just blocked her and my sister’s *** accounts from sending me messages or calling on messenger because I don’t want to be woken up at 3 in the morning again with drama. She’s okay with that.

We spoke a little more but she really had to go outside to smoke a cigarette even though she has a horrible “pollution” cough that I think is really just COPD or a cold.

I’m going to brush my teeth then head out to the dentist so my cavities can be drilled and filled. I’ll take the bus from there to pick up some soft stuff to eat while I’m waiting for the numbness to go away. If I’m feeling better after I’ll do my Friday trash day chores while listening to music or an audiobook.

I hope you’re doing okay, bestVase!

I am okay but we have no internet, no electricity and no clean water. I am hoping to be back on soon and actually read messages but it may be a few days.

I woke up with my dumb period. I’m not as prepared for it as I want to be but I’m working through it even though it sucks. I’m just sore and tired.

I had another cavity that I either forgot about or they missed during the exam. At first the dentist was worried about the depth of each one and said I might need a root canal. Thankfully I didn’t need one, just a standard drilling or filling.

It took so long that I left the dentist and went to my therapy appointment early instead of going home to rest.

The therapy was okay. Talked about the stuff about my sister and mom and my worries over even more dental work.

When it was over I took a slightly longer route to head home by taking a bus that would stop near my grocery store so I could pick up more soft foods and ice cream. Then I walked the rest of the way home.

I’m resting for now and will get up soon to brush and floss. I have to prepare for my Zoom call tomorrow too.

I hope that things are going a little better for you.