Loneliness on 7Cups

Hello, i am Vee i recently broke up with my best friend but i cant seem to move on the loneliness is too much for me

I got ghosted by my long distance significant other on Monday and I miss him so Much and I can't stop crying. I'm so deceatated. I'll never be able to be happy again I feel

Hey all.

I'm friendless. I'm super lonely and not in a physical place where I can go and make friends. How does a twenty something without friends or family deal with years of lonliness overflowing the lonely cup and spilling over? I can't do the things that most are told when wanting to make friends, as I'm stuck out in the country. I read, draw, work with animals (horses), listen to music, do yoga, attempt to meditate and so on. What else is there? How many 'self dates' do I have to go on before the lonliness gets better? Any advice?

Thanks.

-L

@NomadicLoner

I hear you! Fancy a chat?

@Nwbie10

I'm always down for a chat :)

@NomadicLoner would love to hear from you

Heyo, I'm Rob from Canada.
I've got a bit of a different angle which is really tricky to talk about because we all have different beliefs. But I've been stuggling a lot with feeling very alone as an empath and intuitive (as ironic as that may sound.) This is a tricky topic to even bring up because I'm often called crazy, a liar or people go off on me from a religious perspective. Truth is, this has nothing to do with religion, but I'm extremely energetically sensitive, always have been. I'm constantly overwhelmed with feeling the emotional states of both those around me and also the collective. The rabbit hole goes much deeper, still - I'm also tuned in to beings that most people can't perceive. (I'm also a channel and a medium) Finally, I have memories of being different people in previous life times in different places. SO you can imagine how I've learned to just keep my mouth shut. But it's devistatingly lonely when you can't express, let alone express experiences that are so profound that this reality seems black and white by comparrison. I don't have a single person IRL to talk to about these things. Even those closest to me just roll their eyes at me, so I just accept being ignored. It's really come to a head lately though, for some reason it's getting to me more than ever. I want to be able to share my gifts and unique perspective with the world, but the world just tells me to sit down, shut up and get back in line. It's a feeling so awful I really don't have words for it. Even among talking online with other empaths and intuitives, it is often unsatisfying because the spectrum of being able to perceive like we do is SO vast, so we tend to be as unique as our fingerprints which can make it difficult to relate even to one another.

Anyways, that's me coming out of the intuitive-weirdo closet. I'm not even sure what my goal in posting this here is, whether it's validation or commrodery. But it's really been bothering me on a deep level for a while, so here we are.

@newschooled hey, I am sorry that you are feeling lonely and you dont feel you have anyone to share your special gift with. You are right all empaths are different and all have different special gifts many dont understand that they have. Try to stay positive. You are awesome and unique.

@newschooled I hear you. I've learned to keep quiet about what I notice because most of the time people would prefer not to know, or have it known by others.

Hello this is Priyanka from India .. do we have any Indian women here to connect ? Need a listener to help or hear me please thanks Priyanka

hello .. call me lea and I'm sad for a long time .. it's always about me and my mother. hard to explain, shes a narcistic and ignores me. but right now, she wanted me to work for her. she often complained and spoke the wrong things about me to the family. I seem to have no pride

Hey people I hope you were having a nice day.

@communicativeSail3498 have a good day too to you!

I've had loneliness issues before; but living alone during the shut down really has taken this to a whole new level. I go through go and bad phases, right now it is a bad one.I know I have to keep moving but it is hard.

@lovehummingbirdsCindy

Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with loneliness. I understand how you feel. I recently moved to a new state, away from my family. I was really hoping to make new friends, but it is hard especially during this pandemic. I have noticed that many people feel this way. We are all feeling lonely, but we are not alone! Let's get through this one day at a time. its much easier said than done, but when we fight these kind of battles, we come out as a much stronger person. You are not alone. Keep moving forward and have hope! Things will get better. God bless and stay safe!

@wishfulRose80 Thank you!

I am a 73-year-old who is married to a 77 year-old who farms and helps my son but he is kind of a workaholic - I have friends but still not enough to feel not lonely so am just looking for a forum. I think I am doing what would be suggested but still most of my friends have husbands and do things with them but my husband is h*ll bent on working when the timing is right which is understandable for a farmer but his priorities are not mine. We are also considering elder care when time comes

@independentlemon09- ah, another "senior" citizen. Welcome to the many opportunities to touch base with others. It seems we can never have too many friends to support us. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving this year.

I have severe lonliness even though I am constantly around people. and I feel guilty for feeling lonely because deep inside i feel like i shouldn't feel that way, but i do. on the outside everything looks normal but on the inside it's the exact opposite and i dont know how i keep myself going sometimes ;(

hi I’m ila. I’m struggling with depression, a skinpicking disorder and a recent coeliac disease diagnosis which has sort of messed up all of my eating and stuff. I have lots of friends (in school) but yet I’m still so lonely. I literally am completely unable to put myself before anyone I care about, which means I am currently supporting at least four of my friends at all times, looking after my brothers and helping my parents who are under incredible pressure with work (doctors) which is really damaging home life. Everyday I go into school with a smile and everyone thinks I’m fine and they tell me all their problems and I take them in my back ontop of all of my own, and as they slowly get better I am getting worse. I can’t tell anyone how I feel. I hide all the times I cry. If I let them see I am so terrified I will affect them, but I feel so completely alone.

Anyway I hope you guys have a good day tomorrow and feel better soon x

@owo123 Hi Ila - so good to see you here talking about how you feel - it is great to be there for others but don't forget to take care of you too! You deserve compassion, a listening ear, someone to take your problems too as well.

I've been really struggling with extreme loneliness lately. Even before covid hit it was hard for me to make friends. Something really traumatic happened to me last year and when I opened up to someone who I thought was a friend, she told me she couldn't handle what had happened and stopped talking to me. I find it hard to open up to others about what's happened as I feel everyone else will leave me. My family doesn't understand and feels like I need to just put this all behind me but I can't. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'll be alone forever.

@compassionateSpruce8482

Same situation here. I cannot tell anybody my feelings, nobody understands.

@crimsonPenguin7073

I find myself wanting to have someone to talk to every single day. I can communicate with my therapist but not that often or else i feel like a burden.

@brookeelizabb- it is human nature to communicate with someone else every day. We really are social animals. Definately not needy to express this basic desire. Take care.

@brookeelizabb I feel the same, be my bestie

I dunno what to do about my life

Hi everyone, I'm Sia. I'm new here and thought I'd introduce myself, so bear with me. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am bisexual; my parents are pretty okay about it, but generally choose to ignore it. I have very few friends, and am feeling increasingly lonely and stressed recently so I thought to reach out here.
I'm not really sure what to say now so yeah.

Hi, I'm Andy, I have diagnosed with depression and undiagnosed anxiety, it has been creeping out lately during the pandemic and I feel helpless and I personally hate therapy as I feel vulnerable, so I reached out to this site to get some help, also, I'm bisexual and I don't know how to tell my parents.

i'm lost i can feel everything at the same time it's been 4 years now, i've been dealing with a lot probably like everyone else here but the thing is i've been seeing this room mentally in my head and i've even drawn it out it looks like a white void with me in the middle and sooo many ppl surrounding each person seems to have a circle around them and that circle is full of ppl except for mine my circle is so thick tho it looks like a wall and every time someone comes in and leaves my circle i feel insane amount of pain i don't know if it's normal or not i hope it's not something bad

@helloLake2244- I am imagining a door in your personal circle- that leads out to this supportive community. Welcome to 7 cups- we reach out to you.

@Laura

I'm struggling through everything by myself despite having a mom who would be more than willing to take me to therapy. I don't want to waste her money and I don't want her to think she's a bad parent since my sibling has recently recovered from a disorder and she only has two children.

But the problem is: I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose myself with depression or anxiety and have no way of knowing for certain if I'm "really" experiencing things like depersonalization or if I'm just being dramatic. I'm trying to shrink into the background but I feel like I'm being left behind by my peers who are applying for collages, finding passions, making friends, and getting jobs.

A major, driving factor of my dangerously-low self-esteem is my body-image. I just hate the way my body looks and am always trying to lose weight through diets and exercise. I lost it all and way happy for a few weeks before developing BED (binge eating disorder) and now I'm always worried about unexpected take-out and vacations where I'm expected to pig out. I'm always worrying about how I'm such a disappointment and how my parents must miss their little girl who was confident and happy. but when I think about my younger self, I only remember how obnoxious and inconsiderate I was. I know it doesn't really mean much now, but I still see those people all the time at school; the ones who know how annoying and terrible I was. I am worrying about college and what career path I'm going to take and about trying to find passion again for hobbies like drawing, gaming, and piano. I'm always worrying about the future and the past and I never actually live in the present and have fun. I'm always trying to distract myself from the "right now" and the not-so-distant future of applying for collages by watching the same Youtube videos over and over (which I heard was a sign of mental illness?). I waste every single day by not practicing piano, not growing my skills, not talking to people or going out (even in a non-pandemic world, this is what I would be doing). I haven't lived since the day before I started down the spiral of BED. My whole life has been a hurricane of turbulent emotions, and alienation from people I know and beating myself up (physically and mentally) and just having an all-around horrible time this past year. I am realizing that I broke myself from the daily punishment I put myself through with the scars to prove it. And the worst part is, I don't have the stamia to even WANT to try getting better. Everyday I go through the motions and try to drift along with no particular agenda until I can finally sleep, only to ake up and suffer it all again. I am so tired from the constant mental strain of loathing myself and worrying about what others think of me and I'm just so insanely desperate for love. However, I shy away from compliments or any forms of affection because I feel like I don't deserve it. I find it so hard to accept the love I crave. Im so conflicted with myself.

@wittyStrawberries2245 Hi there. It is great you are here - reaching out is always good. Go easy on yourself - you remind me alot of me a long time ago. I suffered sky high anxiety for years; I tried a hypnotherapy cd online for anxiety and it really helped me. I didn't finish college but if I could do it again I'd finish. I'm older now and didn't. But I'm taking classes. Try and push through your fears, anxieties and try to meet your college deadlines. Alot about life is showing up. And making friends along the way!

@lovehummingbirdsCindy this was such a sweet reply <3

@wittyStrawberries2245 i'm really sorry ur struggling and i want u to know ur worthy of love and help just bc u exist, u dont have to do anything to earn love. i send u the best

@wittyStrawberries2245
I'm sorry to hear that, I know exactly how it feels not to be comfortable with your body image, and to always have the fear of being disapproved from your surroundings.
Fortunately, it's all in our head, you should always remember that you're the star of your own movie, and you're in control.
Never underestimate your ability to diagnose yourself and read your emotional state, there's no shame in being not confident, but the more you're in a situation when you feel unconfident, the more confidnet you gain.
Personally, I've had a lot of issues with my body image, I didn't like being the fat funny girl.
but when I lost my weight, it only added bit more confidence , but I still felt that I still have some issues with my body shape, until I relaized that being attractive is a state of mind, the more I felt hot the more I attracted people.
just keep in mind that the people you know now are very unlikely to be the same after 5 years neither your image.
And you're the one in control of how you want this person and this future to be.
Hobbies help reducing stress and improving your state of mind, but only when you feel like doing it or having the muse to do it.
Don't push yourself too hard.
you're perfect the way you are.
Love comes to you when you least want it or expect it, the only way anyone could love you is by you loving yourself first.
Thank you for being honest and brave and for reaching out to us.

@wittyStrawberries2245

You are a beautiful person and not a disappoint. Your parents love you and if they knew you wanted to get help I am sure they will find a way to get you the help.

@MeMyselfAndHer

Nowadays, because of working parents, children are not able to spend so much time with them which is leading to depression and many other mental health issues. Its not hte parents faults too as they want whats best for their child too, but ya this is a major reason for loneliness. Even in future, some kids don't talk to anyone then just because they start expecting the same from everyone and until people realise...sometimes its too late :(

Hi. I was depressed about a month ago and now I am again.
Here´s why:

1. I have been focused on my future way too much. I think about my crush all the time as well. I worry that I won't be happy in the future, that I won't have even close to what I want. I will be alone and sad. No guy will ever like me for who I truly am. It just scares me.

2. Sometimes I am just sad and I don't know why.
- Example: I told my mom I loved her earlier today and she asked me if I was ok. I told her I just don't tell her often enough and then started balling out of now where. Two minutes later I was just fine.

Situation 1 is mostly to blame! I am only a teenager but I can get really worked about the future when I worry and think about it a lot. But the thing is I can't stop thinking about it for very long.

Another problem (I don't know if this has to do with it) is it is currently midnight and I haven't been able to sleep. I've been thinking about a lot of random stuff and have tried listening to rain which usually helps but not this time. I had a really hard time getting up as well.

I don't know... I'm just tired of overthinking and being sad and whatever else I'm feeling.

@Kiwi749- Growing up nowadays seems even harder for you as a teenager. I honestly dont recall being pressured like your generation. So it is no wonder that you contemplate the future so much. Your message about telling your mother how much you loved her was very touching. I hope you are able to discuss your sadness and worries with her. Many of us humans are hardwired to overthink and worry. Getting involved in a physical activity to get distracted often helps. I have also found that journaling is a useful tool. Perhaps at nighttime when your brain is on overdrive may help. Take care.