A note I had writen, last night... Its all my fault
Its all my fault.
I'm sorry I was to afraid to call you.
I'm sorry I'm a failure.
I'm sorry I push you away.
I'm sorry I can't give more.
I'm sorry I can't fight anymore.
I'm sorry I'm depressing.
I'm sorry I'm not worth fight for.
I'm sorry I can't change.
I'm sorry I disappoint you.
I'm sorry I ruined everything.
I'm sorry I didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry I'm lazy.
I'm sorry I don't want to get out of bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations.
I'm sorry I fell and couldn't get up.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I'm sorry I'm hurting myself.
I'm sorry I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry I don't have any ambitions.
I'm sorry I'm not good at anything.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry I can't push harder.
I'm sorry I can't feel happy.
I'm sorry I'd been held back.
I'm sorry I'm stupid.
I'm sorry I'm not smart.
I'm sorry I'm not more patient.
I'm sorry I can't sit still.
I'm sorry I cried.
I'm sorry Its all my fault.
we are like rivers new born from a breach in a lake, we have a path. Not a path carved by some god or some man, but a path that we carve through the earth on our way to the ocean. a path that we cannot see right now, because it does not exist right now, we will find out way, just as every river does, we will make our way to the ocean at some point and join that great mighty body... ^U^
Fuck it. I give up so whatever. Fuck the people that were evil to me, the people who pushed me out, the people who wouldn't let me in and the people who mistreated me. Fuck you. And I mean it.
the nature of man is evil. we learn good through what we do and who we choose to be, choose to be a good man so that someone you meet can find the light in there dark times.Be a light in the dark to those who need it, this web site is filled with so many people so many kind hearts, I feel so loved here, its like looking out to sea, an every direction is darkness, and then I found this site and a few others like it, and I finally have an Island of light I can see far off in the distance, Now I have the first friend I've had in a long time because of a site like this. a small row boat that parks beside me, a small vessel along side my own, you are not alone, I am not alone, not anymore... I hope that this helped idk it helped me... I hope you feel the love i want to send to you right now.
I can't thank you enough,
words cannot tell,
how far I fell,
everything got so tough,
but now I have a new friend,
One who cares and is so kind,
I felt blind,
I wanted it all to end,
but there you were,
a small boat,
you came to float,
next to the poor,
we sat in a dark,
sharing the light,
that candle so bright,
we sat there in our barque,
we float together,
in a vast sea,
where darkness is all around me,
you came and I became tethered,
now I have someone with whom to share the dark lantern,
someone to show me the light when I have none,
someone who can be my Sun,
something that I've yearned,
for someone like you for so long,
and now when my light is burning,
I can turn and share the lighting,
with you and help someone else in this same throng,
for now my light burns bright,
and at night I can finally sleep,
because you cut out that creep,
of pain and blight,
and I just want to say,
I love you even if no one else will,
before it may have killed,
but now I have a reason to stay...
thank you I'm not good with my words and this took some time for me to write all the way out, with several drafts, but I think its easier to express how I feel with poetry and, I just wanted something for you to have of me, sorry if its a bit long but... idk I hope you like it...
I wrote this to a friend I made recently its been a little over a week and we both feel vary close to each other now... just thought someone might like to read it here and maybe find some strength from it. ^u^
maybe one day I might... idk@blagfar, you say yourenot good with words? When youre writing it looks like you are. Maybe youre like me, in that, you dont speak your words very well. I , somehow, get words crossed up or the meaning comes off wrong. I seem to be able to express myself better when i write. Please dont feel that youre worthless or any of the other negative things that you wrote and believe that your none of these things in Gods eyes. I hope you have a great day!!! :)
Its the depression it forms clouds that block out the sun, and its hard to find the light when your in the dark, but I have found some friends, and they bring me part of theyre light and brighten the skys, even if only for a little while, when they can... I drew this for one of my friends, it was a thank you, for everything they've done... and I think it explains nicely what I feel likehttp://imgur.com/gallery/ET5cMHX/new
Bright, articulate, wordsmith...a rare combination...
I'm not quite good at articulation, I'm better in my writeing than I am when speaking...
I find that alot of creative things are alot harderwhenmy depression is in full swing, Like I can't draw when I'm down in the dark... I just can never find the beauty in my art, and will never finish it... drawing is the hardest when I'm down, I just keep eraseing what I draw, (its not right, its terrible...etc). but writeing is one of the things I think I can do... Idk...
I told a friend recently, that we all work with the tools given to us... and I make do with what I have...
Why do they love me
Why do they call me friend
Why do they stay here with me
Why do they not leave me
Why do they when I'm not worth the work
Why do they when i'm a lost cause
Why do they mock me
Why do they yell
Why do they no kill me
Why do they not see past these masks
Why do they throw stones
Why dos it hurt so much
Why do it burn inside
Why do I burn myself
Why do I feel so alone
Why do I stay here
Why do I hurt so much
Why do they want to be with me when there are soo many people they could be with....
They removed the word Suicide...
well THAT IS WHAT THIS WAS...
a Suicide note I wrote...
and that was what started this little thing here...
so IDK...
