One thing I am feeling sad about today is....

My soulmate/lover killed himself and I couldnt even see him as I was out of country and too poor to fly there for him.

i also think he did it after I hurt him too much. So its a sad day to realize all this has happened

my boyfriend is driving across the country & i miss him terribly. of course i want him to have fun, but i just wish it was with me :/

one of the companies i preferred to work to didn't respond back.

My family won't visit me while I'm in college.

My sort of ex, I found out today, is dating some other girl and it did make me sad.

I think that next year when she goes off to university, my best friend, who I sometimes think Im in love with, is going to realise how much better everyone else is than me so she will stop seeing me, and my heart will be broken again, and I cant bare the thought of living without her, but I can die because I cant hurt her.

I am failing at something I have waited for for so long. Miserably failing.

i have surrendered so many things for that to happen. And it

That depression and anxiety cause one to push away those close to them :(

It has been 2-3 years now and because I wouldnt just suck it up and accept a future I wanted no part of and accept being alone for the rest of my life whether I like it or not; my 2 best friends are still flat out shunning me and treating me as if I was dead. As if I committed a terrible transgression or crime, as if settling for shit was mandatory in life and refusal to do so instantly made one a monster, as if effort and vows to make amends meant nothing.

it would be one thing if I still had romantic feelings for or a crush on either one of them, I did at one point. The shun would be understandable if I still did, I no longer do; not for them or anyone else because whats the point. Those feelings have been long gone.

ive been happier ever since going to nearby amusement parks and I have given up on and renounced all romantic love (even though I really had no choice in the matter) and yet that seems to not be good enough :(

That I think I might be trauma bonded to my fiance (almost 90% sure he's a narc, truly) Given this, I don't know if I'm just going crazy or if I should leave or not.

My anxiety getting to me