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whyohwhy95137
6,420 M Moving Along 3
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts86 Forum posts87 Forum upvotes92 Current upvotes92 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2020 Member sinceApril 1, 2019
Recent forum posts
Just kind of a rant... need to get it out
Anxiety Support / by whyohwhy95137
Last post
 June 27th, 2019
...See more Do you guys ever get the feeling that everyone hates you? Everything you say is stupid, everything you do it stupid... I feel like this... all the damn time. If I mess up or have a brain fart, I always dwell on that thing for hours... it's so hard to let go... I'm honestly considering switching jobs because I just... I think everyone here hates me I know it sounds childish... but I cant work somewhere where everyone talks behind my back, you know? Not to mention I just found out my own parents used to talk shit about me to every single family member behind my back... my own parents. I don't get it. I was always on the outside though, because I was the divorced kid. Stepmothers never want someone elses offspring... but how was my dad and biological moms divorce my fault? She tried pushing my out for years and my family saw how badly she treated me... her own family saw it ... sorry if any of this doesnt make sense... and she did push me out. now they have a nice, awesome life and I'm not in the way. And it hurts. Hurts know they simply never wanted me...
Kind of weird...
Anxiety Support / by whyohwhy95137
Last post
 July 15th, 2019
...See more sorry, I know I've been posting a lot lately. Does anxiety have a uh.. I don't know how to explain it... I guess is it a symptom of anxiety to feel really... on edge, constantly? Anytime I am alone in my home... I always feel like someone is standing outside my door. Or I hear keys jingle like he'll open the door any second. And the worst, I feel like someone is standing there, in the doorway, in the closet, hiding in my bathroom, watching me.... It's so hard for me to sleep when this happens.... and it only happens when my fiance isn't there, I sleep right away when I know he's in the next room.... and my anxiety somewhat goes down am I going crazy??
Just a title
Journals & Diaries / by whyohwhy95137
Last post
 April 5th, 2020
...See more Usually I post about my relationship issues and all that... but this time I was hoping to get some different advice... To make a long story short, I've always wanted children... but lately, it feels like I've been dreading it... part of it is well... apparently (according to old friends) you lose yourself and your super limited on everything you can do... but another part is I'm afraid too... my mom was never around. She chose drugs and alcohol over me and BECAUSE of her... things happened in my childhood I'll never say over this. My stepmother tried her best with me... but at the same time... she was a stepmom. My mom is in a nutshell, selfish, ignorant, racist... and I wish I never allowed her back in my life. I've never touched drugs or smokes and limit my drinking (twice a year, maybe) bc I don't want to end up like her... Im afraid I'll fuck up my own kids (if I have them) like she did to me...
Hey everyone
Anxiety Support / by whyohwhy95137
Last post
 May 21st, 2019
...See more I'm not sure if I have anxiety or not... in college, my guidance counselor recommended I see a therapist to get diagnosed but I never did. I definitely struggle with depression... I feel like I'm always on high alert... I mean, I go through some shit with my fiance... he's very controlling and has anger issues so he doesnt help at all in this. But aside from that, I feel like I constantly annoy people... and I don't do well in large groups... in a group of 3 or more people, I rather would observe than say anything for fear of sounding stupid... I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I get really bad chest pain... like someone punched me in the chest and this is the aftermath of that pain... if that makes sense.
Sorry for posting so much lately... but any advice would be appreciated
Relationship Stress / by whyohwhy95137
Last post
 May 17th, 2019
...See more Like I said,.. sorry for posting a lot... this site is amazing and has helped me a lot... also, asking my family anything is like trying to draw water from a stone. If your spouse said to you, hey I want to go back to school to become a doctor (clinical psychologist)... what would you say? Keep in mind its thousands of dollars (there are grants, scholarships, student loans, co-ops that pay and once you find a job, good pay), time (8 - 10 years... but where I'm at, 8) and less free time to spend with the spouse (between working and school) OR, If your spouse said, hey I want to go back to school for four years (a different career choice) ... again keeping in mind the money, time and whatnot, what would you say to him/her? Please give me your honest opinions, because I want to know if I'm being selfish or not. I'm trying to look at things from his point of view. If it helps, I'm also (almost) 25 so there's the age thing too... biological clock ticking and all...
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