Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Either my antidepressants and mood stabilizers are working, or I had a breakthrough, or hey, maybe both. But I finally feel great!
@impartialComputer9780, way to go! Recovery is a bendy road of ups and downs, but it doesn't mean you can't appreciate the good days ^^; Enjoy the moment and spread the good vibes around!
*high fives*
Today I was almost kissed by someone I love but I got so afraid and anxious that I rejected the kiss and now I feel like crap I feel so awful and I still can't seem to calm down
@theuglyduck i understand ur feeling, this feeling suck.... but at some point you own ur self to stop this thinking regretting bkaming ur self cycle. And if you truly believe in love then definitely another chance will come and this time you will be mentally prepared and excited about it and it will be the right time for it bcuz nothing happens unless it is the right time for it to happen.
I really hope ur feelings will be better soon. Hugs 
It's a middle of the night in my place. I had an exam early in the morning for which I didn't prepare. I had a day of foggy, heavy thoughts after another insomnia episode. My dorm neighbours are indecently loud and just a moment ago there was a fire alarm, because someone didn't posses minimal cooking skills.
I don't want to complain, just figured out that maybe writing about it here will help a bit. I think I will return to reading the notes. Sending all of you my biggest hugs, lovelies. You and I are not alone in this dark night.
@Celaeno I'm sorry u had this rough night, all these elements can be very annoying....
About the exam i really hope you will calm down and give your brain a fair chance to relax and recall the information stored earlier on it :)
You are absolutely not alone dearest Celaeno ever hugging you tightly in this dark night till we witness the light together 
@politeCup86, thanks, lovely ^^ I actually did rather good on my exams, but still had a little sleep. I think I will take it easy today.
Thank you for the kind words. I hope you're feeling good today.
*hugs*
@Celaeno
That is such a GOOOOD news, i'm so glad you did well and about sleeping, yes take it easy dear, maybe you will dream of us :D @discreetAcres6234 @yellowAcres2128 it would be such a fun dream :D i know i might seems crazy but i do dream about 7 cups sometimes hehehe 
WARMEST hugs ever to your lovely! 
@politeCup86 that's so sweet. I wonder what face I would have in your dreams if I was ever seen as a real person. Or maybe I'm just a sims character. Or a floating username.
I'm glad to hear that you exam went well @Celaeno. I understand how hard it must have been relying on adrenaline and will power to focus and power through the lack of sleep. But you did it :) I hope better days are on the horizon for you.
@discreetAcres6234 Haven't been catching up with you for quite some time dearie... How have you been in your new semester? Which year are you in now by the way? And I may not have known earlier, what is the course of interest you are pursuing now? Sending all my heart with the energy and strength to you love 
@yellowAcres2128 my new semester is going well, I'm having a good time. I've been doing oddly good the past few weeks which is strange but a welcome change of mood. I'm in my first year studying Film and Media :) I would love to make movies/tv shows one day. I am in the process of writing a script right now for class, it's fun :D
Thank you sweetie. Love you <3
@discreetAcres6234 I am happy for you to hear that you are doing great at university! It is always enjoyable to study something you are passionate about Film and Media is such an interesting course – yes I remember now, you have mentioned it before in a forum page Powerful is a film where deep meaningful message is strongly portrayed... Looking forward to the day with you when I see movies/TV shows produced by you lovely dear With lotsa love back to you
@yellowAcres2128 I'm very passionate about what I'm studying. University used to worry me because it felt like so many people go into university and hate what they're studying and can't handle the stress of it but I'm loving my course and finding everything manageable.
I've always loved film. It's an art form in my mind. You can do so much with it and convey so many stories and meanings.
I worry that I'll never get anywhere with this path i'm going down but I can't let myself think that way. I have to be positive and work hard. I'll find a way to leave my mark in this world
@discreetAcres6234 You will make a mark Just by reading what you wrote here, I know it in my heart you will. Your love relationship with Media and Film is going to bring you farthest your mind could ever imagine because it is your heart that is moving your personal passionate journey now and ahead It is already in you, unshakable. This seed of vision is only going to blossom in you *hugging you with warmest gladness&love*
@Celaeno @discreetAcres6234 @yellowAcres2128 you made me smile really 
well dreams if it's blue color then it's discreet , yellow color is yellow acres and green is Celaeno, lol this is truly how ur pics reflects *the colors* :D
Hugging you guys LOVE U ALL
@politeCup86 hahaha that's awesome, I love it :)
*hugs back*
@politeCup86 Sending to you lotsa love back too
Reading your messages make me smile loads
I feel horrible today, physically. I feel so-so emotionally. Was glad I had therapy today. The dude really gets me (blessing and curse!) Here's the deal for me-----I just found out on Friday that I may have a tumor/s in my head, and I have a heart problem I never knew about---found out both on the same day. I've had a single headache that has lasted 6 weeks now. Bout driven me around the bend, and that isn't far from here (Bend, OR). My little pun for the day.
My first suicide attempt was at 3 years of age, thanks to the heinous behavior of both my parents. Not going there now. Anyhow. I've had a love affair with suicide since as far back as I can remember. Now that it appears I am pretty sick, all I want to do is live, however fully I can, for as long as I can even with these challenges. It is so ironic how often I've tried to take myself out of this world, and now that another set of circumstances is maybe going to take me out, I want to stand up and say "I DON'T THINK SO!"
I have survived so much in this world. I was born with a life-threatening birth defect, and was even given last rites as an infant. Then having parents who made me question my will to survive them on a daily basis didn't help. I've had 16 surgeries, a few of them life-threatening emergencies. I've lived through like 7 people I've known getting murdered, including a member of the family I married into. AND by my own stepson's hand. I endured 17 years in a wheelchair, got out of it like 3 1/2 years ago and did a 5k three months later. Then I broke my back because some dolt didn't put the saddle on right. Took me a year to recover from that, and I've had almost 6 months healthy, and now this. I gotta say I am pissed off! Every time I start enjoying my physical abilities and health again, something else comes along and knocks me on my ass. This time, I don't know if there will be any more getting whole again afterwards. I just don't have a clue how much more debilitated I can get and still bounce back. I am mentally and physically exhausted from all the crud I've gone through, and don't know how much more I can take. I am like a Timex---take a lickin' and keep on ticking. A comeback kid. But I have just enough fire in my belly to say, "DEPRESSION, I AIN'T LETTING YOU TAKE ME DOWN TOO!" I am a kickass survivor, and that spirit is what will get me through this on the emotional end.
Depression for me always had an existential dimension, meaning it really wasn't about me per se, but rather about the state of human kind and our planet. Atrocities by humans against humans or nature seem to affect me in ways that others, even those close to me don't experience. I always feel guilty by proxy and hence punish myself by self-harming.
I don't really know how I feel, it's a collection of things , I just feel tired thinking about it all. I'm have so conversation with people in my head but I just can't hold a conversation with people for real, it feels like since I have to hold back all the time it's pointless talking to them, been told by close friends to hold back a little so that's were that's comes from I guess.
I feel like crawling under a table, curling into a ball, covering my ears to drown out the noise of my family bickering, to run away from the noise in my head, to hide away from the world in general
I feel terrified. I'm so scared about my future because I can't see a future for me. I know this disease will follow me forever and it's so scary to think I've only been dealing with this knowingly for two years. I have a whole life ahead of me and I don't know if I can handle it.
Hi
From the time I woke up I have been feeling rather hopeless and like I have nothing to look forward to. When I try to look ahead into my life and what my future might have I don't see anything. Even now I don't feel like I have anything to be happy about.
It's hard sometimes. To be honest the only thing I'm really living for right now is getting a German Shepard (type of dog) and living on a ranch in the country with no one but maybe my husband and a German Shepard. And it's sad to say that but it's true.
