Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Numb. Kinda tired. I woke up today thinking about some shitty things from a few years back and just sorta fixated on it. Just trying to distract myself atm...

I've been feeling so tired even though I get lots of sleep. School is really stressing me out, especially now at 17, because I'm supposed to be studying extra hard in order to get into college. But the mere thought of doing anything relating to school right now makes me sick. I barely study, I drag myself to school, and I put on a smile around people who I absolutely hate. Pretty cheerful life.

Feeling a little better today... Or better than I was yesterday, anyway.

Really not finding it easy, with college and stuff.
Like, what do I actually have to be depressed about? I haven't had anything bad happen to me recently, but everything i do seems to be lowering my confidence.

Yesterday, however, I felt bloody awful. I had a complete break down in school and didn't know what to do. I felt nervous meeting up with the person I love, who I basically work with. It's never been like that. I just didn't feel as though I had anything left in me.

Today is no where near being fantastic, but I've been talking to people today and feel a little less isolated.

I feel slightly better today. im still questioning the intentions of some of my male friends. i might just disappear for a week..im not sure. it's not like they'd really notice anyway. i was without my phone for nearly a month at one point and my ex girlfriend tried to tell me that she noticed. which is impossible because she hadn't tried to contact me at all. i don't talk to her anymore cause it seems im not important to her anymore..haven't been since we broke up. every time i would accuse her of not caring she would find a way to turn it back on me. she told me i could tell her anything. so i did. She complained that all i did was talk about myself....but she never really made any attempt to tell me what was going on with her,... its not like i would've just brushed it off and just continued about myself. but oh well. over this past week ive felt..like hardly anyone sees me as a person. they see me as a toy. and i know for a fact this is true because when i try to talk to them now..they just shut me out. it makes me feel alone..even more so. i thought i could still say they are my friends..but once i leave school i only have 2 friends...who really haven't been talking to me lately...*sigh* I'm so stupid..

Feeling more hopeful than I have in so long. After 7 long months of battling my depression and also a self harm issue, I have beginning to feel like there was nothing that would ever make it better. That hopelessness was exacerbated by living in a country where mental health services are basically non-existant. I finally realized that if I tried to stick it out here until June like I'd planned, I probably wouldn't live to see home again. I made the difficult decision to leave a job I love and move back home to the states so I can get the help I need. Knowing that help is now actually on the horizon helps me get through even my toughest days lately.

I don't like these ups and downs.. One minute I'm ok then suddenly I'm not. Sometimes it's days, or even weeks, and sometimes it's just hours. And when I'm feeling ok, I usually end up spending money that I can't afford to spend. I don't even know what to do. It's all looking pretty hopeless right now. I don't understand how people go about living their lives. Why am I so different? Why can't I do anything right? Why can't I be sociable and have friends and be ok?

I've been thinking about posting on here in quite some time. I don't know what I should be saying or doing. Life seems to suck right now. Everything and everyone has abandoned me. Or I have abandoned them... Either way, I'm mostly alone. It's hard going from having so many people to talk to, then only your partner or the cat... It's sad that since I have no one, I keep it all in. Until I start to break down. Cry. Then pick myself up and try and get on. I thought I. Could do this but everyday that goes by, I don't wat to leave my bed. I don't know what to do anymore

I feel like a bother. I was talking to s friend last night and we related on the subject of the conversation... Now she's worried about me. I really don't like for people to worry so much..I mean I'm still here..so I'm ok. But I have tried not to talk so much about myself..but I guess since I hold in so much I can't help but let it out..

I don't understand. I am nothing, but nice to people and they treat me horribly, discourage me, and make fun of me. Even going as far to hit me! I didn't do a thing. I also realize that maybe my "friends" don't like me either. I was helping one of my suicidal friends and she goes off later that day and gets all of these ppl to laugh at me...I'm just ready to go.

I feel like I'm falling apart. .. like I have to be so careful not to hurt anybody with how I deal with my brother's death . It's hard to talk to anybody about it I mean I want to be like hey if he just would have called me or anything . I know it's not but I feel like it's my fault he did this . I hurt about it all the time I don't talk about it because I hate to hurt my parents I can't even think of how they feel I mean he did it in my dad's house ... my mom found him. I just have a shit ton of things going on in my head .