Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Neglected, alone, depressed. Been two weeks now, started because of t boyfriend, I try talking to him but what's the point he barely listens to me, let alone talk to me.

Well..i feel like i shouldn't exist anymore.

a so-called "friend" said I was a "ball of depression" which im obviously well aware of..but she couldn't handle it. so said that i have a nice personality..and left me. she assumes that i only see the bad in things...that i never take risks...when she knows nothing about me and what ive done or had to deal with. She said goodbye. so whatever. i just find it a bit naive of her to say that its soooo easy to find someone who genuinely cares about you. Ive lost and been hurt by at least 20 people over the past six years. im not gonna continue to make stupid choices and trust people with everything i have in an instant. i need to know i can trust you and if we cant have that..then forget it,

well..that just ruined my day.

I feel...I don't really know.

I just want to sleep the rest of the week.. I don't wanna know that I have no friends outside of school. Barely in school as well. I just need to stop feeling this way.. And it gets harder everyday. I hate it so much. I last ate around 2.. and I might finish off my water bottle then go to bed.. I've lost my motivation.. I just..*sighs* I give up..

Depressed would you believe

Just tired. Tired of being afraid of the future, tired of dreading school, tired of being anxious, tired of being sad for no reason, just tired of faking it. My mantra has always been 'fake it til you make it' and I'm really good at it- sometimes I even fool myself- but it's so exhausting. I'm so tired. And when I lay down at night and I'm alone with my mind, I can't fool myself anymore. I want to get help when I go back to school in a few days (which I'm absolutely dreading for so many reasons) but I'm afraid. The idea of actually making a phone call and then going and actually talking to someone face to face about how I actually feel sends me into panic mode every time. I try to reach out to my family but there's only so much they can do.

I don

I feel fine today, actually a little happy.

I feel pretty awful. Things are so out of control and keep getting worse and I'm losing sight of hope. If it wasn't for my fiance idk what I'd do. I just feel so mixed up and frustrated and like I'm a mess.

I still feel like I should disappear.

I went to bed around 7:15. Didn't eat.

I woke up at 3:30 with a ton of notifications.. But only 2 were from a person..he doesn't really sleep much..so he's always up...I fell asleep on him the other day...and last night I just went to bed.

I've been cleaning my room.. Getting rid of s lot of old papers.. I found a note..more like a letter.. In a stack of papers..addressed to my last boyfriend.. I still haven't read through it again..cause I know it'll hurt. I even found some notes on a piece of paper that I exchanged with a friend of mine...I had asked her out..it was awkward but I was sincere.. as I am. I still like her..but she's one of my closest friends..I'm ok with that. I've been reflecting on a lot..and its taking a serious toll on me. Another friend of mine.. Just got into a relationship...she's happy and I'm happy for her.. I just hate that whenever I get close to someone..they run away..or hurt me..I honestly feel I'll never have a genuine love. I just wanna know what makes people....run away..hurt me..or be ashamed of me..if I ever figure that out I'll be content..but I most likely won't..🙈

I felt really stressed to start with today. Then I worked out which was incredibly difficult cause I could barely function. On an impulse called a friend n we talked. I feel good tired now. I hope I can sleep tonight