Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Tired and scared, but strong as hell.

I feel the results of being judged because of my gender. I felt connected in a chat room with someone I see here regularly. When the question about my gender arose, this person said she remembered my saying I was female, when in fact I have never revealed my gender at this site. This is done intentionally. Why? because I wish to exclude myself from the usual internet sex-talk that happens even here at 7Cups. My decision about this creates a rather interesting result because it gives people a great deal of space in which to decide who and what I am based on their personal needs and beliefs. Some decide I am female. Others believe I am male. I will not be locked into a pattern of "standard behavior" expectations based on gender!

As a result, this person may be experiencing confusion and mistrust of me from this point onward as is appears she (self-identified) has withdrawn from our mutual responsiveness. I am truly sorry if I have caused her discomfort. Perhaps our community is not ready to accept someone who no longer identifies gender as the most important trait in a person.

I feel alone all the time,I feel like I have lost my self over the years.. Sometimes i cry and cry to sleep

Sad but I'm going to keep pushing forward.

Likeshit.

I feel worthless a waste of time space energy and life. I feel like I'm lying to people if I smile even if I meant it, it feels wrong. I feel like I deserve not only death but torture.

Worthless, sad, lonely

Today I feel depressed and lonely

Nothing. I feel nothing. I feel empty, a part of myself missing. Where has it gone? How can apart of someone vanish? I wish time travel was real I would go back in time and change so much. Make sure my life was better, that I was smarter and happier. How can a living person feel so dead? So empty? Without purpose? What is the point? This world is so ugly and full of destruction, it seems pointless to be apart of it anymore. No I don't want to kill myself-though I do find myself understanding more and more why people do. The misery they live with that drives them to end the pain. I feel as if I have nothing to offer this world, or anyone really.

The darkness is quite controlling but I almost welcome it because with the darkness comes the sense of nothingness. Where I feel empty. Now don't get me wrong I feel emotions-those never go away but I feel them differently. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a stranger. Her eyes are dull, there is no sense of life to them. It's almost as if she has completely given up on life. I want to believe this darkness, emptiness can be fixed but I'm afraid. I don't have much hope for anything. It all just feels so pointless. Life is so repetitious. Is it too much to just want to be happy?

I feel like there is not an out from this. Its a cycle. it gets a little better, it gets bad again. up and down. eventually its gonna get down bad again. but i'm here so its a step.

I don't feel anything anymore. I'm numb. I hardly get any joy out of life and I wouldn't mind not waking up tomorrow

I feel blank. Empty almost, black and white, dull. I feel like there's no purpose anymore to living. Everyone is leaving me, and I'm leaving myself. Maybe the next thing will be me leaving this Earth hopefully. I'm just sick and tired of living this life. Every time I try to reach out to someone they laugh and push me away. I just want to leave where no one will come with me, and everyone will forget about me. So they won't chase me down and try to get me back. I don't want to come back. Right now, I just feel like dissapearing.

I want to run away.

@blueskydreaming, same. Far far away, somewhere I won't have to think at all. Okay, not just "run away".

I am sorry. Sorry for not answering my texts. Sorry for not being good enough. Sorry for not telling you whats wrong. Sorry that your dating an ugly bipolar bitch. Sorry I'm breathing.

Hopeless, guilty, worthless, extremely anxious, depressed, and scared.

Pain.

school is making everything worse for me i honestly cant wait until its over and i dont have to worry about a thing

I finished my hw and jus consumed couple grams of opioids. Feelin. Dazed .....

I want to run away from everything that I know. Family, friends ect.

I feel like I'm slowly rotting on the inside. It feels like no one loves or even cares about me anymore. I feel like I'm about to collapse

I could say I once felt empty. But the truth is I didn't feel at all. I was numb, surrounded by many but I looked around and saw no one. I wasn't tired, but I slept. Perhaps to forget? Perhaps to remember? Who knows .. I look back on that time and try to remember, but the truth is I'm only tied back to that girls thoughts through reading them when she wrote it down, or hearing that song she played over and over again.

Wanted to give up life

Die

Wanted to die

Want to die

Dead

I don't even want to feel better at this point.

@DankeyKang64,yeah. What do you feel like then?

Like I just want to stop. Stop being a headache. Stop being an annoyance. stop being a burden. Stop being.

Want to die

Want to die

Die

Want to die

Die

My heart is really empty, I try so hard to make things better and people love putting me down all the time, sometimes I forget what I do and all that, what do I do to fix this, everyone hates me, I need some help

Want to die

What's going on? Why is this posted so many times on different posts? Are you alright?

And to OP, while I can't offer advice, I can say that I understand. I'm so sorry you feel this bad. I do too. It's scary and overwhelming. *hugs*

Getting up is so hard, it seems pointless. I'm always so tired. How can I convince myself to keep going?