Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel alone all the time,I feel like I have lost my self over the years.. Sometimes i cry and cry to sleep

Sad but I'm going to keep pushing forward.

Likeshit.

I feel worthless a waste of time space energy and life. I feel like I'm lying to people if I smile even if I meant it, it feels wrong. I feel like I deserve not only death but torture.

Worthless, sad, lonely

Today I feel depressed and lonely

Nothing. I feel nothing. I feel empty, a part of myself missing. Where has it gone? How can apart of someone vanish? I wish time travel was real I would go back in time and change so much. Make sure my life was better, that I was smarter and happier. How can a living person feel so dead? So empty? Without purpose? What is the point? This world is so ugly and full of destruction, it seems pointless to be apart of it anymore. No I don't want to kill myself-though I do find myself understanding more and more why people do. The misery they live with that drives them to end the pain. I feel as if I have nothing to offer this world, or anyone really.

The darkness is quite controlling but I almost welcome it because with the darkness comes the sense of nothingness. Where I feel empty. Now don't get me wrong I feel emotions-those never go away but I feel them differently. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a stranger. Her eyes are dull, there is no sense of life to them. It's almost as if she has completely given up on life. I want to believe this darkness, emptiness can be fixed but I'm afraid. I don't have much hope for anything. It all just feels so pointless. Life is so repetitious. Is it too much to just want to be happy?

I feel like there is not an out from this. Its a cycle. it gets a little better, it gets bad again. up and down. eventually its gonna get down bad again. but i'm here so its a step.

I don't feel anything anymore. I'm numb. I hardly get any joy out of life and I wouldn't mind not waking up tomorrow

I feel blank. Empty almost, black and white, dull. I feel like there's no purpose anymore to living. Everyone is leaving me, and I'm leaving myself. Maybe the next thing will be me leaving this Earth hopefully. I'm just sick and tired of living this life. Every time I try to reach out to someone they laugh and push me away. I just want to leave where no one will come with me, and everyone will forget about me. So they won't chase me down and try to get me back. I don't want to come back. Right now, I just feel like dissapearing.