Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@discreetAcres6234 I am happy for you to hear that you are doing great at university! It is always enjoyable to study something you are passionate about ​ Film and Media is such an interesting course – yes I remember now, you have mentioned it before in a forum page ​ Powerful is a film where deep meaningful message is strongly portrayed... Looking forward to the day with you when I see movies/TV shows produced by you lovely dear With lotsa love back to you

@yellowAcres2128 I'm very passionate about what I'm studying. University used to worry me because it felt like so many people go into university and hate what they're studying and can't handle the stress of it but I'm loving my course and finding everything manageable.

I've always loved film. It's an art form in my mind. You can do so much with it and convey so many stories and meanings.

I worry that I'll never get anywhere with this path i'm going down but I can't let myself think that way. I have to be positive and work hard. I'll find a way to leave my mark in this world

@discreetAcres6234 You will make a mark Just by reading what you wrote here, I know it in my heart you will. Your love relationship with Media and Film is going to bring you farthest your mind could ever imagine because it is your heart that is moving your personal passionate journey now and ahead It is already in you, unshakable. This seed of vision is only going to blossom in you *hugging you with warmest gladness&love*

@yellowAcres2128 You're so sweet :) Thank you so much for your lovely words and view of me.

@politeCup86 Dreaming all of us still chatting lovingly with one another, giving and receiving all the love and support...

@Celaeno All the best for your exams period You carry such a warrior spirit in you...if I were you, knowing the upcoming exam in which I hadn't prepared for, I might not have the quiet confidence and strength you exude to go sit for it...I am learning qualities from you: stay on course despite any odds.

@Celaeno @discreetAcres6234 @yellowAcres2128 you made me smile really well dreams if it's blue color then it's discreet , yellow color is yellow acres and green is Celaeno, lol this is truly how ur pics reflects *the colors* :D

Hugging you guys LOVE U ALL

@politeCup86 hahaha that's awesome, I love it :)

*hugs back*

@politeCup86 Sending to you lotsa love back too

Reading your messages make me smile loads

I feel horrible today, physically. I feel so-so emotionally. Was glad I had therapy today. The dude really gets me (blessing and curse!) Here's the deal for me-----I just found out on Friday that I may have a tumor/s in my head, and I have a heart problem I never knew about---found out both on the same day. I've had a single headache that has lasted 6 weeks now. Bout driven me around the bend, and that isn't far from here (Bend, OR). My little pun for the day.

My first suicide attempt was at 3 years of age, thanks to the heinous behavior of both my parents. Not going there now. Anyhow. I've had a love affair with suicide since as far back as I can remember. Now that it appears I am pretty sick, all I want to do is live, however fully I can, for as long as I can even with these challenges. It is so ironic how often I've tried to take myself out of this world, and now that another set of circumstances is maybe going to take me out, I want to stand up and say "I DON'T THINK SO!"

I have survived so much in this world. I was born with a life-threatening birth defect, and was even given last rites as an infant. Then having parents who made me question my will to survive them on a daily basis didn't help. I've had 16 surgeries, a few of them life-threatening emergencies. I've lived through like 7 people I've known getting murdered, including a member of the family I married into. AND by my own stepson's hand. I endured 17 years in a wheelchair, got out of it like 3 1/2 years ago and did a 5k three months later. Then I broke my back because some dolt didn't put the saddle on right. Took me a year to recover from that, and I've had almost 6 months healthy, and now this. I gotta say I am pissed off! Every time I start enjoying my physical abilities and health again, something else comes along and knocks me on my ass. This time, I don't know if there will be any more getting whole again afterwards. I just don't have a clue how much more debilitated I can get and still bounce back. I am mentally and physically exhausted from all the crud I've gone through, and don't know how much more I can take. I am like a Timex---take a lickin' and keep on ticking. A comeback kid. But I have just enough fire in my belly to say, "DEPRESSION, I AIN'T LETTING YOU TAKE ME DOWN TOO!" I am a kickass survivor, and that spirit is what will get me through this on the emotional end.

Depression for me always had an existential dimension, meaning it really wasn't about me per se, but rather about the state of human kind and our planet. Atrocities by humans against humans or nature seem to affect me in ways that others, even those close to me don't experience. I always feel guilty by proxy and hence punish myself by self-harming.

I don't really know how I feel, it's a collection of things , I just feel tired thinking about it all. I'm have so conversation with people in my head but I just can't hold a conversation with people for real, it feels like since I have to hold back all the time it's pointless talking to them, been told by close friends to hold back a little so that's were that's comes from I guess.

I feel like crawling under a table, curling into a ball, covering my ears to drown out the noise of my family bickering, to run away from the noise in my head, to hide away from the world in general

I feel terrified. I'm so scared about my future because I can't see a future for me. I know this disease will follow me forever and it's so scary to think I've only been dealing with this knowingly for two years. I have a whole life ahead of me and I don't know if I can handle it.

Hi

From the time I woke up I have been feeling rather hopeless and like I have nothing to look forward to. When I try to look ahead into my life and what my future might have I don't see anything. Even now I don't feel like I have anything to be happy about.

It's hard sometimes. To be honest the only thing I'm really living for right now is getting a German Shepard (type of dog) and living on a ranch in the country with no one but maybe my husband and a German Shepard. And it's sad to say that but it's true.

From the time I woke up I have been feeling rather hopeless and like I have nothing to look forward to. When I try to look ahead into my life and what my future might have I don't see anything. Even now I don't feel like I have anything to be happy about.

Me too😔

I feel the same the way that I get though it though is just thinking about who would miss you and who you have by your side who cares.and sometimes its just hoping things will change even if you know they will not your hope has got you this far and until you find what your looking for you have to try and stretch that hope as far as you can

It gets better.💕

(hug)

Sometimes, like today, it's hard to wake up and start my day. But once I get out I don't think about my depression. It is not until I get home that the dark fogginess starts to surround me. But I'm trying my hardest to remain proactive and positive by making lifestyle changes like meditating and exercising and hopefully one day this recurring depression I have had for two years will be a thing from the past

I know exactly how you feel. My depression keeps returning (it's been about 5 years). I can have good periods of maybe 2 months but the same empty feeling always returns. Sending you tons of hugs.

I feel alone. Weak. Worthless and a waste of space

Today i just went to get a 💆 and then I saw Camalita Spats being mean to the Baudelairs and i got mad so i went over there and smacked her but then she hit me with a stuffed animal and now my bruise is swelling!

I feel alone. Weak. Worthless and a waste of space

I feel very unstable. Jobless for half a year, applied to countless stores, fast-foods, whatever, had some interviews but still... I'm on the verge of doing something I know I'll regret. I never thought that feeling useless could have such an impact on me. Man, it is so good to talk, to write it down here what I'm feeling, thanks for the thread.

I hope I can overcome all this.

When I woke up I felt great. I went to my first class and was struggling with dance moves but it was fun until I was paired with a person who does nothing. After that my second class upset me greatly, my teacher was having a bad day and took it out on the students. Third period was good honestly, not much happened. Lunch was amazing because I was with my boyfriend and was hugging him for like ever. The fourth period was absolutely grand. We had an assembly and it was actually inspiring and made me feel good. I got home and did nothing , so that felt nice. And currently I feel clingy, and upset. I blame myself for everything and want so desperately to apologize to everyone I know. So to sum this up, how i actually feel is....conceited and isolated.

I woke up, ate, took a long shower studied, cried from stress, worried, prayed, slept.

I woke up, ate, took a long shower studied, cried from stress, worried, prayed, slept.

Progressively worse, to be perfectly honest. It's been bad lately.

Progressively worse, to be perfectly honest. It's been bad lately.

I totally understand @IndigoRoses It's a daily struggle and hope things get better.

I had an early miscarriage and I'm in so much pain and it's been nearly a week. I feel really antisocial towards the only 2 people I talk to besides my immediate family. In a way I feel lucky that I'm a stay at home mom because I can be my antisocial self. But oddly enough, I feel lonely even though I'm the one who doesn't want to talk. And my kids have been fighting so much it's like nothing I do makes a difference. I just feel like my husband and kids would be fine without me.

Dear @cheshire

i am so sorry to hear of your pain, and what must be an excruciating time for you. I do know how hard this is...try to let your family help you. Or your friends, surround yourself with people you love and that Love and support you , forget the others and concentrate on yourself for now. Pls do try to go easy on yourself, this is not your fault....take care....baZ

@Cheshire94 I was really touched by your post. I'm so sorry for the miscarriage. As a wife and mom myself I totally understand and can relate. Keep pressing forward and time will heal you...

Well um. My self esteem has gotten to the point where it's now nonexistent. I'm really anxious and stressed because of stuff. And I just am struggling to stay clean and not self harm but all my self hate and negative thoughts are making it beyond hard. I'm just stressed and beyond sad right now. I just wish the weekend would come already.

@BandGeekLife I wish the was something I could say to make you feel better. Keep persevering even though it seems hopeless things will get better in time...

I have felt really depressed these past two weeks because I have been struggling a lot with my depression. I really hope I get better soon because just about everything has been triggering me recently and I just really want to feel happy again

@Lildaisybee I can imagine how hard it's been and want to encourage you to keep persevering. From one depression survivor to another you're not on this journey alone and we will see the sun shine again...