Weekly Prompt #35: How hard is it for you to set boundaries in your relationships?

I truly struggle with boundaries because it seems even if you set boundaries and know what they are, other people don't always care, and they can walk all over you. 

I have a hard time setting boundaries because I’m constantly thinking about the other person. I try my best not to cross someone else’s boundary for their sake, but when they cross mine I don’t say a word. This is mostly because I don’t want to embarrass them or make them feel uncomfortable or less valuable or something. So I just hope they don’t do it again. And if they consistently keep doing it then I have a bad habit of ghosting them. Do y’all know how to help me with situations like this? I know I should confront them but I don’t want to hurt their feelings….

@ASilentObserver

To be very honest, I think it's very challenging for me to set boundaries within a relationship. I've never had a intimate relationship with anyone in the romantic sense, so I can't share anything regarding that, but as far as platonic relationships, friendships, even some working relationships I've had, I've always been one to be the open book, and I believe I was always the one that was a little too open. Some things truly are better left unsaid. And some things, you do just have to keep to yourself, unless the other person or party sets an open boundary to where you can express certain things that would be taboo or unorthodox. I feel the older I've gotten, I've learned to try to establish more clear boundaries and try to honor them. Of course, I'm human, so it's still very much a work in progress. But I am truly happy with myself with how far I've come, not only as a person, but with establishing boundaries, and respecting them, not just for myself, but for others involved. 

(haha that's my favorite character from that show. his lines are so reaction-worthy)

i do find it challenging to set boundaries at times with friendships without shaking them or limiting their growth. it has required me to be more assertive in my communication which can be tough but it gets better the more experience you gain and trust you build.

@ASilentObserver it's really very hard, I kept spamming messages and tried commenting so many times, and ive alienated everyone i know

@ASilentObserver setting boundaries used to be really hard. i would feel guilty, because in the past i'd been told my emotions were too big for others to deal with, i was too intense, too sensitive. now? well, i was betrayed by a friend last year, and i don't trust that 1) everyone has good intentions anymore, and 2) that good intentions are 'enough' (enough to excuse the harm, or enough to make me feel guilty for daring to be hurt, or both) anymore. it's almost too easy. i've lost trust in other people. i don't like it when people compliment me, now. i don't trust words. only actions, and only after quite some time.

It's very hard. I never know when I am setting a boundary or being "difficult." 

It use to be difficult to set boundaries but I've been good at it since 2020 I stand up for myself and my kids and setting boundaries is necessary and once I realize my boundaries were accurate I feel less anxious about my decision

@ASilentObserver

i tend to bend over backwards to make other people feel comfortable. One person I have been doing this with is my mother. Our roles are kind of reversed. I have been the emotional support even though I have bipolar. Whenever I try to say my point of view, she says that I’m seeing things one sided.

Setting boundaries is exceedingly difficult for me and I frequently give far more than I should or can to people and things that more or less take advantage of me. As I really look at these things it is very depressing. I have also gotten myself entangled in relationships with people who abuse those faults and I am pondering my future at the moment.