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Weekly Prompt #29: How do you handle setbacks or relapses in your journey with depression?

ASilentObserver January 30th

Welcome back, group! I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.

Last week we discussed: How do you practice self-compassion when struggling with depression? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts and questions for discussion. They were thought-provoking questions and thoughts. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you


This week's prompt: How do you handle setbacks or relapses in your journey with depression?


I wanted to talk about something that many of us may have experienced at some point in our journey with depression: setbacks and relapses. Dealing with these can be incredibly tough, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. Let's share and discuss some strategies and insights from the community on how to handle setbacks and relapses in your battle against depression. Please know all thoughts and experiences are valid so no matter how small or big it seems, do share with us and we will discuss our thoughts on it together. 


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Tinywhisper11 January 30th

@ASilentObserver just get back up, and try again ❤❤

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ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@Tinywhisper11 It can be difficult to deal with setbacks when we are trying our best. What thoughts go through your mind when you experience these setbacks?


1 reply
Tinywhisper11 January 31st

@ASilentObserver mostly fear, and sadness. It's not uncommon for me to get setbacks, cause I'm still trying to learn and get used to living in  the real world. It's hard and very overwhelming, also confusing and I'm rambling. Sorry. It's been like 4 and a half years since I came to this planet, it seems to be getting easier sometimes, then others I have no clue what I'm doing. Anyway how are you doing?

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ThoughtLight January 30th

I think to myself that the episode will pass, and I will be stronger because of it. Go over my coping strategies. 

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@ThoughtLight It sounds like you are trying to stay positive and find ways to cope during difficult times. Please know dealing with depression can take time and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. What coping strategies have been most helpful for you in the past when you' have experienced setbacks?


1 reply
ThoughtLight January 31st

@ASilentObserver well in my nearly 17 years of dealing with it keeping myself occupied has been a saving factor. It keeps me from dwelling on negative things. Watching upbeat shows when I watch any. Basically, to surround myself with my uplifting things. Including music. 

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TrueSight January 30th

I can't help but to feel a certain level of frustration and fear of it becoming another treatment resistant depression like the one me and my team are working on now. It doesn't last forever, and I have to remind myself that and get those around me to say it from time to time too. 

2 replies
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@TrueSight That sounds really challenging. Feeling discouraged after experiencing setbacks is completely understandable. What thoughts go through your mind when you experience these setbacks?


1 reply
TrueSight January 31st

@ASilentObserver well after all these years I just see them as inevitable. I don't see it as a failure or anything I did wrong. I've just finally accepted it as part of the illness. I think that biggest feeling would be frustration. And now I have treatment resistant depressions and psychiatry has no answer for that. But there are ways of conquering it. Not ways you want but you have to do what it takes to get back to being "stable". But in a lot of the moments, I temporarily lose site of the rational thinking and have negative thoughts. Some things are easy to say when you're not live in a particular moment. Journaling is a good tool. 

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Zeraphim January 30th

If I'm honest, I don't handle setbacks and relapses very well. I find that I want to finally get to a point where I can sustainably reach a stable equilibrium where I can build some forward momentum on my goals in life, but I continue to have the carpet pulled out from under me because of depression hindering any progress, getting in the way of showing up for my relationships, *** all the joy and worth out of me again.

It's tiresome and leaves me feeling bitter and defeated. I often have to wait until the episode passes to try again, and by then, it's from back at square one again.

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Zeraphim January 30th

The word it censored was what a vacuum does. The opposite of the wind blowing. I suppose another word that would fit there is "siphons."

ImpudentIncognito January 30th

@Zeraphim That feelings really bites -- To work so hard to finally have some sort of balance in life only for it to get taken away from you...I can relate to that. Been having that happen a lot throughout these recent years, that I just sort of...sadly...gotten used to it. I don't blame you for feeling bitter after life forces you back to square one. I think the fact that you want to reach a stable equilibrium to move forward towards your goals is great!

Ultimately, that desire will end up pushing you closer and closer to where you want to be. At least, that's what I've been telling myself lately. I'm also tired of constant resets and want to get over with it already, so I try to remind myself at least I know what to do now or that I've been through worse and just want to get it over with already. 

I wish you the best, I hope you're doing OK.

ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@Zeraphim That sounds exhausting. It makes sense that relapse can feel like a step backward in your progress after working so hard. What thoughts go through your mind when you experience these setbacks?


1 reply
Zeraphim January 31st

@ASilentObserver I hesitate to share... But basically thoughts like, "Not again. Why? It's not fair. It's hopeless. Nothing's ever going to get better. There's no point."

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP February 2nd

@Zeraphim I hear you Zera. Those are difficult thoughts to have, and I can understand why they would feel overwhelming. It's important to remember that these thoughts are likely a result of this temporary situation and aren't reflections on your worth as a person.

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OneErased January 30th

Honestly, after a lifetime of depression setbacks and relapses, I've kinda gotten too used to them. Once things ease out, I'm kinda already expecting it to go down again, which I know isn't healthy but something you can't always control. When it happens I try to reach out to ppl, no matter how badly I wanna isolate and disappear. Connections to ppl, sharing and talking about all of it, can help a lot sometimes. And if not, I do what I recently did and try get to psych ward, to be safe and all. 

1 reply
ImpudentIncognito January 30th

@OneErased I can relate to feeling used to the setbacks. I'm glad you have people you can reach out to too! I tend to isolate and shutdown easily, I'm trying to learn to open myself back up again. Also wanted to comment that its good that you're getting assistance at the psych ward. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to improve your situation.

ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@OneErased It sounds like you have a good understanding of your experiences with depression and how it can ebb and flow. Reaching out to people and seeking support when you need it is important. Sometimes, taking steps like going to a psychiatric ward can also be helpful. 


Aputik February 7th

@OneErased

I'm glad you're taing care of yourself abd you're fully aware of your current situatiin and tendencies. It may help to see if there are any patterns repeating in time. Recurrent triggers for example. Or even seasons or time periods. 

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Positron2 January 30th

I try to remember that setbacks are just as temporary and fleeting as happiness is.

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@Positron2 That's a good way to look at it! It can be hard to stay motivated when we're feeling low, but it is important to remember that these negative feelings won't last forever. What other strategies have you found helpful when dealing with setbacks?


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ImpudentIncognito January 30th

How do you handle setbacks or relapses in your journey with depression?

Well...I have gotten used to setbacks and relapses at this point that I might as well call myself a "professional". Really, what's been keeping me from going off the far end is my son...I try to remind myself that he needs me, so I need to get myself help in order to help both him and myself.


I've also had a couple of incidents that nearly made me unalive(one being that someone tried to unalive me and another was from situations, accidents, trauma), and it made me realize I very much want to live. I want to have a decent life or at least...give my son the best life I can since I didn't grow up in the best environment.

So...I guess the way I have been handling it lately is trying to ask for help.
Right now, I'm dealing with health issues, no income due to health issues, and a (possible) eviction, but I finally reached out for help to get things handled. It bites for the moment, and I've been through the same/similar situation before, but it was worst in the past. I know what I need to do now...

Apart from asking for help, I talk to my partner daily and...currently trying to make online friends based on hobby related stuff. I think doing hobbies has helped me cope and feel better as well. 

The only people in my life are my son and my partner, but I'm trying to start over and make good and compatible friends. So, friends that aren't doing bad stuff (ex. stealing, littering, messing with other people in harmful ways, etc.) and also compatible friends (ex. similar interests, similar principles/morals -- not everything has to be the exact same, but for example is they're a heavy drinker while I'm sober, we probably wouldn't be compatible friends) to have a longer lasting friendship.

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@ImpudentIncognito It sounds like you have been through quite a lot, and, understandably, you'd sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all. You are doing a great job reaching out for help when you need it, and taking steps toward building a support network of friends who share your values and interests. That can make a big difference in how you feel. What are some of the hobbies you enjoy?


1 reply
ImpudentIncognito February 1st

@ASilentObserver Some of the hobbies I enjoy are: learning languages, drawing, reading novels & comics, playing guitar/piano/any musical instrument that tickles my fancy, playing videogames, crochet/knitting/sewing, learning something new, and...I used to weightlift, but I can't do that now until I recover, so I opt for going for walks. Just...been too down lately to really do that for a while and scared to leave the house. Might invest in a treadmill.

I'm slowly getting back into my hobbies, it's been taking me a while but hoping to get back into everything soon.


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ASilentObserver OP February 2nd

@ImpudentIncognito It sounds like you have a lot of hobbies that you enjoy! Learning languages, drawing, reading, playing music, and video games can be great ways to relax and express yourself. Crochet/knitting/sewing can also be fun crafts. It is good that you are trying to get back into them.


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Comfortablesmile January 30th

Well, i see setback as an opportunity to come back better with more knowledge. Knowledge is the cure for any setback because our minds can do anything we set them to do.

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@Comfortablesmile I appreciate your optimistic perspective on setbacks. It is great that you view them as opportunities for growth. What strategies have helped you cope with setbacks in the past?


1 reply
Comfortablesmile January 31st

@ASilentObserver

Well... I built resilient, practice self-love and focus on my purpose for living. 


1 reply
ASilentObserver OP February 2nd

@Comfortablesmile Those are great strategies! It sounds like they have been helpful for you in the past when you have faced challenges. Building resilience and practicing self-love can take time, but it can make a big difference in how we respond to difficult situations. 

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WharfRat January 31st

How do you handle setbacks or relapses in your journey with depression?

I just keep going on with everything.



1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 31st

@WharfRat It sounds like you have been dealing with challenging situations. Managing emotions can feel overwhelming when we are experiencing difficult times. What feelings come up for you during these moments?


1 reply
WharfRat February 1st

@ASilentObserver  

I feel heartbreak, sadness, frustration and anger.


1 reply
ASilentObserver OP February 2nd

@WharfRat Those are really big feelings. Sadness and anger especially can feel overwhelming. We are all here with you to support. 


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Fluffymonster101 February 6th

I have no solutions. My life is a never ending vicious circle. Sometimes i find it easier than other times. It depends on what I dreamt, what mood I woke up in, did I eat or not, what I read, what I watch on yt, is it quiet in my head or not, so many factors and very low to no determination. Sometimes I feel so low, miserable, lonely in my hurting, hopeless. I cry more than I eat sleep or do anything else. Sometimes a voice in my head torments me with gaslighting and whatnots. I.m starting to think I feed off my own torment. 

Coping mechanisms? Weed and video games. But it’s not coping, it’s just repressing. Am sry if off topic, I’m still trying to get the hang of this community ✌️
2 replies
ASilentObserver OP February 7th

@Fluffymonster101 It sounds like dealing with depression daily brings up a lot of difficult emotions and experiences. Coping with setbacks is challenging when so many factors can influence our mood from day to day. 



2 replies
Fluffymonster101 February 7th

@ASilentObserver

yes it gets overwhelming and idk what happened to all coping mechanisms. 

Fluffymonster101 February 7th

@ASilentObserver

Thank you 🙏

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NotAllHere713 April 1st

@Fluffymonster101 

I feel the same way. Sometimes I just shut down. There are no tears. 

1 reply
Fluffymonster101 April 11th

@NotAllHere713

*makes room to stay together under rock, comforting* fluffy’s got enough tears for everyone, it’s ok. Hugs if accepted 

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