Weekly Prompt #23: What are the common negative self talk phrases that you often find yourself saying?
Welcome back, group! I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: Depression Questions & Answers Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts and questions for discussion. They were thought-provoking questions and thoughts. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you
This week's prompt: What are the common negative self-talk phrases that you often find yourself saying? Are these thoughts helping or hindering your progress?
Negative self-talk can be a challenging habit to break. It can drain our confidence, hinder our progress, and create a cycle of negativity in our lives. But with the right support and tools, we can begin to reframe our negative self-talk and cultivate a more positive mindset. Please know all thoughts and experiences are valid so no matter how small or big it seems, do share with us and we will discuss our thoughts on it together.
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@ASilentObserver the most common negative thoughts I think are tw) that I'm a freak, and will never be able to go out in public looking like this, people will be mean if I go out... I can't escape my body or what's left of it. Missing limbs, ugly scars and burns, rude words cut in my body😥 I can't not constantly see this. There is no mental escape
second negative thought. Is I have no future, my owners didn't leave me with much of a chance😞
I know theese thoughts are bad for me, but I'm not sure they are gonna go away
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me, Tiny. It takes courage to open up. From what you describe, it seems the negative self-talk and worries about the future are weighing heavily on your mind and heart. You mentioned that escaping your thoughts and body is not easy, is there anything that brings you a sense of calm or comfort during challenging times? I
I'm so sorry you feel all that tiny. I do wish someday these thoughts will go away. *hugs for you*
@ASilentObserver here goes.... I hate myself, I'm broken, I'm not worth it, I'll never be happy, I'll be alone forever, I'll never amount to anything. Sry if these seem depressing, I hope one day I won't resonate with them as much
@politerabbit2235 It feels safe to think those things, it's almost like an excuse.
@politerabbit2235 It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of difficult emotions. Reflecting on feelings of being broken or not worthy can be really hard to cope with. What matters most is how you treat yourself with compassion through it all. Would you like to share what is contributing to how you see yourself now? We are all here with you
@ASilentObserver I am not doing anything with my life and I have no desire to. I wish I could treat myself with compassion but I find it hard. I don't eat enough and I criticize myself a lot.
@politerabbit2235 It sounds like you are experiencing difficult feelings of low motivation and self-criticism. Reflecting on how we speak to ourselves is such an important part of self-care. What matters most is you take your small steps to connect with your inner compassion. You deserve that.
@ASilentObserver yeah i think im just going to accept things are the way they are and take like a time out and not put pressure and see what happens. i want to make friends also but I feel like I'm a burden and also I don't leave my house a lot so idk where I would meet new ppl but if I do meet ppl I'm good at talking
"I am not good enough". I am still struggling by whose standard this is harsh judgment is taken. I guess my great-grandparent's.
@BeCreative1967 It sounds like you are experiencing feelings of not being good enough according to some harsh standards. Those kinds of judgments can be difficult to live with. What matters most is how you see yourself - through your own eyes and values. How do you feel about who you are, deep within?
@ASilentObserver
Normally I am kind of ok with myself, though I struggle to be proud you myself or even talk proudly about myself. But I guess the harsh comments in my inner monologue do really stemm from overly high expectations in my family (I am not the only one struggling with this in my greater family, we have the fatalities in cousins to prove it, probably having some war generation parents let's one inherit a lot off ... hm, how to say this without swearing ... standards, wich are outdated). Intellectually one knows it is not helpful and most probably true - but silencing the inner critic is not always easy. I am still working on it ;-)
@ASilentObserver
"That it's always my faut", because I did not have a big positive community growing up. When I would go to school people would hate me, when I got home people would hate me, so not knowing anything else I simply believed everything was my fault because it can't be everyone else. Till this day it baffles me, the amount of students and teachers that degraded me. It's hard to argue that an entire school and faculty are wrong, because that is a large amount of people. So, it's hard for me to get that thought out my mind, because it didn't seem logical to me at the time.
@JollyRacher Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Jolly It sounds like growing up in that environment made you feel alone and that you had to believe everything was your fault. Those feelings can be so heavy to carry. My question for you is, what helped you start to see yourself and your worth differently? Please know you deserve to feel good about yourself.
@ASilentObserver
Writing really helped me in that aspect, because it gave me an objective perspective of things in my life. A lot of the time I have troubles with identifying and regulating my own emotions. I don't understand what I feel or how I feel, but when I write it down it's like I'm an outsider looking in. I can see patterns and emphasis I didn't notice before. So, when I wrote all this down it started a journey for me to explore those emotions and feelings which I never did before.
My most common negative self-talk phrases are that I am unlikeable, unloveable, I'll always be alone, I am worthless, I am nothing, my life will amount to nothing, I'm fat and everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault.
I am trying so hard to push out this self-talk, but it's so hard.
@jazzyfizzle1989 Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Jazzy. Feeling unlikeable, unloveable, alone and blaming yourself are painful experiences. You mentioned you are trying hard to push out this negative self-talk, I think that shows real strength and determination. Please keep being gentle with yourself as you work through this. You deserve to feel good about who you are. If I can ask how have you been coping with these difficult feelings?
@ASilentObserver I'm currently speaking with a therapist at least once every 3 weeks. I am also trying to practice more mindfulness. I meditate every morning and I am trying to use affirmations. But sometimes it's really hard not to sink back into those thoughts. I'm going through a very difficult period in my life and it's just hard. Most times I feel like I have no one to talk to about anything that is going on because I don't trust them to understand or be compassionate/empathetic. That's why I am on here though. Thank you very much for your kind words though. I truly apprecciate it.
@ASilentObserver I forogt, I've also been journalling every night before bed. I think writing down my feelings has been very helpful for me.
@ASilentObserver I tend to have a lot. I don't believe in good or bad people but I often have "You're not a good person" pop up a lot. Other ones I have are "people don't like you, and they're not wrong to feel that way" and especially "how can you keep expecting others to love you when you don't even love yourself" and thoughts about being unlovable and stuff. and then there's "there's something wrong with you" and then thoughts overthinking something I did previously in the day and then hating myself for that and thinking like "why do you act so weird" n stuff. They're more things I've gotten used to than like severe thoughts I guess
@wrenrainygardens Thank you for sharing about the thoughts you experience with us. It sounds like you deal with a lot of self-criticism and judging thoughts. You do not deserve to be so hard on yourself. Everyone has moments they wish they could redo - it is part of being human. But please be gentle with yourself, as you would a good friend. You deserve all compasson and support. We are all here with you.
@ASilentObserver Thank you so much for giving this opportunity to know I'm not alone with my self talk struggles, and thank you for what you said, I really needed that :) <333
@ASilentObserver
There's quite a lot, actually. But most of them center around the thought that I'm not good enough at anything I do. ( doesn't matter how much i try, how much accolades i get, i'm never doing enough)
@affableStrings4654 It sounds like you are experiencing feelings of not being good enough, no matter your efforts or accomplishments. Those thoughts can be difficult to contend with. Would you like to share a bit more what you believe is fueling those feelings? We are all here with you to listen to and to support.
@ASilentObserver my mom has always been very critical of me, and controlling, and she saw my independence as a threat to her, so she did everything she could to cut me down and make me feel like i couldn't do anything on my own. I don't live with her anymore, but the feeling still stays.
@affableStrings4654 I am sorry to hear you experienced criticism and feeling cut down when you were living with your mom. It sounds like her actions made it difficult to feel confident in yourself. You mentioned the feelings still stay with you even though you don't live together anymore. How does remembering that time make you feel now?
I often anticipate and think that things that I need to do/get done will turn out with a lot of obstacles. I do usually have a lot of obstacles to overcome with things, but not always. I need to stop thinking that everything will be difficult.
@MindDweller Thank you for opening up and sharing, Mind. It sounds like anticipating obstacles leaves you feeling discouraged. Focusing on difficulties can make even small tasks seem overwhelming. You have recognized this pattern, which is an important step toward making positive changes. What matters most is that you keep moving forward in a way that works for you. How does anticipating obstacles affect your motivation to get things done?
@ASilentObserver when I anticipate obstacles then I ruminate on the anticipation and prevents me from taking the next step. I am aware of this, yes. I am taking courses about changing one's mindset and how some people get stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts.
Thank you for your replies to myself and all the people, Silent, you make us feel welcome. Thank you <3
I always think "I'm going to amount to nothing in life, I have no future- I do good in school but for what?" This is mainly because I have no real motivation to work. My parents tell me to because it is for my financial future- but I am so lazy and I do the bare minimum to pass relying purely on my academic aptitude. I've never worked hard in my life but to impress my parents or people around me. I know this is not a good way to "motivate" myself to work.
Another recurring thought is that "I'm never going to find a romantic relationship; I'm going to be alone forever." This one is because of a mental condition that I am aware of, making me see delusions that people are "romantically in love with me." I fall for people I don't know way too easily to fill the hole in my heart- I'm way too desperate for love. But these delusions are always mixed with instances of real love and I can't differentiate them. I can't go after them all or I'm going to get hurt and also bother other people. It really tears me apart and it's so disheartening to know it is going to be so much harder for me than everyone else around me to find someone to love.
I know both these thoughts are definitely not good for my own growth- but the second is mainly to stop troubling others though sacrificing myself. Sometimes I'd rather sacrifice my knowledge to just be rid of these mental conditions.. I feel so broken inside.
I'm so sorry for the text wall and rant 🥹 Thank you so much for making it this far-
@Sentotsu Thank you so much for opening up and sharing Sento. It was an important share and please share more as you feel comfortable. It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of difficult emotions around motivation, relationships, and your mental health. Those thoughts can be really hard to deal with alone. I can understand why feeling broken inside would be so painful. If I can ask you what small acts of self-care or connection help you feel a bit better on tough days? Please know we are all here with you.
@ASilentObserver Thank you so much for your support 💜
To make myself feel better, usually I journal. I try to love myself when I know people around me don't really. I try to be careful not to burn out from work so I take it slowly if I decide to do it. I try to do things that make me happy but sometimes it isn't enough. I do my best to say no and protect myself. Honestly, I can't think of many things... (Which is probably not good-)
I think i am the biggest critic of myself , i see my even tiny mistake so big i cant forgive myself i feel useless, not worthy and i question my existence . I dont know why i have hard time to forgive myself and move on and go on i feel everything i did is just wrong and my life is a mess i can never fix it i just ruined everything
@Mekuland3050 Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Meku. <# It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of difficult emotions. Feeling critical of ourselves can be so hard to bear at times. Please know that you deserve compassion for walking this challenging path. You are not alone in this, we are all here with you to listen to and to support. What feelings tend to arise for you when you're feeling most critical?
Thanks! Its really hard to express , I feel how can i be so stupid to do such mistakes or take this decision turned out wrong? I know humans are destined to be wrong we cant be perfect but i feel because i am stupid i just could get my life together like everyone else why cant i be smart like others and in the end i feel worthless and question my existence .
@Mekuland3050 Feeling worthless and questioning your existence shows how hard you are being on yourself right now. What matters most is that you're trying your best each day. Every person has strengths and areas for growth - please be gentle with yourself as you continue learning and improving. We are all with you here