Weekly Prompt #17: How does depression influence your self-perception and self-esteem?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: How do you maintain focus on tasks when depression makes it difficult to stay engaged? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How does this condition influence your self-perception and self-esteem?
I wanted to start a discussion on how depression affects our perception and self-esteem and if there are any strategies or tips that help you. I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!
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Overcoming depression by setting goals
It makes me feel like I'm worthless and that the world will be better off when I am finally gone.
@akay06 Hi Kay, I am sorry to hear that. It sounds like you're struggling with very difficult feelings of worthlessness and darkness. Your life has value, even when depression convinces you otherwise. You don't have to go through this alone. We all value you and I appreciate your insights and experiences that you share and discuss with us here. We will get through this together. <3 What helps you reconnect with the parts of yourself or activities that bring you a sense of purpose or joy, even on hard days?
I used to be a considerable hiker, but unfortunately, that's not possible right now; just being outside on private property or during less busy times on small trails helps me feel like myself again. It just cannot be too busy or my anxiety goes crazy.
I totally understand where you are, I am there also.
I went looking for an answer, found this: https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-do-if-you-are-feeling-worthless-5087740
I am hoping something will speak out to you, I am going to be reviewing it more myself. Speak kindly to yourself, keep a gratitude journal, do something for someone else, all good reminders.
Keep communicating.
It makes me feel deserving of all the mistreatment I've received.
@PetuliaE Hi Petulia, thank you for opening up <3 I am sorry to hear you're feeling mistreated and deserving of that treatment due to your depression. Your feelings are understandable and valid. Please know you have all of us here with you to listen to and to support. Please take your time to share as you feel comfortable <3
I think it's unfortunate that when we are depressed, our self-perceptions and self-esteem will also be at stake. Our automatic thoughts about ourselves are almost always through a negative lens, so it will affect us on a more personal level. Often, depression distorts how we see ourselves, with the self-perception and self-esteem.
So, I think it is important that we are able to separate our feelings/emotions caused by depression from how we see ourselves to what we are like as a person. Depression shouldn't define us, in regards to self-esteem and self-perception.
As a mental illness, we need to learn to accept how it had changed us. Changed our thoughts, our behaviors, how we see ourselves and the world/people around us. In my case, from my first diagnosis to the current time, it's been 26 years. I've been medication-free for the past 7, going on 8 years. I still have depression, but over these 7/8 years, I've learned to accept that depression will always be a part of me, but there is so much more to life, than being depressed. Yes, there are still times when something triggers me and I'm depressed for days/weeks, but overtime, I've gradually learned to look at the situation in a different perspective and when I really take the time to think about it, I could talk myself out of the depressing mood and somewhat go back to a neutral state of mind.
It is difficult to think positively about ourselves when we are depressed, but it is doable.
@Jaeteuk Hi Jae, Thank you for sharing your experience with depression over the past 26 years. It takes great strength and self-awareness to learn to separate feelings caused by depression from your true self. You clearly have gained much insight. I'm grateful you shared your journey - there is hope in learning to accept illness while still finding life's richness. How has learning to look at situations from a different perspective helped shift your mood back to neutral at times?
Thank you, Obs. My journey had been so rough in the beginning, it's now finally calming down a bit. Learning to look at situations in different perspectives, I usually tend to do that after the depressive episode. Once I've calmed my nerves and mind, I'll look back at what happened and try to see it in a different perspective. But this process varies in time; sometimes, I reflect shortly after the episode, while there had been times where its years down the road (when a similar situation occurs again).
I have been told that I have good insights before, from others who had depression (when I attended group therapy. I was the youngest in the group, with others who were at least 20+ years older than I). I guess insights are developed through all the depressive/traumas journey I have been through and it helps that depression has made me more observant of people and things around me. So, it has its perks.
@Jaeteuk It sounds like you've gained valuable insights through enduring difficult journeys with depression. Developing different perspectives takes time and reflection. You also mention depression increasing your observance - while the struggles you've faced are difficult, being able to understand others with more empathy is an understanding few possess.
Just wanted to say you’re weekly prompts are brilliant Obs ❤️The care and compassion with which you respond is so admirable ☺️
@GoldenRuleJG Thank you Golden. Appreciate your encouragement as well as all your nurturing efforts in the community to support everyone <3
@ASilentObserver 🩵💛👍👩🎨
@ASilentObserver that’s very kind of you💛💛
@ASilentObserver um I'm a freak. But do I think that because of depression? Cause I'm pretty sure it's the truth. Although I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, emotionally unstable and ptsd. I don't really understand my emotions and feelings very well
@ASilentObserver
I've struggled with depression since my teens and I have massive swings from high to low. When I'm in those low periods I am overly rough with myself. I've never had good self-esteem and there's always been some feeling of worthlessness, but in the down times it can be overwhelming. Life has thrown me some wild curveballs and every time I think things are looking up, something happens to bring me right back down a few pegs.
I went to therapy for a little while in my late teens but quit before too long. Looking back I should have probably stayed longer and figured out healthier ways to deal with myself, but 25 years ago there were still a lot more negative thoughts around mental health and needing therapy. I still have trouble admitting I have issues and don't ask for help with anything almost ever. I know many people have had it so much worse than I have and it makes me feel weak for knowing I need help. Simply having depression hurts my self-esteem and perception of myself.
@Sid980 Thank you for sharing so openly about your experience with depression and self-esteem over many years. It sounds like you've faced significant challenges and carried a heavy burden alone for a long time. Simply acknowledging our struggles can help lift some of the weight. I'm glad you felt safe sharing here today. How have you found ways in the past, even small things, to connect with your inner strength during difficult periods?
About ten years ago, when I was in high school, mental health was still a taboo subject, at least in my country. Now, it seems like everyone are talking about it, especially regarding school kids.
Back then, when my struggle with depression began, I felt alone. Nobody took me seriously. I was just a weirdo. Some of my peers ascribed my behavior to some kind of fad, like being emo or something… Teachers threw lines like: “You have everything. What about hungry people in Africa?”
So I blamed myself for my laziness and ungratefulness. I hated myself then. I really thought I was the worst kind of human, having everything you need to thrive, having good people around. And still being depressed.
@Buzzingbeezon
Hi ! Yes It's really sad that earlier generation were neglected because of the lack of awareness and training of teachers and all other people working at the school. We can feel sad if we say to ourselves that our life would have been different if we were at school nowadays. But It's never too late to talk about what we experienced and healing from our past now that people are more open to listen.
I hope that today you feel better and that you can find help if needed :)
@Buzzingbeezon That sounds like an incredibly difficult struggle to face alone with so little understanding from others around you. Your feelings of self-blame and hatred from that time must have been painful to carry. What helped you continue despite facing such challenges to your well-being?
Sending virtual hugs, if okay <3
Depression makes me feel like everyone secretly knows I’m a loser and I always will be. I’m 27 and I have nothing to show for it except the fact that I’m still here, trying. I’ve just never felt good enough or like I belonged.
@spicyavocado3788 It sounds like feeling like a loser and not good enough are heavy burdens to carry. What matters most is that you continue trying each day. You reached out here and sharing, that is a courageous step and I am glad you are taking it. Please know we are all here with you. Avocado. <3
Depression absolutely affects my self perception and self esteem. Both are shot. 30 years on antidepressants, was difficult because sometimes they worked but sometimes not, but at least I had a plan. Psychiatrist was taking me up to 4 pills so I slowly went off all of them 1.5 years ago. I have been deeply depressed since, counsellor wants me to get back with psychiatrist to discuss TMS, scares me to death. I'm at a stale mate. My self perception is I am a waste of space. My self esteem is I have no confidence. It has been several months since I spoke to my counsellor, I made an appt for Oct 11th.
This week's prompt:
How does this condition influence your self-perception and self-esteem?
I wanted to start a discussion on how depression affects our perception and self-esteem and if there are any strategies or tips that help you. I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!
So two things I have to respond to in the question. Right? It's self-perception, which it means how a person perceives themself, which is different under depression. It's also self esteem in which it is about one's worth, how one highly or lowly thinks of one self.
I think I already have low esteem and the self perceived thought that I'm a bad person. So, depression worsens that belief. When I'm depressed/tired/crying, I don't think I'm a worthy friend/person/coworker to be around. I guess it makes me not want to be around people because I feel like my silence/over reaction to pretend I'm not depressed is difficult to be around. In short, I feel like I'm difficult to be around when I'm depressed. I wonder why would anyone want me to hangout with them when I can only hangout for a shorter period of time. I'm not worthy of it, of people helping me.
idk anymore, I'm just rambling...I don't trust everything I say.
@tealBear2472 Thank you for opening up and sharing Bear. It sounds like you've been struggling with low self-esteem and difficult thoughts about yourself for some time. Feeling that way can be so painful. Your feelings are understandable, and you deserve compassion. What helps you cope or find moments of peace during these difficult periods?