@Anxin

Hi Anxin! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was so great to read.

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 101 words and 606 characters.

> Your writing comes across as genuine and your tips and information do not appear to be copy/pasted.

> You provided tips that are doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your writing is 100% unique and unplagiarized.

> The tone of your language was professional and appropriate to the situation.

> Your answer was related to the question and contained tips and approaches to deal with this specific situation.

> You wrote 8 sentences in total.

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you include more active listening skills to show empathy both towards the situation and the readers' feelings in your response.

> Sometimes your article felt a bit like you were giving advice, which we need to avoid as we cannot fully know the scenario or situation a person is facing. A good way to avoid giving direct advice is to consider all possible outcomes and more than one thing the person can try.

> You included 14/30 keywords. It would be great to see you include even more keywords to make your writing more optimised.

> It would be great if you could verify your writing by including at least two reliable sources.

Overall, your article was written in a very professional tone and you included some great ideas that were related to the question topic.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do you when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

It can be difficult to feel good enough for someone if, growing up, our parents often compare us to our peers, or if they are disappointed in us due to our inability to meet their expectations, regardless if we ourselves have made any achievements in our own personal lives. As a result, this makes us feel as if we’re not good enough for our own parents, which can translate into feeling not good enough for our own partners in the future.

Additionally, our constant exposure to social media can further damage our self-esteem, or our own sense of value and worth due to the constant bombardment with “perfect” images of “perfect” individuals living the “perfect” life.

However, there’s good news: you can absolutely overcome such feelings of low self-esteem.

The first step towards boosting your self-esteem is to realize that you can be the greatest individual in the entire world and yet there will always be someone out there who believes you are not good enough for them. But that’s okay, because your whole life isn’t meant to be spent winning over everyone’s approval; that’s impossible! Instead, focus on becoming a better person than you were yesterday. Understand that it’s totally okay to make mistakes, have bad days, struggle, etc. At the end of the day, we are only human beings and therefore we cannot be perfect, not even for ourselves, and definitely not for anyone else. However, we are still capable of accomplishing great things and becoming the amazing person we are meant to become.

However, this is a lot easier said than done, especially with our daily interactions with others and social media, which can heavily impact the way we perceive ourselves.

Here are some tips in order to cope with feeling not good enough for someone:

• Limit your usage on social media. Either you take a social media break one day a week, or you limit the amount of time you spend on it everyday (e.g. limit usage to 1 hour per day), the amount of usage depends on your personal circumstances.

• Consider going into therapy, if available.

• Spend time with family members and friends who make you feel good about yourself. Building healthy relationships can boost your self-esteem

• Challenge your inner critic, negative self-talk, and self-doubt

Sources:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality-disorders/help-me-when-youre-feeling-im-not-good-enough/

https://globalnews.ca/news/3846442/not-good-enough-partner/

@optimisticLand3199

Awesome, thanks for the feedback!

@kindFish9215

Hi Fish! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was amazing to read :).

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 397 words and 2416 characters.

> The tips and information that you shared came across as genuine and not copy/ pasted.

> It was great to see you verify your information through two different reliable sources.

> The tips that you shared were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your writing was completely unique and had 0% plagiarism.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate to the situation.

> Your answer was definitely related to the question and you shared helpful tips to deal with this specific situation.

> You avoided giving any direct advice and considered many different outcomes and reasons for not feeling good enough as well as a range of ideas for readers to try.

> You wrote 21 sentences total.

Constructive Feedback:

> You showed great empathy and active listening skills to help answer the question, but it would be great to see you apply this empathy towards the different feelings the reader may be experiencing as a result of not feeling good enough as well.

> You included 18/30 keywords (usually I would put this in the positives but I'm being extra harsh since your writing was awesome!) - perhaps there could be some opportunities to include even more of the keywords and fully optimise your writing.

Overall, your article had such a great structure that made it easy to read and quickly see the different ideas that you were sharing. It was also really helpful that you included different sources for further reading and to verify your writing.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@kindFish9215

Strong points:

‌You used most of the keyword in a well put way (most)

‌You divided the text into paragraphs to make it more easy to understand and to divide your points

‌You used enough words

‌You were emphatic at the beginning

‌You tried to avoid giving advice but only tips

Were you can get better:

‌At the end, the last point about facing all those issues was too much overlooked for such important problems. I think you should have given it more thought.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

I totally understand how hard it is to deal with not feeling good enough and I am sorry you are going through that. It might have happened with parents, a partner or someone else. It doesn't matter really. It might come from trauma as a children and the best way is therapy or maybe not. Maybe the first step is to realize that they are human beings too and most of all start a journey towards self-love. Go out with family members and have a good time. Don't think about your problem. Later face all those self-doubt, inner critic, negative self-talk. Turn that negative voice in a positive one and your relationship with others will be better I think. You went your whole life with that negative self talk and you don't deserve it and you should be the first person to tell yourself that. You are an amazing person and deserve self confidence and a healthy relationship with yourself. At the end of the day it will help you with communication with the other and also gathering information from them. You may also feel more confident to post on social media if you do not do now. I am telling you all this out of personal experience. I too struggled with self-worth but I am now better thanks to this amazing community. Good luck with everything.

@Ginevra962

Hi Ginevra! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was a pleasure to read.

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 226 words and 1259 characters.

> The tips and information you shared appeared unique and not directly copy/ pasted.

> The tips you shared were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your writing was 100% unique and unplagiarized.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate to the situation.

> You used great active listening skills to set an empathetic tone, which helped you not only answer the question but also the readers' feelings.

> Your answer was definitely related to the question and contained good tips that were specific to this situation.

> You wrote 16 sentences total.

> You included 24/ 30 keywords, great work on creating such an optimised piece of work!

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you verify the information you share by including at least two reliable sources.

> Although you gave a great range of ideas for the situation, sometimes it felt a little like advice in the way it was phrased. For example, instead of saying 'don't think about your problem', you could say 'one idea may be to not think about your problem'.

> The part where you brought in your personal experience at the end was great, it would be awesome to see you expand on this, even more, to connect with readers further.

Overall, you showed such great empathy in your response which really allowed you to connect with readers. The way you brought in your personal experience added a very unique touch, and the range of tips and information you shared meant that there is something helpful for almost any reader there :).

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

Hey there! I liked that you included the keywords, some empathy, as well as tips to consider as part of someone's overall strategy in combating negative self talk in relation to not feeling good enough. I do feel that one thing that could be improved upon is working towards a more academic tone and structure to your post. Some more colloquial words (e.g.: "totally") can detract from a professional tone one may be trying to set. So that may be something to consider going forward. Good job though!

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Human beings often have an internal voice (though some individuals only think in pictures) which can easily influence their whole life. Did you know that we modeled how we talk to ourselves on the way adults (parents, teachers…) used to address us when we were children?

When we grow up loved and surrounded by healthy relationships, our brain has received the information needed to express self-love to ourselves. With encouragement (“You can do it, good luck!”) and comfort ( “You didn’t win, yet you still had a good time!”) during negative emotions such as fear or disappointment, our internal communication reminds us of our self-worth within the moments challenging our self-confidence.

Alas, not everyone benefits from a healthy environment when growing up. Any form of abuse, neglect, or bullying... from family members or influential individuals from our childhood can set negative self-talk that plays our inner critic instead of helping us manage our emotions.

It is the real reason some individuals may seem to you as if to them it was effortless to do the right thing and have success and happiness in their lives while you feel stuck sabotaging yourself with self-doubt.

The good news is : it's possible to become this partner for yourself who tells you that you are good enough and reminds you of the great things you did or the amazing person you are.

In therapy, developing this cheering voice isn’t just the best way to never feel like you are not good enough for someone. At the end of the day it also enables you to become a better person, more aware of your inner mechanisms, and more supportive of others’ successes.

A first step to improving your self-esteem could be to reframe your thoughts the next time you see something on social media that makes you feel like you’re not good enough.

@WhenTheTimeComes

Hi WhenTheTimeComes! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was enlightening to read.

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 390 words and 2248 characters.

> The tips and information you shared seemed well researched and not copy/pasted.

> The tips you provided were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate to the situation.

> Your answer was certainly related to the question and contained tips and approaches to help deal with this specific situation.

> You avoided giving direct advice by giving a range of solutions and possible outcomes/ things the person can try.

> You wrote 14 sentences in total.

> You included all 30/ 30 keywords, congratulations on creating such an optimised piece of writing!

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you verify the information you share by including at least 2 reliable sources.

> Unfortunately your writing has been flagged as it contained 6% plagiarism with the 23-word phrase - 'during negative emotions such as fear or disappointment, our internal communication reminds us of our self-worth within the moments challenging our self-confidence. ', which is copied from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem . This may have been accidental, but you're always welcome to use a plagiarism detector to double-check your work! https://smallseotools.com/plagiarism-checker/ .

> It would be great to see you include more active listening skills in your writing to connect further with readers and ensure you acknowledge how they may be feeling in different situations/ parts of the response.

Overall, the way you incorporated a very personal aspect of your own experiences as a child into the end of your writing was very moving and really allows readers to connect with what you were saying. The way you incorporated the keywords into your writing so fluently made your response feel super professional and optimised to this specific question.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions!

- Izzy274

@Izzy274

Thank you so much for this feedback, it's really interesting, especially the bit about plagiarism as I never expected to have to check it, I just didn't imagine I could end up writing something that someone else may have written.

About this, what I don't understand is, when I go on the source https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem I cannot find the infamous sentence 👀

Would you be able by any chance to screenshot it? Or maybe I didn't understand and it isn't exactly the same sentence, just the same words?

I'll definitely use the plagiarism checking tool in the future! Is it possible to submit an edited version of our answer to improve it with the feedback?

@WhenTheTimeComes

Hi Time!

Wow, now I'm really confused as well!

Reading the page it linked to, I can't see that specific sentence either, however all of the plagiarism detectors we use on CDM are flagging it :o.

I'm not really sure why this may be... perhaps an old version of the website contained it, or it is written in the description/ hidden parts of the website.

You're always welcome to re-do sections of CDM for more feedback, but please don't feel obligated to unless a mentor specifically asks you to! You have been approved for this step of CDM :).

@Izzy274

In some way, I'm happy to see it's not just me ahah!

This is what I thought of as well it might be in the metadata of the website. Even though it's not really a common thing to write sentences like that, so then it could rather be an old version of the website.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Self-Esteem

We often judge our self-worth on the ability to please others, this can be damaging to our self-esteem. So the question is what is self-esteem?

The Mind website offers a great overview of this question https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/

They describe self-esteem as the ability to like and value yourself, to recognise your strengths and positives. This takes a level of self-awareness, to understand your values. We must try and be kind to ourselves so we can love our inner-self. By doing this we can begin to build self-confidence within ourselves that inner voice, and with that comes strength and resilience to say actually I am enough.

One of the things that can harm self-esteem is our relationships and trying too hard to please others. Sadly as much as we would like not everyone in life is going to like you and trying will only lead you to be unhappy. I have experienced similar in my life and having the ability to say I am me, and take me as I am will lead to a better state of mind.

As mind says in their article whilst low self-esteem is not a mental health problem in itself, it could lead to depression and or anxiety. Feeling unvalued can lead to this becoming a reality, be ready to check in with yourself from time to time.

You are good enough

Hope For Healing Foundation

https://hopeforhealingfoundation.org/the-secret-to-confidence-and-self-esteem/?gclid=CjwKCAjwu5yYBhAjEiwAKXk_eHiO5Sf68Pu5OhtMJ9dPQpHwLb0x19HKUi1KX2BeIJ9mvU1lmPAbPBoCHk0QAvD_BwE

Hope for feeling puts this question down to one variable

"People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy."

This self-value ensures they know where they belong and where they are feeling undervalued. They have a sense of knowing they are a person worthy of the right kind of love. Often we chase people who have no time for us or are dealing with their own issues. By understanding, that we are still valuable regardless of others' feelings we find self-love which means we can be in relationships with the people that matter. That comes from feelings of belonging, much like ancient tribes we must find the right one to fight for and when it does not feel right we must find a tribe that will be accepting of the person you are.

You have value and that value will be recognised by the right people, but first, you must recognise that value within yourself. As HFH says in their article once you find this value you begin to change, that change at first might be scary - but over time you become a powerful being worthy of walking this planet.

As humans, we make a choice about what we believe and that power lies within us all. Change is about making that first step, that first choice. In the end, what we choose is how we perceive our reality, our relationships, and our inner voice. Finding that acceptance within our consciousness can change our entire world.

Thank you for reading, I hope this has come a little to answer your question dear reader.

@Simmeon1986

Positive points

It is well organized.

It explains the problem well.

It contains most of the key words.

Incorporating your personal experience is good.

Constructive points

Could have avoided the length.

Could have avoided repeating the sentence from the links.

Could have written in open style rather than advising.

Summary

Overall was good to read and easy to understand, with do-able tips. If avoided the advice and lengthy sentences would have been better.

@Simmeon1986

Hi Simmeon! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was amazing!

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 522 words and 3093 characters.

> The tips and information you shared seemed to be written in a genuine, unique way and not copy/ pasted.

> It was great to see you verify the information and facts you shared by including reliable sources.

> The tips you shared were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your article was flagged for 4% plagiarism due to the quote, however other than that it was completely unique and unplagiarized.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate throughout.

> Your writing was empathetic and used active listening skills to help not only answer their question but their feelings.

> You wrote 32 sentences in total.

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you include a range of more specific tips and approaches to help deal with the question/ situation.

> Sometimes your tone felt a little like advice (e,g, 'We must try and be kind to ourselves') - it would be great to see you give more of a range of ideas so there are more options to work for a range of different readers.

> You included 7/30 keywords. It would be great to see you include more in order to make sure your writing is optimised.

Overall, you showed great knowledge and empathy in your response, and the way that you included quotations as well as extra information and sources helped your writing to feel well-researched and professional.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: It is an unhealthful and a hard situation for any to understand. Unfortunately, it is not an uncommon feeling; many people find themselves in relationships in which they are being convinced that their partner is lowering themselves by being with them. Relationships are not built on human beings but love, trust, and allowing each other to grow individually with equality. There are times when we have to face the fact that our partner is not a good match for us, and it is a common problem addressed globally according to research (www.pubmed.com) and well-known clinics (mayo clinic). The first step is to realize that you are good enough for absolutely anyone and should never question your self-worth. Stay away from self-doubt, the inner critic, or negative self-talk. Keep yourself surrounded by family members, children, and people who can make you feel secure and happy. Take needed efforts to explore the root of the problem. Talk with a trusted friend or counselor who doesn’t judge you. Focus on things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. I also have been through that path, confused, feeling inferior and unworthy to be loved. But, after following these, 'am able to see how much more powerful my feelings are and how it can be churned positively. I do believe with proper support and self-help you can change your lives too. Good luck for your efforts.

@sweetchildbsk

Hi, Bsk! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was super informative!

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 232 words and 1369 characters.

> The tips and information you've shared came across as very genuine and not copy/ pasted.

> You provided tips that were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> You used professional and appropriate language throughout.

> Your writing stayed empathetic throughout and it was great to see you bring in your own experiences.

> Your answer was related to the question and contained specific tips and approaches to help deal with the situation.

> You wrote 14 sentences in total.

> You included 10/30 keywords which made your writing quite optimised.

Constructive Feedback:

> It was great to see you link PubMed as a resource in your response, but it would be great if you could have linked to a Mayo Clinic page as well to further verify your facts.

> Your article flagged for 8% plagiarism with the sentence 'Focus on things that make you feel happy and fulfilled.' from here. This is quite clearly unintentional since the website it flagged has very little to do with the question and it is a short sentence, however in your next steps in CDM as you write the article, it is important that no plagiarism (even accidental) is found so that articles can be published. You can check for plagiarism here.

> Sometimes the tone of your article felt a little like advice even though you gave a range of ideas. Using phrases like 'one option is' or 'some people find... helpful' can prevent it from sounding like advice :).

Overall, the way you included such a range of different responses and techniques to cope with feeling not good enough made your writing really great, and it was awesome to see you bring both your personal experience as well as links to research and other sources to create a well-rounded response.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@sweetchildbsk Article strength :

I loved how informative and professional your article is.

It is also full of empathy and people can understand the root of it.

Improvement needed maybe like an easily written sentence at the end,summary of it all.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What is happiness? Question

Everyone wants to be happy.Happiness is this dream we all chase. But sometimes chasing happiness feels like chasing the horizon. The closer we think we get to it the farther it moves away.
So today I'm putting together this post for everyone out there struggling. And I just want to say that you are not alone. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are enough.
Don't let others ruin this for you.
What I'm about to write is based on experience, the things that I now know are the key to this legendary happiness.
But before I start I just want to tell you guys that happiness isn't a destination.
This might sound cheesy but its true. Once you're happy, as much as you want it too, it won't last forever. We are human, we have our ups and our downs and its okay to be sad sometimes.
But there will come a time where you will have to get back on your feet and continue your journey❤️

@jasmineishereforu

Hi Jasmine, it looks like you may have answered a different question than the one provided for this step of the CDM programme. Please re-attempt this step of the programme and I will give you feedback and process your response :). The question for this topic is:

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Please let me know if you have any questions!

- Izzy

@SoulfullyAButterfly

It sounds like you have been going through a tough patch. The self-doubt and relenting thoughts of “needing” to be good enough can be exhausting. You are not alone; I have also been in a similar situation. I have always felt the need to become a better person in order to be “deserving” of someone. The truth is that we can always be better parents, partners, and friends, but at the end of the day, we are all just human beings, and nobody is perfect, not even the most successful people on social media! You deserve to be relieved from your inner critic because you are enough.

The first step to combat these negative feelings is to change your perception of your self-worth. Sometimes, the real reason we may feel inadequate is because of the voice in our head trivialising our strengths while ruminating on our flaws, despite the fact that we are amazing people deserving of the love of everyone around us.

Some people find it helpful to practice self-love to celebrate their growth and experiences up to this point to build their self-confidence. They would practice self-love through doing activities they enjoy like listening to music. Reflective journaling was also something I found helpful to foster my self-esteem, by allowing me to transition to more positive self-talk and objectively reflect on my experiences.

Communication is also key! The best way to foster healthy relationships is through being open with each other. It can be helpful to express your thoughts to the other person because your concerns are valid and deserve to be addressed.

If you feel like those feelings of self-doubt are overwhelming and straining you physically or mentally, it could also be beneficial to seek professional help like therapy. There’s nothing shameful about going to therapy; in reality, it is a courageous act because not everyone has the courage to do so.

It may take some time to stop the negative self-talk and inner criticism, but I know you’ll get there someday. Good luck and all the best!

Sources:

https://www.birchpsychology.com/birchs-blog/2021/10/22/overthinking-the-culprit-behind-low-self-esteem

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321309#Learning-to-listen-to-yourself

@Ayamii

Hi Ayamii! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was awesome to read!

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 358 words and 2191 characters.

> The tips and information you shared came across as genuine and not copy/ pasted.

> You verified the information you shared through two reliable resources.

> The tips you shared are doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your article had 0% plagiarism and was completely unique.

> You used professional and appropriate language throughout.

> Your article was definitely related to the question and contained tips and approaches to help with this specific situation.

> You avoided giving direct advice very well and provided a great range of ideas.

> You wrote 21 sentences in total.

> You included 25/30 keywords, great work on creating such an optimized piece of writing!

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you include even more empathy within your article, by including more active listening skills.

Overall, your writing showed great insight into the topic and situation, and the way you included both a range of sources and shared your own experiences with the topic allowed your article to be both informative and relatable.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

First of all know your worth,build up your confidence and self love, love yourself for who you are 💜it is very important to know you cant please everyone. Second of all know the reason why do you feel that way? Regardless the reason work you only for yourself, it is not always important what somebody thinks about you, it is important to know who you are, and become a better person for your own good.



@jasmineishereforu

Hi Jasmine! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was great!

Article Strengths:

> The information you shared came across as genuine and not copy/ pasted.

> The tips you shared were doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your writing was 100% unique and contained no plagiarism.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate to the situation.

Constructive Feedback:

> You wrote 77 words and 411 characters. As the minimum requirement is 100 words for this task, it would be great if you had written a little more.

> It would be great to see you verify the information you share through at least 2 reliable sources.

> It would be great to see you include more active listening skills to create a more empathetic tone and not only answer the question but also their feelings.

Overall, your response was very professional and shared some great tips, as well as being totally unique and written in a very genuine way.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@jasmineishereforu

Thankyou for your reply and guidance.

Three positives - Your answer was precise and to the point, it was positive and affirmative and also covered many keywords.

Constructive - It could be less direct and more gentle.

❤️ Thank you for this post! You are awesome ❤️

❤️ About the optimized, approved answer: ❤️

❤️ While the approved and optimized answer did explain a lot, using research and most of the keywords in the process, it didn't dive deep regarding the actual question (the bag helping during panic attacks): It just says a couple of things about it at the very end. It does not include 8-10 sentences, does not show support and/or warmth and lacks anything relatable (like a personal story or empathy). However, it is very informative, so even though it has room for improvement, I understand why it was declared a quality answer. ❤️

❤️ My answer (the rest of the post): ❤️

❤️ I understand the feeling and the "I am not enough" thought. I went and still go through that: my insecurities stopped me from looking for a partner and pursuing my dreams more than once, so I get how tough it can be (specially when we start being happy children and then face this challenging self-doubt). I want you to know that you are not alone, and that your feelings are valid. ❤️

❤️ Sadly, many elements of our life can lead to this insecurity. Sometimes, parents accidentally damage our self-esteem, which can cause us to develop a negative self-talk and inner critic. It also isn't rare for family members to compare us to other people, which affects our perception of our self-worth. Besides, a main source of today's communication is social media, which is often toxic to our self-confidence. I want you to know that none of that is your fault. ❤️

❤️ But there are good news! This does not mean that you'll think "Why am I not a better person?" your whole life. The first step you can take is identifying the reason why you feel this way. Did someone say something hurtful? An event or person caused this lack of self-love? What is making you feel this way? ❤️

❤️ Once you identified the real reason and root, you can challenge it. What is the evidence that proves you are not good enough? Your feelings and thoughts are valid, but that does not mean that what you think/feel is the undeniable truth. For example, let's suppose someone is making you feel bad about yourself: they are being offensive, yes, but are they omniscient? They are not. They are human beings, just like you, and what they say is not right: you truly are an amazing person. ❤️

❤️ To combat the negative self-talk, you can try to replace your unhelpful thoughts. Instead of thinking "I am not good enough", you can think "I am reaching out to improve as a person, which makes me self-aware and emotionally intelligent. I might not be having good luck, but I care and search for information to advance and overcome this insecurity. Those are great things that prove I am resourceful, determined, courageous and strong. I feel that I am not enough, but my feelings are not the impartial, objective reality". It's about a new perspective and challenging your insecurities. ❤️

❤️ You can try to use positive activities, too! Having a good time by doing things that you enjoy can help you to listen to your own voice. You could find out which is your best way to feel more confident (and overall better) by exploring coping mechanisms. You also can reach out to your loved ones and ask for reassurance: you are worthy of affection, so why shouldn't you receive it? And if you are comfortable doing so, you can do therapy: after all, ensuring your emotional wellness always is the right thing to do. ❤️

❤️ At the end of the day, if someone makes you feel that you are not good enough for them, it's their loss and not the other way around. You are worthy of a healthy relationship, you are more than enough and you deserve all the love and happiness of the world. You just have trouble seeing how incredible you are: opening your eyes will help to make your confidence grow. ❤️

❤️ Lastly, I hope your day is as awesome as you. ❤️

@Daf8

Hi Daf! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was awesome!

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 574 words and 3200 characters.

> The tone of your article is genuine and unique and the tips and information you share do not seem copy/ pasted.

> The tips you shared are doable and generally applicable to the situation.

> Your writing was 100% unique and unplagiarized.

> The language you used was professional and appropriate throughout.

> The tone of your writing was always empathetic and you used great active listening skills to help not only answer the question but also their feelings.

> Your answer was definitely related to the question and gave great specific tips and approaches.

> You avoided giving direct advice and gave some great ideas and possible reasons behind not feeling good enough.

> You wrote 35 sentences in total.

> You included 30/30 keywords.

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great if you could consider verifying the information that you shared through at least 2 reliable resources.

Overall, you wrote a super highly optimized article by including all of the keywords, and your empathy and range of many helpful different ideas were all specific to this situation.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy274

@SoulfullyAButterfly

A lot of us go through this feeling of not being good enough. It might be related to our parents or partners, or it might be a result of low self esteem fostered by the social media. This feeling of not being good enough is accompanied by the negative self-talk and self-doubt. We might get so engrossed in what our inner critic says that we tend to drift apart from the real reason of us not feeling good enough.

When this feeling arises, it is important for us to understand the power of self-love and self-worth. We are human beings, and we are all allowed to make mistakes and then strive again to become a better version of ourselves. Being kind and gentle to ourselves during such times is helpful. It can also assist with shifting the voice in our head and gaining more self- confidence. When things are bad, we can always turn outside for support, may it be from family members or in the form of therapy. At the end of the day, it is good to remember that we are not alone.

@loyalace9302

You've written so beautifully🌸😄

Three positive things about your answers :

1) It's empathetic.

2) You've used most of the keywords/key points and the answer is really on point.

3) You've written it really in a professional manner which makes it even better to read🌻😄

@cristlecares thank you for your positive feedback 🤗

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question : What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

This is a great question. We often feel, we are not enough or we are not good enough for someone, may it be for our parents, our friends, our partner, we feel that they deserve someone so better than us or we are not able to give them the love and care they deserve. Trust me this is not just you or me, we all feel this atleast once in our lifetime and it's okay to feel something like this. But this really doesn't mean that you're not enough for them🌻 It's just our thoughts and overthinking, makes us think in this way but it's really not true.

We spend so much time on social media, we look at others social life, we watch happy families on screen, happy relationships on screen and we tend to think that "ahh they're so happy, they're keeping their loved ones happy, I'm not able to do it, I guess I'm not good enough to be ____" but we should understand that whatever we see on screen is not real and we should understand that everyone is different. We all have our own ways of showing love to each other, caring about each other and we should never compare ourselves with someone else, who's so different from us, in every ways 😄

Self-doubt always makes us feel bad and it always makes us ignore our strengths and focus only on our weaknesses. But it's not the same when we think about others🌻 When we think about others/ our loved ones, we see only their strengths and ignore their weaknesses and when we compare their strengths with our weaknesses, we feel that we are really not good enough for them😄 Inspite of this, we should see our strengths too, yes we all have weaknesses but we do have our own strengths/ something we are good at, think about it, see that and you'll know that even you're worthy!

Never compare yourself with others. We all are different and we all are unique. No two person can be same so don't think about your weaknesses and rather think about what makes you beautiful, what makes you special🌻 And if you think you're having a weakness which you should work on, please work on it🌸 When you wanna improve and work on yourself, nobody can stop you from doing it😄

Know that every human being deserves to be loved and to be showed kindness🌻 So instead of overthinking, try to take everything in a positive way, and try to work on it, work on yourself to be the better version of you🌸

And at the end of the day what matters is you, your loved ones and your happiness🌻🌸 It doesn't matter how long you take to improve, be better, be the one you want to be, what matters is your happiness and the beautiful journey😄 Remember happiness doesn't come only when you reach your destination, it comes when you start your journey🌻😄

All the best with your life🌻

@cristlecares

Hi Cris!

Three things I loved about your post!

1) Use of emoji's to promote empathy and warmth

2) It was longer than 100 words which showed thoughtfulness and dedicated time in your reply

3) It's clear that you've read around this topic and you expressed this in your own words :)

One Tip! Perhaps you could have balanced the article out a little more. There was a lot of lovely understanding shown but maybe some more tips or suggestions would have given the reader more guidance.

I really enjoyed reading your response!

🦊

@gentleFox20

Thank you so much for the feedback foxy fox🌻🦊 And yes you're right about the advice/suggestion! I need to learn more about this to be able to give advices/suggestions😄

Will try to remember this point next time🌻

Hugs and Cookies🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

@cristlecares Well said cris! The three most important things I liked in your essay was

1) It is very apt regarding how we as humans usually think. You portrayed our thoughts in a very beautiful manner

2) I liked the way you responded to how we usually think and how we are supposed to think to differentiate between the two

3) The positivity you spread through your message

One tip of improvement I would like to give is you haven't covered all or most of the provided keywords, that is something you could have added in your message but overall, it was awesome cris! Thank you for sharing

@cristlecares

Hi!

Great answer!

Strengths:

-Great use of emojis, grabs attention and helps with breaking the text into sections.

-Lovely ending

-Great information and use of language

Improvement:

- I would avoid the use of such decisive words like "never do this" "do this" and would change it to more of a suggestion type :)

Overall, great work!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

It's hard to feel as though your partner, parents, children, friends or other family members don't see you as the amazing person you are. Feeling this way can damage your self esteem and make it much easier to engage in negative self talk and self doubt.

We can't always control how other people feel about us but a first step may be to connect with this person and see if you can get some information to figure out how to get to a healthy relationship with each other. Communication like this can be very difficult though and you may not get the responses you wish for.

The best thing would be to work on thinking of yourself as a better person and increasing your self-worth. You could do this by participating in self-love activities such as doing things you enjoy, treating yourself, self massage etc.

It could help to remind yourself of the things you like about yourself which could boost your self confidence. Check in with the type of social media content that you are surrounding yourself with too. Comparing yourself to others could reinforce this negative view of yourself when actually you are capable of great things.

At the end of the day, if this is something you're struggling with please reach out and schedule some therapy if that is available to you.

@SoulfullyAButterfly As humans, there always arises a question " What if I am not good enough for them?". It is human tendency to self-doubt ourselves, or even have negative conversations with ourselves. We might fail to understand our worth in people's lives and might feel demotivated or discouraged in life. But the actual question would be, " Is it really worth me self-doubting myself?" Rather than doubting ourselves for the whole life, if we learn to embrace ourselves with our faults or imperfections, life will turn out to be beautiful that it already is. We are all born awesome. The more we compare ourselves with others, the more hurt or discouraged we feel.

What are the factors that lead to self-doubt? It can be after a terrible fight with your partner, or social media where you see a perfect couple posing, family members try to put that thought in your head, you fail to impress your parents, not being confident enough etc. We always have an inner self critic ready to criticize.

The first and the most important step to overcome this is to start loving yourself. You are the best and the most amazing person in this world for yourself. It is very important to know our self-worth, how much we mean to ourselves. Children are the best human beings who are not blinded by these thoughts of not being the best version of themselves. They always do things that make them happy. Self-confidence is the best way to overcome this. Self-esteem builds self confidence in us. All of these emotions are inter-related to each other. Self-love would attract great things in life including having a healthy relationship, having a good and quality time with yourself, having good communication with your peers and a life with peace and harmony. In the end, our peace matters the most as the most important person in your life is YOU!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Oftentimes we feel like we are not good enough for someone else like for example your partner, parents, family members, friends, or even strangers across social media. The first step is to analyze the situation: what makes you think that you are not good enough? What information do you have? Have these people communicated this to you?

Often we project onto others our negative self-talk and the way we see ourselves. If we lack self-esteem and think that we are lacking, then others must do too. But that is not always the case, our inner critic is just very loud. We can even take things that people say in the wrong way because of our lack of self-confidence.

I have been in your situation and these are my top tips:

• Communicate with your loved ones about how you are feeling, especially if they are the ones you think you are disappointing. It can be daunting but you will either get the reassurance that this is not the case, or feedback on how you can become an even better person. Communication is important for a healthy relationship, and being open about our feelings can lead to great things.

• Practice self-love! The best way to increase your sense of self-worth is by loving and accepting who you are. There are plenty of free online resources, including in the 7cups forums. Find the right thing for you, you can journal, meditate, paint, and get creative! If you are still struggling, consider talking to a therapist or psychology professional that can help you navigate these emotions.

• Look at the bigger picture. At the end of the day, there are 8 billion human beings in this world, each of them with their standards and expectations. Not everyone will be your cup of tea and vice versa. That doesn’t reduce their or your worth at all! You are an amazing person capable of great things, independent of how someone else may perceive you.

• Last but not least, it’s amazing to strive for self-improvement and personal growth! However, changing yourself and dedicating your whole life to fit someone else’s expectations is probably not the best idea.

It’s a hard thing to deal with and I understand it may feel frustrating. But the right people in your life will love you for who you are while helping you to become the best version of yourself!

Good luck, you got this! ☺️