Conquering Worry: A Practical Approach to Managing Worry
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. This is week 2 of our Conquering Worry series. Worry is something that can easily take over our minds, but by using a structured approach, we can break free from it. Here’s how you can tackle worry in a practical, step-by-step manner.
Step 1: Get the Facts
Worry often stems from uncertainties, which are usually based on assumptions or incomplete information. To eliminate this, gather all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Knowing the full picture helps reduce anxiety and gives you a clear understanding of the situation. As Charles Kettering puts it: "A problem well stated is a problem half solved."
If you are having trouble being objective, Carnegie recommends imagining you're a lawyer preparing to argue both sides of the case, collecting all evidence for and against you, and then finding the truth between these opposing views.
Carnegie highly recommends writing the facts down. Do not do it in your head!
Step 2: Analyze the Facts
Once you’ve gathered the facts, break down the problem into manageable parts. Write down the problem, its causes, and potential solutions. By analyzing the facts in an organized way, you take away the emotional charge that often accompanies worry.
Step 3: Decide and Act
Once you’ve analyzed the facts, it’s time to make a decision and take action. Worry often arises from indecision and procrastination. Instead of overthinking the situation, choose a course of action and stick to it. The key is to take immediate steps to address the problem.
Here are the questions to help you implement these steps!
- What am I worrying about?
- What can I do about it?
- Here is what I am going to do about it.
- When am I going to start doing it?
Here is what it looks like when applied to a relationship stress issue.
- What am I worrying about?
- I’m worried that my partner and I are growing apart and that our relationship is not as strong as it used to be.
- What can I do about it?
- I can have an open and honest conversation with my partner to express my concerns and work together on improving our relationship.
- Here is what I am going to do about it.
- I will plan a time to sit down with my partner and talk about our feelings.
- When am I going to start doing it?
- I will bring it up tonight when we have some quiet time together.
If you have done the above and still find yourself worried. Another great strategy is to use the following!
A Magic Formula for Solving Worry Situations
Dale Carnegie’s magic formula helps simplify any worry situation and helps you regain control by addressing your fears head-on. This is particularly helpful if you tend to catastrophize a lot.
Ask: What is the worst that can happen?
Identify the worst possible outcome and acknowledge it. This often takes away the fear of the unknown.
Mentally accept the worst-case scenario.
Accepting the worst-case scenario doesn’t mean you’re resigning to failure, but it reduces the fear around it. When you accept it, you lessen its power over you.
Take action to improve the situation.
Once you’ve accepted the worst-case scenario, take action. Focus on what you can do to improve the outcome, no matter how small the step may be. This puts you back in control.
Here is how it looks when applied to the same relationship issue.
- Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?"
- The worst-case scenario is that my partner and I may break up, or that we may continue to drift apart, leading to a relationship that doesn’t feel fulfilling anymore.
- Prepare to accept it if you have to.
- I acknowledge that relationships can go through tough times, and sometimes they don’t work out. If things don’t improve, I can learn from the experience and grow as a person.
- Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.
- I will take action by having an honest conversation with my partner, expressing my concerns, and asking if we can work together on improving the relationship. By taking this step, I feel empowered to address the issue and take control of the outcome.
By following these structured approaches, gathering the facts, analyzing them, and making a decision to act, you’ll begin to feel more in control of your worries. Remember, worry often thrives in uncertainty, and by clarifying the facts and taking action, you break the cycle of overthinking.
Dale Carnegie’s magic formula offers a practical way to address your fears head-on. By identifying and accepting the worst-case scenario, and then taking steps to improve the situation, you can regain your sense of control. It may not always lead to immediate solutions, but it will put you on the path toward progress and empowerment.
Time for the task of the week!
Attention Listeners! Due to the nature of the activity, listeners are encouraged to be mindful of their listener role whilst sharing. You can take part, avoid revealing too many personal details and if possible choose relatively light-hearted topics for the sake of practicing here.
🔦Activities of the week
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
- What am I worrying about?
- What can I do about it?
- Here is what I am going to do about it.
- When am I going to start doing it?
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
- What is the worst that can happen?
- How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred?
- What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now?
Resources and Further Reading
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, Chapter 2
- Catastrophizing
- How to Worry Less and Not Panic
This post is part of the Conquering Worry series, you can find all posts of the series here.
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@Hope I was taught this a few years ago and it really does work. It can put things in perspective and help us to control or fears, worries and also think of what we can actually do. It brings to mind the Serenity Prayer? But I have tried it on a new worry and it makes me feel much better so I hope others will try it.
@MistyMagic
It is interesting how that came to your mind! I was thinking about this prayer when reflecting on this post. It is just so good!
@Hope
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
- What am I worrying about? I am worrying about my pending health to a point I am over thinking what worse can happen
- What can I do about it? I can go to my primary doctor express my concerns and see what she thinks
- Here is what I am going to do about it. Follow the doctor's decision whether be on medication or what her findings come up with
- When am I going to start doing it?
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
- What is the worst that can happen? Worse that can happen is I am given more medications to help with whatever is wrong with me
- How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred? I would suck it up and deal with it the best I can to become healthy again
- What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now? Follow doctors decision if it helps me feel better
@pamharley003
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and proactive approach! It’s clear you’ve taken the time to reflect deeply on your worries and create an actionable plan. Going to your doctor and being open about your concerns is a strong first step, and it’s great that you’re ready to follow through with their guidance.
i have to answer here or I can pm u?
@Amymimy2711
Please answer here
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
What am I worrying about?
Currently, I'm worried about whether I will complete an online course I'm taking. The deadline is under 2 months away, but I still have 6 modules and tests to complete. If I wasn't all over the place doing one thing and the other here or there, then I wouldn't worry as much.
What can I do about it?
Get off 7 Cups and get back studying. 😂😂😂 That's the thing with self paced learning, it's so easy to get consumed with other things.
Here is what I am going to do about it.
Cut back on online time, go to sleep at a reasonable time, stop staying up all night and day to sleep during the day, and actually make time to study.
When am I going to start doing it?
I'll aim to begin the weekend, for sure! I just have to mentally prepare my brain first. 😀
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions.
What is the worst that can happen?
Worst case is I don't complete my coursework and tests, get withdrawn from the course, and then have to take it again.
How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred?
I would be disappointed in myself if that happened. So far, I've passed all my other tests. My lowest grade is a B- so far, but the lowest grade would be dropped. I just need to go ahead and get these last 6 modules done!
What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now?
Well, honestly, the same way I came on 7 Cups to read this and complete this... is the same way I can log on and start reading the modules at least. I probably need to go ahead and do it now, but I'm tired now. I will definitely start no later than the weekend though to get back on track.
@YourCaringConfidant
Thank you for sharing your thoughts so honestly and with humor. Self-paced learning can definitely be tricky when there are so many distractions, but it’s great that you’ve pinpointed exactly what’s getting in the way and set a start date to get back on track.
I noticed we are now into the next week. How is it going with the course?
@Hope I'm making progress! I did some more reading yesterday/wee hours and plan on taking another module test by tomorrow. Thanks for asking and responding. ♡
@Hope
Activities of the week
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
1. What am I worrying about?
I am concerned that my current career trajectory may not align with my financial goals and aspirations.
2. What can I do about it?
I am considering pursuing additional training, certifications, or education to enhance my competitiveness in the job market.
3. Here is what I am going to do about it.
I will enroll in a relevant free online course or workshop within the next two months to further enhance my skills.
4. When am I going to start doing it?
I have started pursuing a professional license in Jan 2025 to qualify for relevant job opportunities while simultaneously enhancing my knowledge and skills through participation in the 7 Cups program this month.
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
1. What is the worst that can happen?
The worst-case scenario would be that despite my efforts to pursue additional training and obtain a professional license, I may still struggle to secure a relevant job that meets my financial goals, leading to prolonged dissatisfaction and uncertainty in my career.
2. How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred?
If that worst-case scenario were to occur, I would likely feel a sense of frustration and disappointment, as well as anxiety about my financial stability and future career prospects.
3. What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now?
To improve the situation immediately, I will conduct informational interviews, update my resume and LinkedIn profile, set short-term networking and skill development goals, seek feedback from mentors, and stay informed through industry articles and webinars.
@Kindness19
Thank you for sharing your reflections. It’s clear that you’re approaching this with a lot of intention and a proactive mindset, which is commendable. Your strategy of combining skill-building with networking and mentorship is a powerful approach. I am hopeful the plan will work out!
Conquering Worry: A Practical Approach to Managing Worry
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
What am I worrying about?
This is a 2 part worry. Making an appointment and then making it TO the appointment.
What can I do about it? I can make the appointment and hope for the best.
Here is what I am going to do about it.
I will sit down and write an email to set up the appointment and explain why I may have to cancel when the appointment is
When am I going to start doing it? I'll start tonight and draft an email.
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
What is the worst that can happen? The worst that could happen is I would have to cancel and reschedule.
How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred? I would feel bad because I don't want to waste anyone's time because I know in this case time is money.
What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now? Prepare and keep an eye on the weather.
@mytwistedsoul This is me and appointments. I'm notorious for missing my appointments and not showing up the day of. As a matter of fact, I just got a letter in the mail saying 1 more no show and I will be taken off their active list. 🤣 It's not funny, but I just have a problem with appointments. I don't know why you miss yours, but if it's serious... I'm hoping you schedule the appointment and actually stick with going! ♡ I'm rooting for you, Twisted. Hope you are doing well and good luck to you! And yes, I'm aware I am being a hypocrite right now. Lol.
@YourCaringConfidant Right now it's mostly a weather issue. I live in the sticks with a switchback lane that takes hours to clear if it snows and is slippy. Gosh that sounds so lame doesn't it? 😅
@mytwistedsoul Doesn't sound lame to me at all. Your reasons seem valid to me vs. just me not wanting to go. I'm a morning person when I mentally prepare my brain ahead. I've gone as far as getting washed and dressed to go just to not go because the time was at 9a and I was tired of waiting for that time to come. You've got legitimate reasons! But let's just root for one another to do best and make the attempts of going for both of our wellbeing and health. ♡
@YourCaringConfidant I usually make appointments as early as they have available. If I don't I'll get distracted or caught up in something and completely lose track of time. Would that help you? Or maybe head that way when you're ready even if it is technically too early? If there's a cafe close you could sit and have a cup of coffee or juice to pass the time.
@mytwistedsoul Same here! That's what I do. If my appointment isn't first thing at opening, I won't make it. That's why I used a past appointment of mine that was at 9a. 9a was too late for me. I got ready and dressed and waited... then got tired of waiting and just didn't go. I have done what you suggested before! If I have an 8a appointment, I'll be in the parking lot at 7:45a waiting for doors to unlock. Even if I'm first in the door, for some reason I'm still not the first one called. 😂 Thanks for responding back with very helpful suggestions. 😀 Hoping your future appointments go well and know that when you do go, I'm proud of you!
@YourCaringConfidant Same! I'll sit in the parking lot and wait or in the waiting room. 😀 The place I need the appointment for has these really old maps hanging in the waiting area and I could study those for hours.
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
What am I worrying about?
I am worrying about my exam marks and grades.
What can I do about it?
Nothing , just pray and hope I get good grades for this exam. And to keep going
Here is what I am going to do about it.
I am going to start journaling in the morning and also spend time praying.
When am I going to start doing it?
Tomorrow,18/1/2025
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
What is the worst that can happen?
I might get a bit low grade than my previous one.
How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred?
Feel bad but accept the fact that I still can do better next time. It’s not the end of the world. I still have got another chance.
What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now?
Pray daily to grow spiritually with God. Journaling my thoughts down on paper. Walk it out or do some physical activity. Do a hobby like crocheting. These tips can help me relax and calm down and stay in the present moment.
@Admirablerainbow2825
Thank you for opening up about your worries. It takes courage to share! It’s completely normal to feel anxious about grades, especially when you’ve worked hard. I love that you’re focusing on mindfulness and spirituality/religion, like journaling and praying, to center yourself.
You have such a healthy perspective on the worst-case scenario, recognizing that even if grades aren’t perfect, it’s not the end. I like the focus on keeping yourself busy!
@Hope
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
1. What am I worrying about? I’m worried about not being able to save enough money to afford a big upcoming purchase I am considering making.
2. What can I do about it? I can set a budget, cut unnecessary expenses, create a savings plan, research ways I can earn some extra money, go through my things and sell unneeded things, and meet with a professional like a financial advisor.
1. What is the worst that can happen? I might fall short of my savings goal, change the options, delay the purchase.
2. How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred? I would feel disappointed, but I would try to stay patient. I would remind myself that this type of purchase cannot be made on a whim, especially after the major life changing purchases I have made in the last couple weeks/months.
3. What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now? I can find one small way to save money today, like cooking dinner at home instead of ordering takeout, I can utilize SMART Goals, find a visual way to track my spending and progress of saving money. Such as researching apps or creating spreadsheets.
@Ivy229
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of consideration into your plan for managing this worry, which is a great first step! Setting a budget and reducing non-essential spending are both powerful strategies for saving, and it’s fantastic that you’re taking immediate action during your long weekend. I hope you were able to do some thinking on this front!
I also love that you’re thinking about incorporating SMART Goals and visual trackers to stay motivated
@Hope
Part 1: Think of the problem that is playing on your mind and answer the following questions.
1. What am I worrying about? I have worried about speaking in front of others.
2. What can I do about it? I can work on doing anything in my control to do the best possible.
3. Here is what I am going to do about it. I am going to practice breathing and my speech.
4. When am I going to start doing it? I am going to start a week before my speech.
Part 2: Now thinking of the same issue, answer the following questions
1. What is the worst that can happen? I could accidentally stutter.
2. How would you feel if that worst-case scenario occurred? I would feel embarrassed, though I know it does happen.
3. What steps can you take, no matter how small, to improve the situation right now? I can research other people who have struggled with public speaking and also talk to friends and family for inspiration.
