Conquering Anxiety: Coping Skills
Hi everyone! Thank you for following our Conquering Anxiety Series. We are in week 3! Last week we covered the cycle of anxiety. Please review the post here if you have not yet. The way this series is planned, it is important to follow the posts in the right order to benefit from the series. So if you stumble upon a random post, I recommend going back to the master and catching up in the right order.
In the last post, we talked about the cycle of anxiety! How the choices we make can weaken or strengthen the cycle. But the reality is, just knowing that we are doing the right thing does not make it any easy. It is still so hard to stand up to anxiety. This is why coping skills exist! These are ways you can make your anxiety manageable, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. They should not be used with the intent to run away from anxiety as that is only going to strengthen the cycle of anxiety. Instead, think of them as your support system while you tackle your fears.
Here are some effective and simple coping strategies
Grounding Techniques
The 5-4-3-2-1 Method
This is one of the most used methods where you ground yourself. Here is how it works:
Look around you and identify
🔎 5 things you can see around you (clock,laptop, phone etc)
📲 4 things you can touch around you or are currently touching (your phone, floor etc)
📢 3 things you are currently hearing (fan, AC, birds chirping, traffic etc)
🌼2 things you are smelling (coffee, your perfume etc)
✨1 emotion you are feeling (Happy, sad, anxious)
It is a good way to take your mind off your intense feeling of anxiety and helps you focus on what is in front of you.
Diaphragmatic Breathing
Also known as belly breathing or abdominal breathing. The best way to understand how to do it is through watching a video such as the one linked below.
If you find this challenging to do while sitting up, try it while lying down and it is a lot easier to do! Once you get used to it, it becomes easier to do it sitting up. This technique can help relax you during times of distress but you should not wait for anxiety to kick in and instead make it a point to practice this for a couple of minutes day and night and make it a part of your routine.
The 4-7-8 Method
These numbers may be easier to remember and use compared to the first numbers technique as this is relatively simpler. We are again focusing on our breathing like the last method, however, it's fine if you can’t do it through your belly just yet!
Here is how you do this
- Let go of any air you are holding (empty your lungs of air)
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
- Hold up to 7 seconds
- Exhale through your mouth, through the lips, and make a whoosh sound (whoosh sound is optional, it's okay if you can’t)
- Do it for 4 cycles!
Remember that this is what we want to work our way up to, it's fine if you can’t hold for 7 seconds yet or exhale in a controlled way, with practice this becomes easy, just do what you can!
The second thing to note is that when we get anxious air feels scarce, and some people don’t want to take deep breaths, in that case, you may not like the Diaphragmatic Breathing in times of heightened anxiety but this 4-7-8 method can work as you don’t have to take deep breaths, just follow the second's rule, focus on that instead of how deep the breath is or where it is going.
Now you have these three techniques, make it a point to practice them again and again so that they become second nature to you and when you do feel the anxiety rising, you don’t have to try and remember what the tools were. Some individuals may prefer one or the other and that's okay, find what works for you!
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Technique
Leaves on a stream
We have learned how to ground ourselves and reduce the intensity of the anxiety we are dealing with. However to be able to do that we need to understand that thoughts are just thoughts, just because you think something does not mean it's true. You can view your thoughts without passing judgment or engaging with them.
To practice this skill, there is a meditation called ‘Leaves on the Stream’
❗Tasks for you
- Go through all three of the grounding exercises and complete them.
- Completes the leaves on the stream meditation
Share with us how these exercises made you feel and one way you can incorporate at least one of these into your daily routine
Further Reading
- Diaphragmatic Breathing
- 7 deep breathing exercises to help you calm anxiety
- How to use 4-7-8 breathing for anxiety
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@Hope
Grounding does not work at all for me. Most breathing techniques work for me but Diaphragmatic breathing works the best. I don't seem to get any benefit from the leaves on the stream either.
@Hope
Yes, I think its useful as I tried a few of these techniques before. But do we get anxiety again when we face the same situation? Is the techniques a complete solution for the anxiety or is there anything we should consider on?
@WeEarth
Those are great questions. The techniques are often not a solution to breaking the cycle of anxiety. Just like you wearing a raincoat while going out in the rain is not going to change the fact that it is raining but it is certainly more comfortable to carry an umbrella or a raincoat!
Think of these as a way to get some comfort and make the experience more manageable. However, these work in collaboration with exposure therapy or other forms of therapy to help manage the anxiety and reduce it over time. We will cover exposure therapy in posts to come, these posts are laying the foundation, providing tools and information. So essentially what we are saying is, we will no longer avoid the rain but before we go out in the rain, look at why we shouldn't run away from the rain, here pick an umbrella or a raincoat. The series will make more and more sense as the posts unfold, the best way is to learn the techniques/internalize the information bit by bit, week by week and we will get where we need to go!
Thank you @Hope for this wonderful response 💓 Looking forward to the upcoming posts 😊
I use 4-6-8 breathing rather than 4-7-8 and I use it whenever I notice my breathing starting to quicken and get away from me.
I actually use the leaves on a stream meditation on a daily basis too. I find that visualizing the leaves on the stream allows me to be non-judgemental towards my thoughts.
@Hope
Done and done! The exercises are quite helpful, but it takes time for us to grow into them, and for them to work efficiently.
And, for trauma survivors or currently dealing, or the ones with DID, it can be hard to be present and mindful since the present seems, not good. But I believe it can help in the long run.
@Hope thank you for this post Hope!
Share with us how these exercises made you feel and one way you can incorporate at least one of these into your daily routine
@Hope Thank you for this post! I'll be honest here, it's after 3a where I am and I just completed the grounding techniques and meditation video. The only one that I got anything out of it was the one requiring me to use all my 5 senses. And still, I would be lying if I said I would take this grounding technique with me for the next day and onward. I am open to trying new things but may not be consistent more than likely. I watched the video leaves on the stream meditation and 8 minutes was quite lengthy. Even in the wee hours and in pure quiet, my mind was not receptive. I tried sending the negativity on its way on that leaf down the stream but that is something I will have to try another day when my mind is open and receptive and actually willing. I appreciate your time you give into posting these series for us anyway, so thank you. ☆
@YourCaringConfidant
I think it maybe challenging to do the 5-4-3-2-1 technique late at night! So that makes sense
Leaves on the stream may actually work better during the day time or at a time where your thoughts tend to run a bit wild. It is 8 minutes but you can even start with 2 minutes and work your way up
There are a few other techniques mentioned that you may find more enjoyable as some take 1-2 minutes to do
Hi! Thanks for posting this! It seems well written.
For me, in the moment, without specifying how long to hold my breath, just taking a deep cleansing breath through my nose, just one, and just holding it as long as I can, not counting or anything — my mind, during these times, needs something super simple (maybe to someone like you, almost comically simple)— and then expelling my breath forcefully through my mouth, with a loud noise if I happen to not be in a public place, seems to work.
Also works (for me)—- this might sound funny, if I am not in a public place, then lying flat on my back on the ground, literally grounding myself by physically putting myself on the literal ground, and noticing the feeling of the ground working its way up through every pore of my skull, back, hips, legs, backs of arms, and gazing at the ceiling or sky above and letting my eyes wander to the clouds or the light fixtures until I am fully relaxed and calm, falling asleep optional if I am in a safe space and time permits, works for me. This one is so powerful for me by now that I can bring myself out of a panic attack by even just imagining lying flat on the ground.
A favorite sky to imagine would be a velvet black night sky 🎇with blazing stars 🌠, perhaps a light pleasant breeze 🌬️🍃💨, no mosquitoes ✋🏽🦟🦟🦟🚫.
Your mileage may vary. You do you! ♥️🥰
Love and Courage,
Rose
@CalmRosebud
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I also prefer not counting and just going off what feels natural. Others may find the seconds count helpful. To each their own!
That is some next-level grounding! It does seem to work in theory, you are using all the same senses, just in a way that feels more natural. It does feel less intensive than remembering the original method.
haha the mosquitos!
