New To The Anxiety Support Community? Introduce Yourself Here!

Greetings, I just recently discovered this site and forum through a (lucky perhaps) browse a few days ago. Here's hoping it can help me decipher what is going on in my own core. I apologize beforehand for the long essay....

I recently discovered my sudden changes in behavior compared to what I was like years ago. Im aware of my shy and serious personality, but It has become more vibrant and present in my daily life and the problem is.... its creeping me out.

Ever since I can remember, my reserved personality has forbidden me to make friends, my mother points it out ot me like a superpower: "Its like you create an invisible barrier around to protect you and isolate from others", she would say.

I knew I was somehow "afraid" of people and certain situations.

During school or family reunions, I distance myself from strangers trying to get to know me, unconsciously.

I tremble if someone asks me something out of a single joke because I really don't know how to cope with their humor or "vibe".

I've even cried during competitions or games, feeling the overwhelming gazes around me.

Ive been raised to only care about doing "well" at school, During my years in elementary, middle and high school I was deemed a disciplined, thoughtful and star student by my teachers, classmates and family members. The issue here is that I did not feel that way... and that's when it all went spiral for me.

I got enrolled in th IB program for my last 2 years of high school. With my history of stress and anxiety, I know even question how I managed to survive that without blacking out. I can still remember the restless days and nights when I cried and sobbed while doing my homework, studying and trying to ease my senses, gently picking myself up, hearing the sounds of my two sides of the mind, each giving me either a cry of despair: "See? you can't keep up with this! Just quit, nobody expected you to come this far anyway...", and the soothing voice of hope: "Listen to me, Its gonna be okay, keep fighting, you CAN do this..."

Long story short, I always try to listen to my hope voice, as I call it, sadly my despair cry keeps getting in the way and it almost shuts me down.

I think little of myself nowadays, I cry more than I smile, 70% of the stuff that made me giggle or kept me positive have no longer an impact in me.

I, wrongly, think or suppose what people around me, think of me. I feel Im bothering my friends, I feel Im a currently a disgrace to my family.

I hear them saying: "You are an admirable person", "I wish I had your brain", "Im really glad to have you as my friend"

And I hear myself thinking: "If what you say is true.... how come I dont believe it?"

Im grateful for their words, I should not be feeling like this.

I doubt my own abilities, I doubt my myself every day....

I fear everything and everyone. I had to makeup excuses at work for my uncontrolled sobbing and sadness to spare the explanations.

So, please, if Im being a burden with the long text or if Im in the wrong thread, let me know...

@acchanthefirst48 Hello there! I'm glad you found 7 cups, and I hope it brings some help to you.

I can definitely relate to a lot of what you said. If you ever want to speak to someone, don't hesitate to message me and we can talk more about it. :)

Hi I have moderate general anxiety and some social anxiety and moderate to severe stress.

HI there I'm new to 7 cups society. I thought I would give this a try before and actual group sitdown. I was going to be a first time mother, but sadly our baby was very early from us , a stillborn. I'm just here to find support in the comfort of my home before going elsewhere.

Hi. I have bipolar disorder with mania, and I suffer from very bad anxiety at times. I just got discharged from an inpatient mental health facility. I have been inpatient seven times now. Most for anxiety, some for severe depression. It just depends on how I'm cycling. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was 15, and have been taking medications since then. I am now trying to take every precaution to become mentally healthy, and trying to stay out of the hospital. I'm glad I found 7 Cups.

Hey I'm a teen trying to cope with being on an emtional roller coaster. I've been having some problems with a few really close friends who don't seem to care about me anymore. I'm learning to be a good listener, so if anyone needs a new perspective on your situation, I'd love to help!

Hi, I have struggled with anxiety for a majority of my life. I remember when I was young & being in the car for long periods of times and having a panic attack unless I was sitting in the front seat. I also made my mom get off at every rest stop so I could go to the bathroom since I was afraid I wouldn't make it to the next one. In middle school, I began to be bullied, not sure what triggered it but people loved to pick on me. This has unfortunately shaped me into a very insecure girl. I'm overly self conscious of things that I say, so most of the time I don't speak up in conversations - if I do I feel like people are analyzing what I said, and will talk about what I said after I leave. Its a fear of mine. I want to be liked by everyone and that's why I sort of distance myself from people (another one of my issues). I feel like I annoy everyone and therefore, take myself out of the group just to make sure that everyone else it happy, even though I am not.....I have much more to explain but it's very hard getting my thoughts into words.

Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope this forum will be able to help me.

I've suffered from anxiety for many years. I grew up in an physically and mentally abusive home and have struggled to get where I am now. I get through most days by playing a part, pretending to be confident and secure. However, I usually feel dead inside and tormented by my thoughts about myself and my family and friends. Things also seem to be getting extremely worse and spiraling down as my relationship seems to becoming abusive.

@cowzgomoo i can relate to your issues. Let me tell you that with time and focus you can reduce your anxiety and depression. Then the bad thoughts about you and others (family and friends) change and you become more confident. You start loving yourself and that protects you from abusive relationships. Learn about boundaries in self help guides. You are not alone, and you deserve to be loved.

@cowzgomoo Stay Strong. Hope things start looking up for you very soon! ❤

hi im matt i am always very stressed, deep in depression, and an anxiety disorder for at least 20 years, (i am 24). i need someone to talk to and help me. im so glad i found 7cups, hopefully this will put an end my horrible thoughts. im lucky to have a job, but all ive been doing is hard construction labor for the last 30 months. my body hurts and i need a change. i need some kind of mentor. i cant talk to my parents about my problems, i haven't told my mom or dad i love you since i was a little kid. emotions are very hard for me. i act like a normal guy when im at work or with friends, i try to be perfect and i mostly just keep to myself. i cant hold on to a girlfriend for more than a couple months because eventually they will notice im not very talkative as i get lost in my thoughts with anxiety. i need someone to mentor me and help me change my life. preferably someone who is professional or trained with psycho therapy, or not i just need help. thanks for reading

@Mattalack I understand your pain. It helps if you find a professional, medications and therapy helps you to stay more focus and its always good to have somebody physically present to ear you, sees you. My therapist gives me hugs in the end of the session. Hugs are important. A 20 second hug releases the bonding hormone and neurotransmitter oxyctocin, which is a natural antidepressant. Besides that you have always 7 cups. We are here for you!

@MissHope31 I can't find a professional on my own. i have seen a professional from a regular local clinic, but i could barley speak. unfortunately she couldn't reschedule because she was moving on to private practices. Its hard for me to open up and i know i would get bad vibes from a psychiatrist because i would ask myself: is everything scripted? or is she asking questions based off what im saying? does she really want to help? or is she doing this because she gets paid? I am against taking medication not only because I will become dependent, but also because it is unhealthy. I would like to see a professional again, preferably a woman, i don't know why. I have looked up local professionals before and I couldn't get the motivation to call, im to scared. its hard to tell someone i need help out loud. There is so many of them i could call for anxiety/depression but which one? i would need someone with a lot of experience and knows exactly what to say, I don't want someone who gives suggestions based off their own opinions. And also how in the world could i afford a therapist, i mean they will be available to see me only if money was involved. which is why i would get a bad vibe from seeing a therapist. i can't do it alone, i need your help :(

@Mattalack I can relate to your problems about getting professional help. It can be hard to trust the world, when we are hurt. My mind works in similar ways. It took me a lot of time to ask for professional help (years). I am still searching for the right person who can ear me, and really wants to help instead of just prescribe medication. Since i found this site, well, things start to change. I started to talk on foruns and in the chats. Here you have so many listeners who can ear you without judging. You maybe dont stay with the first, but keep trying until you find someone that connects with you in the most beautiful way. The chats are very interesting because you dont have the person right in front of you waiting for you to talk. So in my case i took small steps. I only had one or two conversation on chat and it was offline. I start to feel anxious when it is on real time, hopefully my listener caught me on real time the second time i send him a message and it was great. I also signed up as a listener, but i am a little afraid, i confess because i dont want to say anything wrong to the person that needs help. I smiled (with my heart) when you said you need my help. It is so nice to ear that. I can hear you gladly. Keep hope in your heart. Lots of love and smiles.

@MissHope31, thank you for understanding my struggles. i have found a listener who ears me and has helped, my self esteem is growing and ive been making better decisions. but there are still times where i feel i have a lot of negative self esteem. i am actually starting to look for a new listener, who understands me better. may i ask what your listener name is? or maybe you can send me a message. i usually get on here once a night now or every couple of days. I have a lot of situations that i need help understanding so i can tackle them in a positive way. thank you

@Mattalack i remember you and want to find you and for coincide or not, you have replied me again :) thank you for that. I am trying to find you as a listener but had not succeed. And also i dont know if i can reveal my name here as a listener maybe it is against the rules. So i will try to ask support on that. In the meanwhile please tell me something here, so i wont lose your track. And by the way happy new year. Kisses and Hugs. Lots of love. Peace!!

Hello, I

@Lokalai I have similar issues. I feel like my family did not understand my pain, despite their support. In my childhood my family always criticized me for being to sensitive. I am learning how to believe in myself and overcome all the critical opinions of them about myself. Besides that i leave my job because of anxiety, just like you has kept me from pursuing my career. However after finding this site i made some incredible progress, i even talked with some elements of my family and search for job opportunities. You are right any progress no matter how minimal it may be it helps. Keep the good work. You are not alone.

@MissHope31 Thank you, I find it bittersweet to know that other people go through the same and similar struggles in life. But hearing that other people are making good progress like you, it's definitely more sweet. It also gives me the hope that I'll be able to keep progressing in my battle with it too.

Hi I'm Kirsten and I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a broken home with my parents always fighting and yelling at either me or my brother. Though it's still like this today, I've kind of learned to cope with it. My friends tend to make fun of me when I get nervous about something little like just asking the teacher for a pencil but I cannot do it without my face getting red and my hands shaking and my breathing getting insanely irregular.

@kirsteng123 Hi Kirsten! I'm glad you've found 7 cups. I can definitely relate to the not being able to ask for simple things. I usually ask a friend to go ask something for me, but I've been working on it! I hope you can find the support and resources you need here at 7 cups. If you ever need a listener, don't hesitate to message me. Take care!

Now that I've been on 7 Cups for a couple of weeks and gotten a feel for things, I thought it was time to introduce myself.

My name is Kate. Have you seen the Disney movie "Tangled"? Congratulations, you've seen my origin story.

In truth, this Rapunzel didn't free herself from the tower until she was 27, and the damage was long-past. The emotional and psychological abuse (Mother Goethel has NOTHING on the things my mom would say), left me devastatingly insecure, with a good deal of social anxiety, and horrible general anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD.

I have my rollercoaster of recovery like everyone else does, and the last six months have actually been a pretty big dip, but it was helpful to find 7 Cups and the wonderful Listeners and Forums full of kind and understanding people. I appreciate you all so much!

@parrhesiakate welcome

Hello, I am a full time caregiver for my father who has vascular dementia and alzheimer's. I have asperger's syndrome and right now my anxiety and depression are having a turf war..... Night time is the worst, I spend the night worrying about decisions I have made and decisions I need to make. What the next day will hold....what new developement do I have to try and cope with.... the list goes on and on.....

@pinkFarm4925

I identify with many Asperger's symptoms and I hate decisions. I get easily overwhelmed and frustrated.

Reading everyone's post here have made me feel like my experience is little compared to what others have suffered. However, I know that other's pain does not disqualify my pain.

I grew up in a nuclear family. I had a great father, mother and a brother. We were not exactly economically stable but we managed.

While my mother went out of the state to do a project from her work, we invited an abused woman and her children to our house. She was running away but there was no space for her in the care program... So my mother took her in.

My father cheated on my mother, he slept with the runaway woman while my mom was out working.

I felt betrayed, grossed out since I was the one catching them on the act.

He kicked us out of the house and sold our car. Left us with nothing so that this other family could take in. I really loved my father, but his actions broke me apart. I haven't ever seen him as my father again. Just a sperm doner.

My mother worked 4 jobs to feed both of her children, never resting and constantlyy getting sick.

At school, I was verbally and physically abused by my classmates because I was fat and ugly. I was targeted on every group of people I joined, locked inside the restroom till night, pushed around and laughed at. And the teachers couldn't do anything because most of the kids had rich parents who bribed the principal to not expell them.

I was bullied at school and home was lonely and miserable. I used to pinch my fingers with needles and watch the blood drip from them, it was my way of coping. It stinged when I tried to hold anything.

Life was nothing but pain for years, I couldn't bare to see my mother cry every night and my brother attempting suicide.

This year, however, it's better. We live in another country, bought a small house and be economically stable. My past left a scar and now I have sever social anxiety, I struggle on trusting people and opening up. I'm currently into pet therapy since I refused to talk with a therapist. I have a dog and I'm reallt happy. I joined this great group of people who understand my struggles and have common interests.

Things do get better. Trust me.

Hi.. I've come here to try and seek help I guess. I've been through dealing with anxiety and depression since very early teens. I thought I had over come this I've been doing so well the past year. But I've just had a miscarriage and I'm back to square one. The feeling of wanting to hurt myself is back, the lack of interest in my diabetes is back, the lack of controlling it so now I lose weight is back. I need to talk.

@Miriamemily Hey, I'm glad you've joined us here at 7 cups! I'm very sorry to hear about your recent struggles. A 1-1 with a listener is a great place to start! Don't be discouraged if you don't find a listener you click with right away, keep trying! You'll find one! There's also the group chat rooms as well that may be helpful. I hope you find the support you need and are looking for.

I've suffered from anxiety (especially social anxiety) and self hatred for a while. I grew up being bullied by someone who was once a pretty close friend of mine. I have a few friends now, but my my closest friend seems to not really care about me at all. I try to be happy and confident every day but it's hard for me, I feel like I'm wearing a mask. I feel like nobody really cares how I feel. I mentally abuse myself, I always think negatively towards myself. It's hard for me to have a normal conversation and when I do, I always screw it up somehow. I love being around people but I hate having to struggle through a conversation with someone.

@icedamericano I know how that feels, but I believ you can get better and feel better. You can do it.

@icedamericano

I identify with that too and don't have any advice but hopefully we can both get something we need.

Most of my teen years I was homeless and living off of "family friends" who took advantage of my willingness to earn my keep. 10 years later, I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship which threw me into a self loathing spiral, although I managed to break out of the relationship over 2 years years ago, I have just now began to heal the wounds caused by my childhood and previous abuses (self or otherwise).

I'm Eric and I get upset and say sorry for just existing it seems anymore. i don't know what to do, but I admitted to my family that I need to go to therapy. I think I will feel better in the furture. I just wish I could see myself as someone good. I want to be happy and not worry about everything.

@fragilefawn Hey! I can understand what you're going through. I, too, apologize for anything and everything. But you telling your family that you think you need therapy is a great first step - I'm sure you'll feel much better!

Hi everybody!

My name is Charly and i've been struggling with anxiety and agoraphobia for a while now. I'm seeing a therapist so that's new but agoraphobia is still a huge thing in my life.
For people who don't know what agoraphobia is, it makes me don't want to go outside, if i'm at a public place im freaking out. So that makes my life not that much fun for a 21 year old girl. i'm kinda holding on tho, some weeks are good some week are bad I guess a lot of people can relate to that.

So if anyone is also having problems with anxiety and agoraphobia maybe we can chat about it, help eachother etc.

Thanks for reading,
Cheers, Charly xx

@CharlyCharly

Hello CharlyCharly, I understand how you feel I've had depression and anxiety/panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I was usually able to function with medication until recently. My Mom passed away in July and after everything was finished up the anxiety, depression and panic attacks became very bad. Also, I now am at the point where I'm getting afraid to leave the house and have to force myself. It's definitely no fun.

I did get a book that I'm finding quite interesting, I'm still reading it......it's called "at last a life" by Paul David, he has a website and even an IPhone app. both of which are good. I can take him seriously cause just by reading his descriptions of the "feelings" and "fears" you know he's been through this himself. Anyway, I thought I'd share this as it may help us both. Btw I got mine at Amazon and use the kindle app.

take care 🙏🏻

Brian

Hey I am Kate just moved to a new school.......small town........ Halfway through high school have been bullied since gr3 suffered eating disorders since gr4 and self harmed from gr6-9 currently in gr11 I have anxiety........but talk to my mom and it's not anxiety just stress..........don't sleep at night........its just because of screens not my nightmares or anxiety........ I feel so bad about being here sometimes and then I eel guilty about that because I have it soooo good food in my stomach a warm home etc. When some ppl don't have that. I am not suicidal anymore but I still hate myself so much sometimes and it's so hard.......I feel like I have no one currently my anxiety is the problem because it propels my sleepless nights and I am pretty sure it affects my feeling of inadequacy but I just don't know how to stop it tips?

Hi Kate,

Those feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy can be symptoms of depression. There is nothing wrong with feeling thankful but there is when you feel you don't deserve anything you have. Does this describe how you are feeling? I ask because I used to feel that way. Also during this time I had an anxiety attack or an episode of depressive agitation where I felt the sky really was falling. (Poor chicken little, lol).

These feelings aren't only stress related but our illnesses can be exacerbated by it. Please don't ignore these signs. It does mean the stress has got to go as much as possible.

Hello, you can call me Cora. I'm seventeen and I live in a small town in Washington. I've suffered from severe anxiety and depression for the past ten years or more. I've found myself at the point now where I'm in total fear of the moon because my irrational fears tell me that it's destined to collide into our planet, and at times I have trouble sleeping at night afraid my breathing may just stop in my sleep. For me, every mole hill is a mountain. But I'm generally an optimist person. I try to be encouraging and helpful as much as I can and my confidence, even though it dwindles at times, is pretty high. I know there's a life for myself beyond this. It just feels like every odd is against me between dealing with these disorders and dealing with years worth of unfinished emotional business. I feel totally lost on where to go in life, who I want to be, and how to live with the cards I've been dealt. It feels nearly impossible. I would like some help before I find myself too afraid to reach out, and too afraid to change.

Thank you for your time and have a beautiful day.

- Cora

Hi I'm Jasmin. I have always had anxiety, but has recently gotten really bad. I tend to go to the ER a lot thinking that whatever I'm feeling is life threatening. If it's not one issue its another. I go to the doctor a lot. I can't stop worrying. I tend to ask for reassurance a lot. It has consumed me. I just recently started therapy last week.