Summary Discussion The Fear of Aging
Last week in the discussion We spoke about the fear of aging> I would like to add a little more to it of the 5 fears of aging and what they mean.
As we all begin to get older we are faced with some concerns for ourselves. I know personally I am going to be 60 soon and wonder do I have my life where it needs to be and to what means can I make to make sure my life ones are taken care of.
There are 5 main fear to people as we get old:
1. Losing independence - We fear as we grow older the need to ask family or friends for help because we can not do things like we did when we were younger. We may ask for help around the inside and outside of our homes because we can not bend or carry things we need to do in keeping our homes looking good.
We may ask in helping to take care of ourselves if we are living with our children because we grew to old to live alone. We may have a hard time cooking or just plain taking care of our hygiene.
2. Deteriorating health - As we begin to age we may be faced with medical bot mental and physical health problems. We may have a stroke enabling us not to function with daily activities. We may have a heart attack , cancer or alzeheimer disease.
3. Loneliness - When we live alone because our children grew old enough to leave home or lost a spouse to passing away we experience being sad to be alone. Our children may live in another star or country and seeing them like we did can cause loneliness.
4. Financial insecurities - As we age we begin to worry if we will have money to survive as the economy is changing, forcing more demand on rent, gas for vehicles, food increases and medication increases. We begin to wonder if our Social Security will be enough to make ends meet or will we have to take on part time jobs just to survive.
5. Death - not a topic I want to think about but it is a way of life and we need to make sure our finances are in place if we should leave it to others to take care of. Many begin to feel if there will be pain and suffering experienced when we do pass.
How can we deal with these fears mentioned above, we can keep a healthy intake of our lives. We can eat and exercise more to prolong a healthy life style. We begin to take hold of our emotional help speaking to family or friends maybe even seeing a therapist to help us cope with it.
We can get involved in community activities to keep our time going and not be lonely. Take courses on aging so we can be better prepared for the process.
What are some fears you may have and how can we support each other so we are not alone?
to add or remove your name from the taglist please click here
UPDATED TAGLIST 10/6/2024
@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @8Khaleesi8 @allen99 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia763 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureblueheron @azuladragon34 @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BlackApple6420 @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Blueskye24 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @BrightSugar1923 @brightZebra 8925 @bubblePomegranate7179 @BurdensDown @cafelatte46 @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @CaringSub @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @caughtinthemiddle @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @compassionteHuman5626 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @conscientiousCoconut8216 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @coolvibes @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @courageousLemon182 @CourageousSpring2022 @courteousLime9432 @CreativeYard1702 @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305 @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981 @DDPaintsStuff @DeeGold @DELTA0112 @Den2542 @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @emotional232023 @enigmaticOcean8813 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @fearlessSouth4632 @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @FriendlyAnju777 @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @goodStrawberries7059 @GothamRam @gracefulDay3692 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Grammy23 @Gr8ful1974 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @hoppa12 @HealingGriz @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @icanremember @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @impartialRaspberries1389 @indigolilly1500 @indigoFriend7851 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370 @junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @lelahni @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop
@mabelanne20 @madhu @Maebyb@Maka10 @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Mellieme l1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @Nanci @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @NightListener3262 @nippycat @NotAllHere713 @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @PetiteSouris @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @powerfulOak2587 @powerfulMaple1852 @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Proudme @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purpleNorth4637 @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @purpleCircle8013 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @RavingTiger @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliableHickory3670 @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @RogueOne1983 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @selfdisciplinedPenny281 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @ShadowFaerie @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @SloRollin62 @smead85 @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @spongbobishappy @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @stilltrying126 @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @stampy853 @StillSurvivingThriving @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @sympatheticCat267 @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Tri2BHappy @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @unicornbarb @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @Yashoda108 @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @yzzil @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl @ZeeshanZahir
@pamharley003 good thread. You hit on many good points. What about loss of meaning and purpose?
@soulsings absolutely! I always feel that there is an ignorance and arrogance of some youngsters, thinking that they know it all, feeling invincible, but for a few they are aware that there is more to life and that experience and wisdom gives some of that more. After all "you don't know what you don't know!"
@soulsings
I missed a lot of other points but got those thinking their important.
@pamharley003 well I look at the points you made and am grateful.
@pamharley003
Good post Pam, some interesting points.
I think one aspect that youngsters don't even think about is the fact that as we all get older we sometimes actually lose more friends through illnesses and old age rather than any other cause.
Life is almost like a pyramid ride. We start off with millions being born at the base and then end up with very few reaching 💯+
@MistyMagic
Some younger people do not know what we or our grandparents faced growing up. Some feel they have the life made with new technology around.
@pamharley003
You did an amazing job on this thread pam!
What are some fears you may have and how can we support each other so we are not alone?
My biggest fear would be losing mobility and getting Alzheimer's, but I believe there will be some sort of solution by getting help. I learn a lot here and find coming here gives me much support.
@amiablePeace77
I am really proud of this post some are easier than others. My goal is to do a summary of a topic discussed and add further education or other thins that may not of been spoken about in the discussion
@pamharley003
What are some fears you may have?
Not so much fears, but what is happening to elders (especially in Western society):
- lack of employment opportunity based on age (ageism)
- that 'elders' have nothing to contribute to society /economy anymore, or are no longer to 'learn' new things
- ageist beliefs & policies - not everyone in 'elder' years get 'stuck' in their 'ways'
How can we support each other so we are not alone?
- Check in regularly with our elders, whether by phone or in real life.
- Invite/plan get together, whether just to go for a walk, coffee/tea, a phone call
- just MAKE TIME for our elders, in whatever that looks like
@CaringSub
Living anywhere in the world is hard on everyone we all learn to face our fears and work on illuminating them if possible
@pamharley003
Hi, Harley,
This seems like a really good article, but...it is very hard for me to look at and read. I have enough trouble in my life, so I am going to skip it. Thank you anyway.
I've already figured it out, for the most part. Finances are taken care of for the foreseeable future. Am a mostly solitary creature & never been married, so anything having to do with children doesn't come up...(Far as I know, I don't have any)
The only future certainties that worry me are loss of independence, & losing the ability to look after what I have. Already seen what happens to the elderly so I know that long life is rarely, if ever, a blessing. When the day comes where I cannot do what I need to do, that will be the day I d!e. It doesn't matter how I d!e as long as it's quick with any suffering minimized. Death doesn't scare me that much...not as much as the other two possibilities you listed. You could say I'm using one fate to eliminate two.
I became a landowner this year. I will pass on there, one way or another. Hopefully the trees & plants will benefit from my corpse.
@pamharley003 If you don't mind my asking, why do you post everything in boldface type?
@slowdecline48
I am sorry if my posts in bold bother you. I have trouble seeing and bold letters help me in typing. My apologize for doing it
@pamharley003 Thanks for this post. I can relate some. I do not fear Aging, but it has its challenges. I will be turning 50 next year. Some things I like about getting older and some things I do not like.
One thing I like about getting older, is I feel I have more wisdom now. One thing, I do not like, is it takes a bit longer to recover from aches and pains of the body, and more aches and pains develop too.
How about you?
What do you like about getting older and what do you not like?
@calmMango9611
I wish I had more time to do things I wanted to do when I was younger. Now it is hard with the health issues I face, but I carry on the best I can. I also love telling the younger generation wait till you get to the golden years it is not so peachy like the rice krispies cereal snap crackle pop and toot lol
@pamharley003
Hello, thanks for this post.
For me, aging has played an important role in my life and my husband's. I turned 73 this month and my husband is 76. He has Dementia that has been getting worse, triple bypass, hypertension, diabetes, and colitis. Plus the fact he is a Viet-Nam vet has made life hard for both of us. However, we have managed to be together for 52 years. Now I am having my own medical issues but we have already made and registered our Wills and Power of Attorney with the courts. We have already made all the funeral arrangements. Have paid for burial plots and all is well with preplanning.
However now getting unable to do the things I once could and my husband needs more care, and a daughter who is too busy working to meet most of our needs, makes me fearful that we might wind up in a nursing home which scares the crap out of me. I am struggling to meet my husband's needs and wearing my health down. Learning to roll with things as they come I guess❤️
@WorkinggitThrough2 you face similar issues as I do but there may be in home services available 8f you live in the United States. Pm me if want to discuss in chat.
@soulsings
Thanks so much, I will PM you❤️
@WorkingitThrough2. I can relate. My partner is 76 with memory problems and many physical health problems. It is very challenging. I hope that @soulsings will have some good ideas that will be helpful for you.
@adventurousBranch3786
Fingers crossed and toes🙏and prayer😊
After getting laid off a few years ago (on the day before my birthday), and then getting cancer, my savings have dwindled very badly, and Social Security isn't enough (aren't we all tired of the cost-of-living "raises" we get? They're a bad joke!) And so I too have to take on a part-time job.
I started two days ago, and oh my god I don't know if I can do it. I'm out of shape from being home recovering, and I damn near collapsed. It's a job at a retail store where I have to be on my feet a lot. Again, I have to wonder why I keep going. What do I have to look forward to? Old age, poverty and drudging until the end. God, I have so many regrets. Is there no way out of this?
@goodSpruce3041 I am sorry for the health issues you are facing I myself am battling a few. I hope things can get better for us and lower the price of things try going out to eat somewhere it is not cheap. The cost of anything outside our home is getting bad and people are trying to skimp and save their money.
@Sarrahbhai
Good idea to put some money away for your dream retirement. The place you describe sounds amazing!
@Sarrahbhai
We may feel we are alone but as a community we are here for everyone
@pamharley003 so true Pam!
lI feel llike if I live my life in an upright way that the end of life is not so scary as if I did things that I knew were not right or at least have a change of heart and live differently now that I discovered my shortcomings.
