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goodSpruce3041
1 90,320 M Marching Ahead 6
PathStep 57 Compassion hearts9,439 Forum posts76 Forum upvotes161 Current upvotes161 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2018
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None of your business!
Recent forum posts
Very scared
50 & Over Community / by goodSpruce3041
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hello all. Life has not been kind to me. Too many tragedies and losses to talk about here. Current problem is that I got laid off and then got cancer, and then had after-affects that set me back. Good news is that I'm healthy again (and grateful for it). But I'm running out of savings and have to get a job again. BUT I'm nearly 70 (look much younger, thankfully). I'm scared I won't get hired because of my age. I have an apartment and the rent has gone up so much (damned economy). The layoff and cancer took most of my savings. I'll never get to retire! It'll be just drudge until I die, probably. My family (what's left of it) can't help. What a terrible life, all my hopes and dreams are dead. How do I go on? Why should I got on? Please someone talk to me and pray for me, maybe God will listen to you (never listens to me).
Despair
50 & Over Community / by goodSpruce3041
Last post
 May 4th
...See more Hello, all. Please pray for me. I've survived cancer, but I don't know if I can survive beyond it. Prior to getting my diagnosis, I was laid off from a job I'd been at for over 20 years. I got a truly insulting severance (and the gov't always takes a big bite out of those), and that, plus my cancer treatment expenses, really depleted my savings. I'm in my late 60's. My twin brother committed suicide some years ago, and my sister died of cancer shortly thereafter. I feel so alone, and worrying about money keeps me up at night. I can never retire now. I'll have to find another job at my age! I really don't know if I can continue. Please pray for me. God doesn't listen to me, but maybe you'll reach him, if he exists. Thank you.
I just feel like a fool for trying and that it's no use now
50 & Over Community / by goodSpruce3041
Last post
 January 24th
...See more I'm in my 60's. I worked hard to achieve, to make something of my talents, but I have failed - that is, I have developed my talents so that I'm actually good at what I do - some say very good (made the Dean's List at my college), but I can't make much money at it. Because of a layoff, cancer, and an auto-immune disorder, plus having to isolate because of COVID (my doctor thinks that the vaccine might have GIVEN me the auto-immune disorder), I have been stuck at home for nearly two years. My savings have drastically dwindled. I will never be able to retire unless a miracle happens. I feel like I ruined my life chasing my dreams. All I want to do now is just wait for the inevitable bad end. Get evicted, and end it.
Afraid all of the time
50 & Over Community / by goodSpruce3041
Last post
 January 25th
...See more HI all. Well, I've had a pretty crappy life. I was sick a lot as a kid, and my dad (a monster) yelled at me because my medicine cost so much. When I reached 13 years of age, he tried to molest me. My mother was cold and in over her head, so she wasn't much help. All of us kids were emotionally abused and neglected. When I was in high school, I had a terrible skin condition that killed any chance of a social life. In adulthood, I tried hard to make my dreams come true. I got close to some wonderful opportunities, but they slipped through my fingers. I grew despondent and all my life I've never really had a career, just jobs. A few years ago, my twin brother committed suicide. A few months later, my sister, who was my best friend, died of cancer (we thought she was getting better). A few years after that my division at work was shut down and we all got laid off. I managed to get a new job, then discovered that I had cancer. The good news is that the surgeon got all the cancer (for now). The bad news is that I had to resign from my job because of the recovery time, plus fear of COVID (could not mingle with people because chemo destroys your immune system). I have been stuck in my apartment for 2 years now. I'm healthy again, for the most part, but I don't think I can go on. Because here I am at 68, with much of my savings gone and no job. I will never be able to retire. I often think about just ending it all, like my brother did. I'm so sick of being a failure and being afraid all of the time. I fear not being able to find a job, running out of money, being evicted. I chased a dream and now it's over.
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