Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm gonna get ready now to go see joshua ❤❤ I'll be back as soon as I can ❤ I love you ❤ you try and have a old man nap😁❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami insurance going through long term disability? That's good right??
I'm glad your ear is feeling better, and your all sorted for the hospital ❤ well done ❤I'm sorry I can't hug you back right now... I'm enjoying my scalp massarge to much😁 I've just came back inside, my carers changed me into my pjs and dressing gown and sealed me up in bed with some tea😁 it's soooo cold out there, I can't feel my 2 fingers and thumb🥶
@Tinywhisper11
Here there is a government disability benefit and also through my health and life insurance. And through my health and life insurance I pay into a disability insurance program. That if approved pays me a portion of what I would be making if I was able to work. Short term disability obviously is for short term, the actual time frame I am not sure. I only figured out that the time was ending for short term because the amount deposited into my account drastically reduced. So after trying to navigate the insurance website I found out this process for the change is starting .
I’m jealous, I don’t have anybody to change my clothes.
I was just thinking that it might be nice to temporarily not feel mine. But that would only involve the nerves, my issue is the cramping of arthritis.
Temperature is starting to drop here and actually got a little mix of rain and snow pellets today. I wouldn’t have known except for the fact that the snow pellets were coming down rapidly and pelting the house, windows and vehicles. So I hobbled to the door in time to see the beginning of possibly 7-8 months of winter weather.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami wow snow already😍 we sometimes have snow here but only for a day or two, if were lucky😁 and when it snows, it's like everything stands still, or schools are closed. Most of the work places have very limited staff, lots forced to close. It's quite magical😁❤ 7-8 months of winter 😮😮 that's almost a year!!! 😮😮 ok so long term disability is a good thing then, then you won't have to worry about your recovery time ❤ although they should have sent you a letter to let you know it's changing. You don't really want to loose feeling in your fingers, I'm guessing your athritis is extremely painful🙁 bless you. It's not easy getting used to having missing fingers, it's surprising how hard things can be, especially at first. Hugs you tightly ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami do you like the snow??or just watching it fall?? I couldn't take my eyes of the window, when it showed here last ❤ sometimes when the nights come quicker, and the mornings are shorter. I wish us humans could hibernate😂😂 but then I instantly think about xmas, thanksgiving and all the stuff we would miss. I don't want to waste a single second of this world
@Tinywhisper11
Snow I don’t know if I liked it in the past or not but after dealing with it here, I am not a fan.
I hope you never lose that love for experiencing life and seeing the beauty in most everything. ❤️❤️❤️
Me I’m just an old cranky Scrooge.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm with you on the bah humbug Iam
@Tinywhisper11
I just reread this message and a couple prior because I don’t remember reading them, as usual. I read my response and between the two I think it triggered a glimpse of times possibly spent intentionally or unintentionally watching the vast sky and all the stars in sight, also watching the sky when very few stars are seen, watching shooting stars cross the vast horizon. Sitting on something way up high , watching the lightning strike all around me , watching the snow falling in the gentlest of ways. I don’t know if I enjoyed that or not, I don’t even know if it’s things that I experienced or things that other people described that are mixed in my thoughts.
Someday maybe you or twist or any of our friends might show me how to see the beauty in all these things that I can’t.
I truly and deeply hope that you never lose hold on that inner beauty that is the core of all the love and kindness, compassion, empathy, well I think I have rattled these and many other qualities along with many that I am sure that I can’t see, That beauty that also flows through your eyes and sees the beauty in most everything around you. ❤️❤️
I seem to keep getting glimpses of the beauty that you see, but it’s like I am seeing it only through a small hole in the wall.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I have to go ❤ I'll be back soon ❤ hugs you tightly ❤ my woman intuition is telling me that something's wrong/bothering you? Or perhaps your tired😕 whatever it is, this is your safe place, not mine, so get it all of your chest, venting helps, clear your mind🙂 ❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Your woman intuition or just knowing me…..❤️❤️
There’s always something bothering me. Right now it could be that I wish I could be as beautiful as you❤️❤️
❤️ I love you ❤️ This is your safe place also, as well as twist and blue and everyone else who comes here. ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami if you want to be as beautiful as me, then your gonna need to start eating makeup😋 it makes you pretty on the inside😂😂😂 thankyou for letting this be our safe place too ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
This may have started as my “safe” place, but it no longer is. It has become our safe place. Yours, twist,blue, amiable,working, helga, and everyone else who comes here. ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ❤❤ see now there is our definition of trust🙂❤
I’m more than halfway through a day I want over with. I despise this day. It’s only a month and a number. But it represents a deep hatred of my younger years. My feelings towards this day has nothing to do with aging or marking another year off on a calendar. This day doesn’t represent joy and happiness and celebration. It represents frustration, anger, sadness and jealousy, and hate.
I was conceived out of a makeup session in a marriage that had long since failed. I was born not in a house of love, but in one of frustration and aggravation. I was only allowed to be born because abortion wasn’t an option. Adoption.. can’t answer that regarding why I wasn’t put up for adoption. Unless it had to do with status in their lives.
I was the child that was just “there” .
I have lost my grasp on the thread of thought I was on , sorry.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami it's your birthday, I had no idea. I get that it's a day you hate rather than want to celebrate.. But that doesn't mean we can't have cake😋 here's your birthday cake😁 I left you a slice😁
Got off the phone awhile ago. It was the phone call doing the interview process for long term disability from my insurance company. There may not be a decision regarding my qualifying for it until the end of November. So a payment wouldn’t be released until after that.
But that call kind of slapped me in the face in regards to it will probably be January at the earliest that I can get back to work.
The darkness that I live in is something I have accustomed myself to, I didn’t say I am comfortable with. I just adapted and adjusted my mind to get by on a second by second basis.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami living second by second, minute by minute. That's how I live to😁 that's a good thing, thinking to far ahead can really get you down. Ok so your birthday we won't mention. But what if we just call it iam's international day😁 and just give thanks that your here right now, in my life and heart, and I'm the heart of all your friends here ❤ ❤
🍹ting ting ting🍹 can I have everyone's attention please, I'd like to make a speach😁 I just want you to know, your amazing, your heart is still in the light, even if your mind isnt. And that's very special your heart is what keeps drawing people to you ❤ you have many special qualities that keep us all here together ❤ and through everything I'm right by your side, together we can do anything😁 all good things are connected ❤ I love you sooooo much ❤ happy you day ❤
@iamwhoiamwhoami @Tinywhisper11
Oh, iam’s international day!
I’ll be the one bringing the weird dessert that someone will finally take one square out of to be polite. 😁
We are thankful for you, iam! ❤️ I hope one day it will have a new and better meaning for you.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas yaaaaaay! Parrtttyyyyy
